Non-obvious harassment: how to identify and how to help the victim?

There is no exact definition of the term “sexual harassment” in Russian legislation, so this concept is vague. In the Criminal Code, there is only article 133 – “Coercion to act of a sexual nature.” However, if there was no violence as such, it is almost impossible to prove the fact of harassment.

However, it is important for us to know what is considered sexual harassment. Psychologist Nadezhda Kalmychkova is sure that this is the name of any act of a sexual nature committed against the will of a person. How to recognize them?

“It is important to understand that the main motives for sexual harassment are not directly related to the desire to meet, establish a relationship or get to know another person better. This is not flirting. Although often sexual harassment is indeed normalized in society with the explanation that indecent acts are a “compliment”, “recognition of beauty” or “a natural part of sexuality,” the psychologist explains.

At the same time, there are situations when harassment is not obvious – the victim does not feel safe, however, he cannot make claims to the offender, since there are no obvious signs of harassment.

“A person can resort to non-obvious harassment under the influence of psychological characteristics or mental abnormalities. That is, he cannot always fully control his actions. This does not justify him, but only explains his actions.

The main goal of the aggressor in this case is the satisfaction of his sexual desires, which he cannot satisfy in any other way. At the same time, in some situations, a person can act absolutely consciously, ”says the psychologist.

What is invisible harassment?

1. Frotterism (from the French frotter – to rub). In this case, the aggressor tries to casually snuggle up to the body of a stranger in a public place.
2. Ascension (from the English upskirt – lifting up the skirt). Photo or video filming of a person from below (under a skirt) or simply without permission.

In case of non-obvious harassment, the offender, as a rule, takes advantage of the situation: crush, limited space, street noise help him to remain unpunished. It also plays into his hands and the fact that the eyewitnesses of what is happening – fellow travelers, bystanders – are in a hurry about their business.

“In addition, it is often inconvenient for the victim to go against the rules of decency and polite behavior in transport or in other public places. In such situations, victims of harassment are often afraid that the reaction of others to their complaints will be ambiguous, ”Kalmychkova emphasizes.

What prevents the victim from recognizing harassment in time?

1. Shame and embarrassment. Society often does not accept mistakes and non-compliance with certain standards. As a result, many of us have a constant feeling that we are not good enough, do not meet other people’s standards. Therefore, if we find ourselves in an incomprehensible situation, it seems to us that the matter is only in ourselves, that we simply misunderstood the other.
2. Confusion In order to draw the attention of others to what is happening, the victim must raise a fuss, disturb the “public peace”, attract attention to himself. Few of us were taught behavior in non-standard, extreme situations, respect for ourselves and our boundaries. After all, many parents are still afraid to initiate “uncomfortable” conversations with children and adolescents.
3. The wines. Most often, we are taught that in a public place it is necessary to behave “correctly”, “decently”. At the same time, during upbringing, we are instilled with the belief that this is what will ensure our safety, and if something bad did happen, it means that we stumbled somewhere earlier. But this is not so: compliance with the rules is only the fulfillment of the requirements of social norms. But it does not guarantee complete security: we cannot control the actions of other people.

So, in cases of non-obvious harassment, it is difficult for the victim to speak loudly about the invasion of personal boundaries, but more often we are quite able to notice that the behavior of the initiator of harassment is undesirable. Therefore, you can try to stop the harassment if you see that:

• in a crowd of people, one person begins to “cruise”, constantly changing his location, choosing only, for example, girls and women;
• a passer-by casually touches an open or completely intimate part of the body of another person;
• on an escalator with free steps, the passenger clearly becomes “back to back” with others;
• someone in a dense crowd begins to twitch, spin, pull other people’s hands and change location.

“Often the offender feels safe precisely because of the opportunity to do something hidden. In addition, it can additionally turn him on, so if you see something happening that you think threatens the safety of another person, the easiest thing is to approach and openly ask the victim politely if everything is all right.

What matters is the reaction of the person. If everything is fine, the answer will be simple and unambiguous, without awkwardness and nervousness,” notes Nadezhda Kalmychkova.

You can learn to recognize sexual harassment even more effectively by using special training, which was designed by L’Oréal Paris. It will take no more than 15 minutes, and the knowledge gained will help you act correctly and clearly if you become a victim or a witness street harassment.