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– When the doctor asked if they could extract organs from my son… I passed out. However, Rafał once said that he would like to save someone’s life. He saved five – says his mother, Krystyna Piątek.
There is not a single bruise on Raphael’s body. Almost. Only one small one, on the back of the head, invisible under the dressing anyway. The chest rises to the rhythm of the respirator. There are a lot of tubes sticking out of the 19-year-old’s body. Body temperature is dropping more and more. Ten o’clock with minutes, on June 26 this year, eight days after the accident, a group of doctors from the hospital in Piła stand over the boy’s body.
– They confirmed the death of his son on a committee, but Rafał was actually dead since the accident. We said goodbye to him earlier, before organ donation. To the coffin … – Zbigniew, Rafał’s father, voice breaks. – … I bought him a Lech hat and scarf, because my son was a football fan. I left them in the dissecting room to be dressed.
He was supposed to bury us
The funeral home workers took the coffin with the body to the crematorium in Bydgoszcz. Behind the black hearse was a silver car, with Zbigniew and Krystyna in it. They rode in silence over 60 kilometers. They stopped a kilometer from the incinerator building in the forest.
– We couldn’t participate in it. We did not have the strength – confesses Krystyna.
They waited for the hearse to return with the urn. Rafał was buried in the cemetery in his home town of Okonek. It is a small town. It is maybe a kilometer from home to the cemetery. There is a photo of Rafał on a shelf in the living room. Next to it, a wooden ball, a souvenir from Germany that Zbigniew brought to little Rafcio. And a snowball with the inscription “Wieżyca”. Rafał’s father shakes the ball.
– There is a miniature of an inverted house, a tourist attraction that we were supposed to see this year – Zbigniew gasps and hardly goes on. – The son was supposed to bury us. Take care of us in old age. He was our only child. We were alone. This should not happen. Everything reminds us of him. We go to a psychologist and we always pass the delivery room where our son was born. I remember like it was yesterday. I want to howl in pain.
I clung to that thought
Rafał’s mother learned about the accident from a friend. He was driving along a gravel road as straight as a ruler. On one side it ends in the forest, on the other side there is a police station. Now there is a cross in the center of this line.
– We are convinced that the car tumbled. The son flew out through the side window, he was a passenger – says Zbigniew’s father.
The boy was transported by helicopter to the hospital in Piła. A neighbor took Krystyna there, and Zbigniew soon arrived. They entered the ICU together. They saw Rafał connected to the apparatus. He was in a pharmacological coma. Doctors told them that their son had a fractured skull. They sat all day by his bedside. The next day, Rafał’s condition deteriorated. According to doctors, the prognosis for improvement was slim. They ordered the Friday to buy toiletries for their son. – I clung to the thought that when they ordered to buy it, there was a chance – Zbigniew recalls. – I didn’t think I would have to shave my son, but to the coffin.
I was holding his hands
On the fourth day of stay in the hospital, the father sat next to his son.
“I’ve been holding his hands all day,” he admits.
Rafał’s parents asked the nurses about his condition. They didn’t want to say anything. They told me to go to the doctor. Finally, Piątkowo found courage. She asked her parents if they would agree to organ donation.
– We realized that it was over. The wife passed out. After she recovered a little, we agreed. Rafał was an honorary blood donor. He would like it, his father explains.
Krystyna did not return home that day. Doctors put her in the ward. Her husband visited two patients for the next few days.
– Rafał was on the ground floor, wife on the fourth floor – says Zbigniew.
– I was kind of shocked. I don’t remember two days in my life – Krystyna shrugs her shoulders with resignation.
Parents know that Rafał was an organ donor for five people. They want to keep secret which organs have been removed. – When after three days I got a call that the transplants were successful, I felt relieved. As if some weight had fallen off me. At least a part of the son was saved – says Zbigniew.
Stand on the other side
In the salon, next to Rafał’s mementos, there are thanks for parents from the Department of Transplantology and General Surgery of the University Hospital No. dr. A. Jurasza in Bydgoszcz. The clinic doctors transplanted the organs of Piątek’s son. Doctor Aleksandra Woderska from Jurasz, Bydgoszcz, explains: – The results of research in the field of social psychology show that having the opportunity to save someone’s life, most people will do it. This is confirmed by the results of CBOS research from 1, which showed that 2012 percent of Poles would agree to the removal of organs after death for transplantation.
In 2014, 782 potential deceased organ donors were reported to the Poltransplan Coordination Office. In 100 cases, collection was abandoned due to formal and legal contraindications.
– that is, own objections registered in the Central Register of Objections or the prosecutor’s office [for example, in the case of a suspicion that the death occurred as a result of a prohibited act constituting a crime – ed. ed.] – lists Woderska.
Most often, families object to their beliefs. Although doctors emphasize that most religions approve of organ transplantation.
– Pope John Paul II spoke about donating his organs as an act of great love,
which gives life to others – argues the doctor.
The reason for the refusal is also the reluctance to interfere with the body of the deceased, or simply the lack of knowledge of the deceased person’s will.
– Three quarters of Poles did not talk to their relatives about their will to donate their organs after death. Meanwhile, this topic should be discussed in the group of relatives – says Woderska. – Remember that each of us may one day stand on one or the other
side of the transplant process.
He was running to the field
Rafał’s father unexpectedly cuts in: – We sold the apartment two hours ago. We can’t live here.
He looks around the room. In Rafał’s room there are still his belongings, school certificates.
– He studied at the technical school in Szczecinek; general construction. He was supposed to finish the interior. He failed a year because instead of studying, he preferred the company of friends. It seemed that he was stupid and wanted to make up for lost time – convinces Zbigniew.
– In the last text I got from my son, he wrote that he had improved the math – interjects Krystyna.
There are diplomas on the wall, including those from kindergarten. – Rafał was our only child. We have been trying to get him for a long time – says the mother.
He played football from an early age. Rafał’s mother nods at the windows in the living room. – More than once, through the windows, I saw his hair running across the street. There is a playground on the other side.
You fell asleep, my son
The stone will be black with a touch of green. Friday’s explain that they chose the simplest grave. So easy to clean, because when they run out, there will be no one to clean.
– Maybe friends will come or someone will put a candle on a lonely grave – says Zbigniew.
He admits that he would like to meet those people in which Rafał lives. – Probably to console myself that his death was not in vain.
Krystyna takes out a sheet of paper. She shows the inscription she would like to put on her son’s tombstone:
«You fell asleep my love
In our hearts
Deep wounds
Sweet Dreams
Hope: we will meet again »