This time my notes will be sadder than usual. Not everything in the world can be said with a smile. Let’s take marriage, for example.
The couple embodies for us what we dream of: a small love world created together, warm and affectionate, in which we are protected from the cold harsh reality of the big world. Many of us manage, if not to realize the dream in all details, then at least to make the environment calm and pleasant. And sometimes it even happens to enjoy minutes of brighter pleasures: on vacation, over a glass of wine, sitting in bed … Meanwhile, in this very bed, which symbolizes love, it happens that there is not a drop of love itself, that it was replaced by indifference or, worse, , disgust or hatred. While conducting a sociological study of the bedroom, I was horrified to find that some people spend the whole night clutching the edge of the mattress in order to feel as far as possible from their intimate enemy!
Read more:
- Bored… is love over?
A cozy love world can turn into a real hell. I am not talking here about spousal violence as an extreme manifestation of this trend, but about more frequent situations when a couple is emasculated, deprived of its inner meaning. Partners feel that they are drifting in different directions, that tender words and touches have become rare, that life keeps them close to the web of habits that they have created, but that the heartfelt connection that gives meaning to living together is no longer between them. Then the distance can increase, to the point that it becomes psychologically destructive, even if there is no open violence in the couple. When life becomes such a hell, it’s obviously time to think about breaking up. But if some partners are in a hurry to run away after the first quarrel, others cling to the status quo, even if living together is unbearable. Referring to children for whom divorce will become a drama (like staying in a family where parents do not love each other is better), financial reasons or the housing problem. I know quite a few couples who have tried to turn into flatmates, become “exes” while still living under the same roof, but nothing good ever comes of it. It also happens that two people live together, simply because life goes on as usual and it is scary to change it. This is how we build our invisible prison, in which there are no bars, but which suffocates us with sadness and boredom. Why do we lack the courage to break out of hell, why are we so afraid to dream of another life?