They say that all the best in life awaits us on the other side of fear. But this feeling often binds hands and feet and does not allow moving forward – there, beyond the horizon, towards dreams and a better future. How to free yourself from shackles?
Fear of failure, rejection, falling. Fear of starting something, changing, losing everything. Anxiety, endless “what if” and “what if” … Perhaps you are familiar with this. Perhaps you, too, are postponing the implementation of plans, ideas and most cherished desires for later – because it is too scary to act now. In that case, try asking yourself one very simple question.
“And what would I do (a) if I were not afraid (feared)?”
Few of us try to reflect on this subject. But the answer to this question can completely change the angle of view, perspective, and, oddly enough, give us strength. The strength that will allow you not to run away from your fear, turn around to face it and take a step forward.
Yes, evolutionarily, fear played a very important role in our lives – without this feeling, we simply would not have survived. The problem is that today we are no longer threatened by either saber-toothed cats or predatory plants, and we still continue to be afraid. Simply because, on the scale of human history, too little time has passed for the psyche to change.
Behind the current fears lies the pain inflicted in the past, traumatic experiences from which we have not yet been able to recover. And life becomes like walking through a minefield: we carefully choose where to put our foot, we think for a long time before taking the next step. Fear binds, deprives of freedom of action.
In spite of fear
Everyone has fears. The question is how exactly you treat your people: obey them or fight back, act contrary.
Perhaps you are afraid to invite a person you like on a date – what if they refuse you? Maybe you absolutely do not like your current job, but you do not dare to change something – what if you are fired from a new job or the company goes bankrupt? Or you can’t start a conversation with a partner on a difficult topic – you never know how it all turns out. Or do you not give free rein to feelings, for example, anxiety – what if it grabs you with your head, and you no longer get out of this whirlpool?
And you prefer to suffer, but do not change anything. The nature of these fears is understandable. But on the other side of the scale are the opportunities and prospects that you deprive yourself of. An opportunity to become happier and freer.
By deciding to have an uncomfortable conversation, you may save a relationship or get a promotion at work. By learning to endure your feelings instead of running from them, you can reduce the intensity of the pain, and gradually it will subside. Taking a step forward, despite the fear of failure, you will go where you never dreamed of.
So ask yourself, “What would I do if I wasn’t afraid?” And step forward.