At first we were taught that appearance is not the main thing. Then it turned out that appearance is an important sign of status, and it is worth working on your image. So does appearance matter or not?
I remember that in my youth this phrase came across to me in some book, and for a long time I did not know that it belongs to Oscar Wilde. The idea struck me then, like everything paradoxical. Because we lived according to the saying “they meet by their clothes, they see them off by their mind”. Everything was clear here: no matter how you dress up, you can’t hide stupidity. And in general, it’s not about appearance, but about your true, that is, inner virtues. Adults said: the main thing is what kind of person.
With this deep conviction, we still carefully monitored our appearance. In youth, a person does not leave the stage around the clock. So you have to look. Otherwise, why does my mother diligently alter my older brother’s jackets for me, and I torture my naughty hair with bryolin? No, everything has to do with something important in me.
Or rather, everything is important in me, because everything is mine, and my appearance, voice, gesture is the Self in its most undeniable manifestation. And not a single girl will agree with the song that, they say, “don’t be born beautiful, but be born happy.” Everyone wants to be beautiful and knows that this is the shortest path to happiness. And let the ugly girls read Zabolotsky at school evenings about what beauty is: “She is a vessel in which there is emptiness, or a fire flickering in a vessel.” Boring and necessary only for those who are unlucky.
The phrase came in handy. For example, in a book or in a movie, you can immediately see when a traitor or bandit appears. His hands are sweaty, his smile is false, his trousers and sleeves of his jacket are short, he laughs, and at the same time he looks away – he thinks about how best to deceive. The rest of the characters are just naive, not immediately noticed. But we see right away. Yes, and in life, the one who is unpleasant to us, as a rule, has repulsive mannerisms, appearance, and even a surname. By the way you dress, you can easily determine who is a clicker and who is a movie star.
But at the same time, we are all idealists, for we are firmly convinced of our own moral integrity. We sincerely believe in what we say, and we think that we think what we think at this moment, but we want what all good people on earth want. Here you don’t need to think anything – just look into the eyes, which, after all, never lie (this saying was good).
God, with what naivety and fearlessness one could then offer to look into the eyes and how good life was in the radiant one-dimensional world!
The process of growing up was accompanied by reading literature. She taught the complex dialectic of the relationship between external and internal
There were also then, of course, all kinds of complexes, despair, misanthropy that suddenly covered the mind and a feeling of one’s own outcast, even pangs of conscience …
But all of them were so obvious, fleeting and so in need of a viewer and listener that it was impossible to hide them in yourself for a long time, which means that you again turned out to be honest, sincere and, in fact, very good. And handsome, of course.
Then life became more complicated, and he himself managed to make trouble. To learn, for example, the shameful discrepancy between a beautiful-hearted plan, true intentions and real forces.
All this process of young growing up was, of course, accompanied by the reading of our great literature, begun at school. She taught the complex dialectic of the relationship between the external and the internal. But, in essence, it also taught to the strict obligatory nature of such a correlation. It was called “artistic detail”. Nozdryov, for example, at the very first meeting began to say “you” to Chichikov – nothing good could be expected from him. Rudin, already at the beginning of the novel, spoke in such a thin voice that it became clear to everyone: for revolutionary aspirations, he was weak, but what to say about “naked Helen” in the theater.
Then came a certain satiety with realistic literature. The problem of the relation between the external and the internal now seemed old-fashioned. In addition, the more incarnations life acquired, the more imperfect the next realization seemed. Yes, we are all not handsome, but the ratio of external and internal is a ridiculous concern, after all, people are not young.
However, a turn towards realism is apparently inevitable. Again, I want not only simple answers, but some kind of internal stability and clarity.
There is nowhere to go – our attitude towards a person develops literally in the first minute of our acquaintance. That is, it corresponds to the impression that his appearance made. Clothing plays an important role here, of course. But I think Oscar Wilde was talking about more than just clothes. Face, voice, mannerisms, conversation. The habits of a person who is “on his mind” or fussy and insecure are immediately evident. Pretentiousness or reticence of a worthy person too.
Yes, what is there – every person, with summer dunes around the pupil, the funeral gait of an aging youth, sincere laughter, a gloomy look – all at a glance. Like a shelled seed under the gaze of the midday sun. If he came up with an image for himself, then, sooner or later, the game will reveal itself.
Don’t cheat, don’t hide. And yes, only fools don’t judge by appearances.