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Many of us still do not know what we will become when we grow up. But there are those who have long decided on the choice of profession — even despite the bewildered looks of others. We share their stories.
Doctor, accountant, builder — these professions do not raise questions for us. It is easy for us to understand the reasons why someone wants to become a designer or a journalist. Another thing is such specialties as thanatopraktik, instructor-figurant, painter of kozul. These are what our heroes chose. Why?
“One of the main reasons for choosing an unusual profession is a selfless love for work, when the choice is made not by the mind, but by the heart, and when, even in childhood, we understand what occupation captures us without a trace,” explains psychologist Valentina Polyakova. — Another reason lies in the desire to find their own kind and find yourself for real. And, finally, there are those who feel happy and in demand only in the area where there are no standard solutions.”
But to others, such a choice may seem strange and inappropriate.
“The incomprehensible is frightening, and friends and relatives can sincerely believe that by discouraging us from a strange profession, they are protecting us,” the psychologist explains.
However, it is difficult to move forward without support, and in trying to convince others, we often plunge into disputes that only increase mutual misunderstanding. “In order not to worry about loved ones and not lose your own confidence, just let them not understand, but do not try to be annoying at the same time,” suggests Valentina Polyakova.
— If you are asked to tell, tell in more detail about the reasons for your choice, if they do not ask, do not insist on a dialogue. If you are energized by what you do, then convincing someone that you are right is an empty job. Just mind your own business, and those around you, making sure that everything is in order with you, will eventually leave you alone.
We need not only self-realization, but also what comes with it. For example, the feeling of being in demand, the pleasure of one’s own achievements and the work done, the opportunity to leave a mark on history. “When we really do our thing, it inspires, and we are happy to do what we do, at all stages,” emphasizes the psychologist.
When we get involved in the process and do not devalue it by the pursuit of results, when we look at our mistakes not as a failure, but as an opportunity to learn something new and change ourselves, this is probably a calling. Our three heroes talk about how they found their life’s work.
“I help loved ones say goodbye to the deceased”
Oksana, 29 years old, thanathopraktik
Death has fascinated me since childhood. I grew up in a poor family and started working early. One day I saw an ad looking for an employee in a funeral services store. But they decided that this activity is not suitable for a teenage girl.
When I turned 18, I arrived in Moscow and in the apartment that I rented with my friends, I found a business card of a ritual agent. It turned out that this was my neighbor’s new boyfriend, I asked her to talk to him and the next day I went to work. And there I finally realized that I want to work with the body.
As part of my service, I often went to morgues, talked with orderlies, and asked questions. Many were surprised, but one of them showed how to do embalming, offered to try it herself. Everything worked out the first time.
Ten years have passed since then, today I have many individual orders. I am engaged in the complete preparation of the body for parting and cleaning the apartments after a long stay of the deceased there. Parents gradually got used to my choice. But when others find out about my profession and that I enjoy it, many consider it a mental disorder.
But this is not just a profession, this is my calling.
And without love, there is no way in this matter — just as without the complete acceptance of death. In our society, this topic is taboo. But I believe that ritualists and thanatopracticians serve the dead only by 50%. For the remaining 50%, we serve the living.
I talk with those who are experiencing loss, find out what the deceased was like and how they want to see him for the last time. I help to accept death so that it does not seem rude, disgusting, frightening. So that the relatives and friends of the deceased would not see on him either the grimaces of death or the traces of decay. And when I see that my interlocutors calm down and gradually begin to accept death, it means that I am doing everything right.
«I make pictures that you can eat»
Victoria, 39 years old, kozul painter
I was expecting my third child when I saw unusual white and red gingerbread fish on the Internet, and I wanted to give them to my children for the New Year. Then I learned that they are called «roes». I turned to the master, she answered: I do not accept orders. And I’m already on fire. I found the recipe, baked it, painted it. It was far from perfect, but I was so inspired by the fact that I did it with my own hands that I posted a photo on the site, and soon the first order came from there.
I’m a lawyer, but I decided to try while I’m on maternity leave
She persistently honed her skills: after putting the children to bed, she went to the kitchen and spent hours drawing, filling her hand, copying famous masters. I learned how to whip glaze of different consistency so that the drawing came out textured. My husband supported me, but my parents did not understand at all, they grumbled: what a whim, for a hundred rubles (the price of a gingerbread) to sit all night? But I was incredibly passionate, raved about gingerbread, I dreamed about it.
Two years later, I outgrew the masters I looked up to and began to invent something of my own. If I noticed a beautiful openwork fence on the street, I photographed the pattern in order to transfer it to the gingerbread. I never saw myself as an artist, but the icing awakened in me the desire to create.
As in any profession, there is a lot to learn here. For example, I take into account the humidity of the air (it affects the drying speed of the dough) and remember the quality of the ingredients, I do not change them to cheaper ones. And then the gingerbread will turn out beautiful, but tasteless.
I won a gold medal twice in baking competitions, now I teach and continue to make gingerbread to order. These cannot be bought either in stores or in coffee shops, this is a piece goods. And everyone who sees my work is surprised: these are paintings, not gingerbread! How can they be eaten? But the children do not ask about this — they take and bite off the “heads” and “legs” easily. And it makes me happy.
«I train dogs to protect their master»
Shamil, 52 years old, instructor-person involved
Like many Soviet children, I watched the films «Scarlet Dog», «Come to me, Mukhtar!», Read books about animals, it inspired me. Dogs have become something for me, without which it is impossible. In the third grade, I got my own sheepdog, her name was Nancy. And this dog was like those loyal and intelligent friends that I saw in the films.
I was lucky with the first teacher — instructor, who told about the inner world of the dog, taught her to understand. I started training Nancy on the court, and a few years later we were competing. I really wanted to go to serve in the army with her, but it didn’t work out. I served and immediately went to the kennel club, worked with dogs.
«Sluzhebnik» is a part of my life
For many years I have been an instructor-helper: I bring up dogs, I teach them not only to perform a set of obedience exercises, but also to protect their owners. For this work, I use special equipment: a suit or a protective sleeve so that the dog can jump on me and bite without causing harm. You need to train all dogs, regardless of breed and size, so that they know how to obey and know how to behave.
I feel excitement when it turns out to become understandable for the dog, to interest it. And the highest aerobatics is to learn to look at the world around you through the eyes of a dog. Relationships with each of my wards develop in their own way.
I am looking for a point from which the development process will begin, I try to interest in food, a toy, to involve in the process. And when I understand that the dog accepted me, began to respond to commands, was interested in training, I am sincerely happy. The greatest pleasure for me is to help the owner understand his dog, to suggest what his behavior, look says. Many people want their dog to become a great friend and a good protector.