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How many people expect something good from old age? However, we have good reason to be very optimistic about it. The heroes of the photo project «The Age of Happiness», created several years ago, are convinced of this.
How did you come up with this idea to go in search of older people who are living vibrant, fulfilling lives?
Vladimir Yakovlev, journalist, publisher, media manager: I started this project for a very personal, even intimate reason: at 51, I realized that I was starting to age. I was very afraid of approaching old age, because I was sure that nothing good could be expected from life in the next 20-30 years.
And yet, I had a glimmer of hope to spend my free time differently than most older people. I wanted to understand if I can somehow improve my life at this time or if I should just relax and just wait for the finale.
I approached the issue seriously: since there were no specialists in our country who could tell about a happy life after 60, I decided to find those people who live brightly, enjoying every day.
In three years, I traveled nine countries and met with more than a hundred people aged 60 to 104 to understand if their lifestyle has something in common — which means it is also available to me — or if they just have good genes.
I must confess to you: after that, nothing remained of my ideas about what age is.
Not a single conviction that was formed in me by my family, education, and environment could stand. All of my interlocutors were active, happy, feeling great, and many of them were in such physical shape that even twenty-year-olds would envy.
Why do you think that heredity is not the most important thing here?
Perhaps genetics plays an important role, but I did not manage to see this. I saw something else — people who simply refused to grow old and found a way not to do it.
As an example, I will cite one 104-year-old woman: she is an excellent pianist, every day she plays Bach for 3-4 hours — without notes, from memory. 20 years ago, she had cancer, from which she, in her opinion, was cured with the help of music. And her twin sister passed away many years ago because she lived differently.
If it’s so simple, then why did you have to travel around so many countries to find only a hundred of these people? Why do we see mostly other examples around?
I was also interested in this question. Today it is even difficult for me to say to what extent age itself is the cause of degradation and to what extent it is our understanding of it. People know for sure that life before 30 is needed in order to study, in the period from 30 to 60 you need to make a career and raise children.
If you ask why they need life after 60, why they need old age, many cannot answer. They approach the age of 60 with absolute certainty that all that awaits them is a quiet fading away. It is generally accepted that at 60 our brain is the same as at 20, only worse. But it’s not!
Old age is another stage of brain development. It does not degrade, but changes, and therefore, to teach older people foreign languages, for example, you just need to use other methods.
We lack information about what you can devote yourself to when your career has already taken place and the children have grown up
The 50 heroes of this book showed by their own example that old age is not a sentence, but potentially the happiest period of human life. Many of them took up dancing or sports seriously at the age of 50-60, and some even changed their profession.
What unites people who live happily ever after?
They eat little, move a lot and live for their own pleasure, enjoying every day. They readily accept everything that life presents them, both successes and failures. Each of them at some point consciously made a choice in favor of not aging, «as expected.»
As one of the heroes of the project, 80-year-old skydiver John Booth, said, “You can’t stop skydiving because you’re old. You can get old because you stopped skydiving.”
“Training the mind is the most important thing…”
Balbar Lama, 86 years old, Russia, Moscow
“We are arranged in such a way that our consciousness rushes about. Thought jumps all the time. This takes a lot of energy. And you can’t run. You have to think about one thing. About the path you want to take. To do this, you need to train the mind. Mind training is the most important thing… If you give in to your mind, you can stumble and go the wrong way.
There is always a queue for the Balbar Lama. So it was when he worked as a doctor in Buryatia, and when he received patients in Mongolia. So it is now, after he opened the Chud-shih medical center in Moscow in 2011. Now, in order to get an appointment with him, you need to make an appointment for a month.
And this is not surprising. Balbar Lama is a Buddhist monk, although he lives in the world. He is 86 years old, of which 50 years is his continuous medical experience. He himself uses his methods and therefore is a living example of how they work.
Every day the Balbar Lama wakes up at 6 am and meditates for 3 hours. In the evening he meditates again — for 3-4 hours. If it seems to you that 7 hours of meditation every day is a rest, then try it yourself sometime, and you will immediately understand everything.
He sees more than 20 patients a week — at the center and sometimes, as an exception, at home. In the afternoon, if there are no patients, he definitely goes for a walk. He walks all the time, even in bad weather. Balbar Lama is sure that to maintain health one needs to walk a lot. It is especially important to walk after meals.
At 86, Balbar Lama is in perfect health. He rarely even gets sick with a cold. If you ask him how to maintain health and clarity of mind, he will say that it is very important to eat well. Be sure to eat fish, poultry, meat (except pork), ghee and, very importantly, honey. You need to eat 4-5 times a day, but little by little, do not overeat.
