It is a great joy to have friends, like-minded people, to be with those who understand us. The Internet environment makes it possible to create exactly the “support group” that is needed. True, it takes effort.
Writer Ray Bradbury called technology “a bag of good and bad”. On the one hand, they make it possible to do the usual things faster and better, leaving more time for yourself. On the other hand, they are accustomed to a certain level of comfort, with which we no longer want to part.
In addition, the world of technology is fraught with dangers: by trusting devices that we do not understand well, we risk becoming victims of scammers, trolls and virtual rapists. Email, social media, and dating apps have shortened the distance between people, making communication more accessible. How has this affected our lives?
Do you have many friends?
Sociologists have long noticed that we feel happier when a strong network of connections forms around us. Relatives, friends, neighbors, acquaintances are our social capital, which brings many benefits. For example, through “handshakes” we can find a job or a good doctor.
We know that in difficult times we will receive support, even if we value independence and do not like to be imposed. Finally, we just have someone to chat with. We can always pull a thread and someone will definitely respond.
This pattern also works in the virtual space. In 2011, American psychologists found out that the more friends a person has on Facebook, the more satisfied he is with life. Recall the euphoria caused by the emergence of social networks like Odnoklassniki. Some abandoned work, family and spent hours staring at the computer screen, where one by one their long-lost neighbors, school friends, first love “come to life”.
Depressed people feel needed when they receive messages, comments, and likes on social media.
“In terms of communication, the benefits of the Internet are much greater than the harm,” says psychologist Elena Perova. – For example, most of my friends do not live in Russia, it turns out to see each other a couple of times a year at best. Without social networks and instant messengers, it would be difficult to maintain relationships.”
In this sense, the Internet has become a salvation for those who are excluded from society. For example, online communication alleviates the condition of people prone to depression. Psychologists have found that they feel more needed when they receive a lot of messages, comments and likes. In addition, online communication fills the lives of older people with new meaning.
“On my tablet, I read about what is happening in the world, I answer e-mails,” says 70-year-old Olga. — My grandchildren connected me to a site where you can listen to classical music concerts. They keep saying, Grandma, it’s time for you to start a blog. Maybe it’s really worth it?
Face the truth
Being online can make us happier—but only when we are willing to be honest with ourselves and others. The happiest users are not those who have lost count of “friends” and subscribers, but those for whom communication with everyone is filled with meaning, as psychologists Jong Hyun Kim and Chen Eun Lee found.
“Virtual communication can become the basis for real communication, but only if we ourselves are ready to invest in it,” agrees cyberpsychologist Natalya Bogacheva. – For example, relationships that have developed through dating sites can develop into a strong alliance. But virtual communication itself is very limited. We do not know exactly what kind of person is behind the avatar. And if we are not ready for a deeper communication than the exchange of likes, then we risk being disappointed.”
Recent surveys show that the most depressed users are those sites where communication is reduced to the exchange of pictures – Instagram and Snapchat. “Both platforms are geared towards images, and this seems to make young people feel inadequate and unsettling,” said Shirley Cramer, head of the British Royal Society for Health.
In other words, if we exist on the Internet only to “see others and show ourselves,” we do not create real connections.
“In ordinary life, we also often build an image for ourselves that we want to match,” emphasizes Elena Perova. “But it cuts off from us those manifestations that do not fit into it. For example, the image of a “real man” makes it difficult to show “non-male” emotions. In addition, striving to look perfect, we cause envy and feelings of inferiority in others. Do not be afraid to show your faults and weaknesses, and you will be gladly supported.