We trust them with our children, we are used to considering them as authorities, often forgetting that they are people just like us. Teachers can also be in a bad mood and, as a result, take out their anger on our children, overstepping boundaries. That is why it is important to be an advocate for your child.
I will probably say the most anti-pedagogical thing in the world. If a child is scolded at school, never immediately take the side of the teacher. Do not rush at the child for the company of the teacher, no matter what he has done. Not doing homework? Oh, terrible crime, so do the task together. Bullying in class? Terrible, terrible, but nothing terrible at all.
A real horror when a formidable teacher and terrible parents hang over a child. He is alone. And there is no salvation. Everyone blames him. Even maniacs always have lawyers in court, and here stands this unfortunate man who did not learn some stupid verse, and the world turned into hell. To hell! You are his only and main advocate.
Teachers do not always care about spiritual vibrations, they have a learning process, check notebooks, inspectors from the Department of Education, and even their own family. If a teacher scolds a child, you should not do the same. Teacher’s anger is enough.
Your child is the best in the world. And point. Teachers come and go, the child is always with you
No need to shout at the whole house: “Whoever grows out of you, everything is gone!” Nothing is lost if you are nearby, if you speak calmly, kindly, ironically. The child has already experienced stress, why drag out the “torture”? He no longer listens to you, does not understand the meaning of empty words, he is simply confused and scared.
Your child is the best in the world. And point. Teachers come and go, the child is always with you. Moreover, sometimes it is worth chilling the teacher himself. They are nervous people, sometimes they do not restrain themselves, they humiliate children. I really appreciate the teachers, I myself worked at the school, I know this wild work. But I also know something else, how they can torment and offend, sometimes for no particular reason. The slightly absent-minded girl just infuriates the teacher. Infuriates with a mysterious smile, funny badges on the jacket, beautiful thick hair. All people, all are weak.
Parents often have a primal fear of teachers. I’ve seen enough of them at parent-teacher conferences. The most uninhibited and dashing mothers turn into pale lambs: “Excuse us, we will no longer …” But teachers — you will be surprised — also make pedagogical mistakes. Sometimes deliberately. And the mother bleats, does not mind, the teacher does everything serious: no one will stop her. Nonsense!
You parents stop. Come and speak alone with the teacher: calmly, efficiently, strictly. With each phrase, making it clear: you will not give your baby «to be eaten.» The teacher will appreciate this. Before him is not an extravagant mother, but a lawyer for her child. It would be best if the father came at all. No need to shirk and say that you are tired. Fathers have a beneficial effect on teachers.
The child will have so many more problems in life. As long as he is with you, you must protect him from the world. Yes, scold, get angry, grumble, but protect
My son grew up as a difficult boy. Explosive, capricious, stubborn. Changed four schools. When he was expelled from the next one (he studied poorly, trouble with mathematics), the headmistress angrily explained to me and my wife what a terrible boy he was. His wife tried to persuade him to leave — no way. She left in tears. And then I told her: “Stop! Who is this aunt to us? What is this school to us? We take the documents and that’s enough! He’ll be poked around here anyway, why does he need that?”
I suddenly felt wildly sorry for my son. Too late, he was already twelve years old. And before that, we, the parents, ourselves poked him after the teachers. «You don’t know the multiplication table! Nothing will come of you!” We were fools. We had to protect him.
Now he is already an adult, a great guy, he works with might and main, dearly loves his girlfriend, carries her in his arms. And children’s resentment towards their parents remained. No, we have a great relationship, he is always ready to help, because he is a good person. But resentment — yes, remained.
He never learned the multiplication table, so what? Damn it, this is «family of seven.» Protecting a child is all simple math, that’s the true «two times two.»
In the family, one must be able to scold. If one scolds, the other defends. Whatever the child learns
He will have so many more problems in his life. As long as he is with you, you must protect him from the world. Yes, to scold, get angry, grumble, how without it? But protect. Because he is the best in the world. No, he will not grow up as a scoundrel and an egoist. Scoundrels just grow up when they don’t like children. When there are enemies around and a little man is cunning, bustles, adapts to a bad world.
Yes, and in the family you need to be able to scold. It’s to be able to. I knew one wonderful family, my friend’s parents. In general, they were noisy people, just like from Italian cinema. They scolded their son, and there was a reason: the boy was absent-minded, he lost either jackets or bicycles. And this is a poor Soviet time, it was not worth scattering jackets.
But they had a holy rule: if one scolds, the other defends. Whatever the son learns. No, during conflicts, none of the parents winked at each other: “Come on, stand up for protection!” It happened naturally.
There should always be at least one defender who will hug the child and tell the rest: “Enough!”
In our families, the child is attacked together, en masse, ruthlessly. Mom, dad, if there is a grandmother — grandmother too. We all love to shout, there is a strange painful high in it. Ugly pedagogy. But the child will not take anything useful out of this hell.
He wants to hide under the sofa and spend his whole life there. There should always be at least one defender who will hug the child and tell the others: “Enough! I’ll talk to him calmly.» Then the world for the child is harmonized. Then you are a family and your child is the best in the world. Always the best.