There is no single definition of love, for each it is its own, special, unique. The only thing that can be said for sure is that “butterflies in the stomach” do not appear by chance. In life, each of us goes through three stages of love. It can be falling in love with three different people or one love that changes character over time.
Everyone has their own unique experience. Someone needs to live several love stories before finding happiness, someone immediately meets one love for life. Everyone goes through three stages of relationship development, with one partner or with different, says psychologist Nathan Weber.
1. Perfect love
The ideal relationship is often teenage love in high school or college. For many, it is the first time in their lives. We are overwhelmed with dreams, naivety and innocence, falling in love seems like a feeling from fairy tales.
Lovers lose their heads, it is difficult for them to concentrate on anything other than relationships. The partner becomes the topic of any conversation, because of this, quarrels with parents and friends may arise.
Once disappointed, we become defenseless, and love takes on a different character.
This ideal love becomes the most vivid memory of youth. Despite the fact that many have to face disappointment, this is a rewarding experience: it helps us grow and mature.
2. Love as a necessity
When ideal ideas about love fly apart and we face the real world, a new stage begins. His companions are doubt, suffering, loneliness and a sense of abandonment.
Once disappointed, we become defenseless, and love takes on a different character. It becomes vital for changing our state of mind. But we again make a mistake and become individualists.
Love should not be selfish, even for defensive reasons. Such relationships also lead to disappointment and pain. We want to heal past wounds and choose relationships in which we love more for ourselves than for the other. Such love can be strong, stormy, sensual, but initially destructive.
3. Unexpected love
Having alternately gone to extremes, first completely devoting ourselves to another person, then becoming too obsessed with ourselves, we finally understand that none of these options work.
Then we come to the realization that it is worth moderating the claims, that there is a balance between «giving everything to another» and «taking everything for yourself.» The moment the desire for balance comes, we are ready to love truly.
The more life experience and wisdom, the more clearly we begin to see love relationships from the inside.
Love in adolescence is easier than relationships in a more mature and conscious age. As you grow older, the attitude to writing a love story becomes more complicated, the veil and magic of love gradually dissipate.
Now we have to take into account a lot of additional facts that did not play a role before. But the more life experience and wisdom, the more clearly we begin to see love relationships from the inside and analyze them.
Of course, we still make mistakes, but now we understand them, learn from them and develop. Complicity, mutual understanding and sincerity are the keys closest to «true love.»
Relations with a partner will change character, go through different stages
As a rule, different types of relationships develop depending on the temperament of the partners: explosive or calm, open or closed. It doesn’t matter if love lasts decades, several years or months, relationships with a partner will change character, go through different stages.
You can go from passionate lovers to true friends and reliable partners. Love, like other feelings, has its own laws.