Non-standard actions sometimes bring people together.
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Tourists in Japan could see how businesslike young people suddenly began to sing or read poetry just like that on the square. This is the training of managers to develop their self-confidence, the ability to behave without limiting themselves to the expectations of others, training «non-standard actions» …
For many people, evaluative dependence is a serious internal barrier. To acquire inner freedom from what others think, at a certain stage of development, is a worthy task. Inner freedom is lightness and looseness, it is the naturalness of behavior, courage and drive. Inner freedom is the ability to make your own decisions, the ability to ignore the opinions of others when it is irrelevant. How to develop such detuning from external control?
One way is to start training yourself to do extraordinary things. Individual training «non-standard actions» is to do things that are unusual for yourself and non-standard for others. Things are not harmful to anyone, often kind, useful, but I have never done that! Kind of scary! Scary!
The exercise of non-standard actions is work with limiting beliefs, with fear, this is training in confidence, this is training in courage, the ability to leave the comfort zone.
It will be even more difficult if these things and actions go against not only your habits, but also the expectations of others. If these are actions not according to a pattern, unexpected, strange, incomprehensible actions — such that “normal” (that is, those that fit into the norms, frameworks, standards!) People do not perform.
In psychotherapy, this practice is called the Exposure/Response Prevention Technique.
To overcome childish dependence on the opinions of others, come up with and learn to perform non-standard actions, but not through force, but with enthusiasm, with the spirit of freedom and mischief, feeling yourself amazingly smart, glorious and beautiful inside.
What could it be? Everything that is internally difficult and scary for you within the framework of your own physical safety, respect for others and compliance with the law.
In Soviet times, the future great physicist Lev Landau practiced inner courage by walking down the street with a balloon tied to his hat. Now it seems sweet and simple, at that time it was something out of the ordinary. Today, typical training situations: a pacifier in your mouth — and walking down the street. At the bus stop or in the subway, read aloud, loudly and with expression, the poems of Pushkin or your other favorite poets. In the subway car, start moaning in the style: “Forgive me, good people, that we are turning to you! We ourselves are local people, TAKE money from us as much as you want!” — and distribute small change to those who wish …
If you are scared, it is better to do non-standard actions in the company first. Together — fun, and not so scary …
If you are very scared, it is easier to start doing non-standard actions with an internal justification: “This is not just a nipple, this is a doctor prescribed to correct an overbite!” Poems to the crowd — I’m not fooling around, I’m a student of the drama club and I’m training. When you feel confident, you will no longer need any excuses. To whom to justify? Why justify?
You should not practice non-standard actions, because of which you may have any everyday troubles. Do not strain the policemen, neighbors and colleagues in the service — overly bold training of non-standard actions at work can damage your business reputation. It is important to remember that training non-standard actions is not the practice of hooliganism, you should not do things that will greatly strain others. And do not turn the training exercise into empty entertainment: when you realize that you have freed yourself from the fettering framework, stop shocking and get down to business.
Simple exercises
- Change the usual little things. You can try to go to work by a different route, change your usual daily routine, or go not to the store that is on the way, but to the one on the other street, to buy unusual food.
- Get to know someone. This is a very good way to get out of your comfort zone. It doesn’t matter where and how, the main thing is that the person is new to you.
- Find courses or trainings, clubs that interested you, but for some reason (and we already know why) you abandoned the idea of going there.
- Learn what you once wanted to know. Playing the balalaika, making rolls, cross-stitching — all these are excellent simulators for expanding your comfort zone.
- Read a book, watch a movie, or listen to music in an unfamiliar genre. Love rock, listen to jazz. Love melodrama, watch a thriller. Love prose, read poetry.
- Go on an unplanned trip. Don’t plan anything, decide everything on the go. You can get a lot of impressions and definitely expand your comfort zone.
- Go to a new unfamiliar place. To an unfamiliar restaurant and better still unfamiliar cuisine.
- Dress in an unusual way. If you are a girl who is not used to wearing dresses, buy and wear. Unusual colors, styles and new brands — all this is also in our treasury of simulators.
- Rearrange the furniture. Take a fresh look at your room and try to make at least a little rearrangement.
- Get on a bus with an unfamiliar route number.
Complex exercises (notes from the battlefield)
Instead of a detailed briefing, it is more convenient to provide documentary reports of those who took this training.
- Experiment 100 deeds. The impetus was the words of my coach, Natasha: “You think too much on the topic“ How is it right and how is it wrong. You just do it! On February 24 I started my experiment, on May 30 I finished it. Three months, almost 100 days. I learned to do what I was afraid or lazy. Results — Wow! See →
- Actions as creativity: I was afraid and did. In the subway: she sat on the handrail, then took a pen in her mouth and portrayed a woodpecker. She sang a delightfully passionate Spanish song about love, under the arches of the subway, the following words sound especially inviting: “Ku-ku-ru-kukuuuu …!” See →