One warrior in the field: how to learn to rely only on yourself

There is only one way out — to go to the goal on your own, not counting on the support and approval of loved ones. The following steps will help.

1. Learn to ask yourself questions and listen to yourself

It is important to start having an internal dialogue, listening less to critical remarks from outside. Start asking yourself questions:

• Is this what I want right now?
• How do I feel when talking to this person?
• Do I like the means by which I can achieve this goal?

It is not easy to make them a habit: at first you will have to remind yourself of the need for internal dialogue, but sooner or later you will get used to it and you will not be able to do without it. Having an internal “interviewer” and “listener” will make life more conscious and comfortable.

2. Remember when you achieved goals based only on your experience and skills

Perhaps a case will come to mind when it was your idea that became the trigger that turned the flywheels of the entire project. Or maybe you refrained from criticism in time and thanks to this you aroused the trust of a major client. Try to remember as many of these stories as you can. Any, even the smallest achievement, is a success. Do not devalue yourself and your merits.

All successful experience is your building material for the current project, in which you are both the “foreman” and the “worker”.

3. Give yourself support instead of waiting for it from others.

What do you expect from others? Perhaps unconditional faith in you and your undertakings? Or do you want to hear the words: “You will succeed!”, “Who, if not you?”, “I don’t doubt you!”. Even if this time a loved one does not support your initiative, cheer yourself up the way he would do it.

4. Find a team of like-minded people

These can be people from different social groups and projects: for example, a community of young businessmen or participants in an acting training. The main thing is to find those who, like you, are taking steps towards a dream in a similar area.

Your task is to feed on ideas, thoughts, to form a positive attitude in the company of those who are on the same wavelength with you. You can also team up with one of the participants: he will inspire you to new steps, and you will inspire him. The need to «account» for the results of the actions taken makes many of us more disciplined.

5. Imagine Success

Imagine that you have taken the first steps towards the goal and you are starting to succeed. You meet the right people along the way. Imagine how customers place their first orders with you. Imagine receiving positive feedback about your work. Immerse yourself in this state of success, feel it. What are you experiencing? Excitement, excitement? An adrenaline rush? Or maybe you finally became calm and easy?

Return yourself to this state as often as possible and you will see that the steps towards the goal have become easier, you are slipping less and less. That’s because now you know exactly what success feels like.

6. Praise yourself

At the end of the day, be sure to remember what step (even a small step) you took today. You are no longer standing still, you have moved in the direction of a dream and deserve praise. If you can’t find a reason for approval, ask yourself the question: “What am I grateful for today? What can I praise myself for? You will see the process go faster.

Of course, being left without support from relatives is not easy and unpleasant, but the current situation gives you the opportunity to fully realize your potential. And the victory achieved alone will be many times more valuable and significant than the success, on the way to which you were accompanied by a “support group”.