Her life, marked by equally grandiose successes and dramas, changed dramatically when Nicole Kidman turned 40. And, in turn, changed her. A new meeting with a world-famous actress who can disappear into her heroines, and a woman who is no longer afraid to disappear.
She now has a garden. And she cultivates her garden literally. Soon, as soon as she starts walking at all, little Sunday will be walking in the garden. Whose full name is even more sonorous — she is Sunday Rose, Sunday Rose. And her last name is sonorous — Kidman-Urban. She was born in July and looks like her father. Parents flatly refused to sell her photo to the press, which is so common among Hollywood stars — to earn a million or two on their offspring. But the mother of little Sunday… “Yes, I become a shaped lioness when it comes to my children! I scratch and growl!” — honestly admits Nicole Kidman. Which, in fact, is hard to imagine scratching and growling. