Svetlana Krivtsova read for us Paul Ekman’s book “The Psychology of Emotions. I know what you feel».
“Paul Ekman is a behavioral scientist, a researcher of reactions, actions and behavior, not a psychotherapist. For more than 40 years he has been studying human emotions and in a new book he talks about his amazing discoveries. Paul Ekman is incredibly talented. I read his book with unconditional interest, to which other feelings were added, and after analyzing them, as the author recommends, I realized that I had a good book about emotions, but it was written for men. Not because it tells about women, but because the way of knowing is more characteristic of rational male logic. This is the path from fragmentary, contradictory facts to the essence explaining them, to conclusions.
Ekman’s book is a real detective story about human emotions. The author generously shares the subtlest observations on how to determine what a person feels when he lies or does not understand what he feels. It turns out that amazement can be recognized by tingling in the elbows and back of the neck, goosebumps, changes in breathing. But admiration does not give such sensations. It turns out that no one can intentionally cause a contraction of the circular muscle of the eye, namely, it is by it that a sincere smile is distinguished from a smile on duty, even if it is wide. It turns out that in 50% of cases, the deceiver can notice microexpressions of emotions that do not correspond to the macroexpression: for example, for 1/25 of a second, a flash of contempt against the background of sincere remorse. The author teaches us to notice such hot spots. Here are some markers of lies: «the inner corners of the eyebrows do not rise in a person who only imitates grief», and «feigned fear will be expressed without raised and brought together eyebrows.»
A BOOK ABOUT WHAT A PERSON FEELING WHEN HE LIES OR DOES NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU FEEL.
Ekman takes a detailed look at the basic emotions: sadness, anger, surprise, contempt, and joy. At one time, Charles Darwin discovered them in chimpanzees and concluded about the importance of universal manifestations of emotions for the survival of the pack, and later the human community. But more complex emotions — embarrassment, jealousy, envy, shame — are not given to the behavioral psychologist Ekman. Since I am just a psychotherapist and a representative of another, phenomenological way of knowing, I can say that in order to understand emotions in ordinary life, it is better to turn to existential-phenomenological psychology, one of the definitions of which is perception that does not suspect one’s neighbor. If a person (but not a criminal) lies, it means that he cannot do otherwise. However, even those who, after reading the book, will begin to watch their loved ones suspiciously, aren’t they lying? – they will soon leave this occupation: after all, in everyday life, trust is more profitable than suspicion.