When choosing products, you need to take into account both physical activity and the region of residence. In northern countries, Balbar Lama believes, being a vegetarian is harmful. And he also recommends taking small, 20-30 minute breaks for sleep during the day.
But for a happy life, the most important thing is not food and not treatment. It is important to relate to life and to people. The secret of happiness and health after 60 is in the ability to see the good and in a kind attitude towards others, Balbar Lama is sure. And for those who are used to putting themselves above others, their character deteriorates with age, and hence their health.
“Age is a great opportunity to think about your life”
Hedda Bolgar, 103 years old, USA, Los Angeles
“People talk a lot about what we lose as we age and forget about what we gain. It’s not fair. Over the years, we gain independence, become less anxious. Age provides a great opportunity to reflect on your life, stop being angry at yourself for making wrong decisions and get rid of guilt.
Hedda Bolgar is a well-known psychoanalyst. She lives alone in her home in Los Angeles, seeing patients 20 hours a week. He lectures and attends professional conferences. In a word, Hedda is a smart, bright, successful Californian woman who has an active and very independent life.
Hedda Bolgar is 103 years old. She received her diploma in Vienna in 1936. Her teachers were the psychoanalysts of the Vienna Circle, the closest followers of Sigmund Freud. She has over 75 years of experience in mental health.
Now Hedda has many patients. Some of them are elderly. “I have a patient who is 91 years old. She is so glad that she is talking to a therapist who is older than her. It seems to her that young people cannot understand all her problems. And I think she’s right in a lot of ways.»
Every day Hedda Bolgar helps others understand themselves and feel better. Therefore, she sincerely does not understand why retire. The efficiency of this woman, the clarity and sharpness of her mind are amazing: maybe she practices some special rejuvenating techniques?
“You know,” she replies seriously, “for the last 80 years I haven’t done much sports.” True, a little over a year ago (that is, at the age of 101) Hedda became interested in yoga. Now the teacher comes to her house.
According to Hedda Bolgar, in order to live happily ever after, the most important thing is to learn to accept what is happening and not worry too much about difficulties. Especially because it hasn’t happened yet.
“You still don’t know what will happen to you in the future. Which of your friends and loved ones will you lose, what will you get sick with, what troubles will you have to face. Your fears will not necessarily become reality — quite the contrary. Therefore, there is no point in worrying in advance. It is better to enjoy life and not think about the bad,” she concludes.
“If I want, then I can become a DJ!”
Ruth Flowers, 72, UK, Bristol
“I love airports, I love wandering through them, shopping and people watching…”
Ruth Flowers was 58 when she lost her husband. It seemed that all that awaited her in the future was just memories of the past. Today, 72-year-old Ruth Flowers gives several concerts a month and literally lives in airplanes, flying from one end of the world to another.
Here’s how Ruth Flowers made her decision to become a club DJ. The grandson invited her to his birthday party at a nightclub. The guard at the entrance gave Ruth an appraising look. “I think at your age you don’t need to go there,” he said. “But I think it should!” Ruth replied. The guard just shrugged.
“If I want, then I can become a DJ!” Ruth said. The guard gave her another look and grinned in a way that Ruth knew she would either become a DJ or never respect herself again. “Why is it that people my age can’t have fun? thought Ruth the next morning. «Why is everyone so sure we’re supposed to be quiet at home?»
Literally a few days later, friends introduced her to the young French producer Aurel Simon. Over the next two years, Ruth Flowers learned how to mix tracks and make DJ sets — modern electronic music was a completely new world for her (a former singing teacher).
And Orel, meanwhile, unsuccessfully tried to organize at least one decent gig for Mammy Rock (such a stage name they came up with for Ruth). But the club managers just shrugged their shoulders: the almost 70-year-old grandmother who used to lecture on Dickens? As a DJ? Funny!
By some miracle, Aurel managed to include the performance of Mammy Rock in the program of one of the parties at the Cannes Film Festival. And it began. In just a year, Ruth became a world celebrity. The young club audience is delighted with her image and her musical sets. She is recognized in clubs and on the street, asked for autographs …
She plays in the best clubs in the world — in London, Ibiza, Paris, New York, Los Angeles, Tokyo … For an hour she holds the energy of two, three, or even five thousand crowds of spectators. «It’s just a pity there’s no time left to give lectures on Dickens!»
The article is based on the materials of Vladimir Yakovlev’s book «The Age of Happiness», which was published in 2013.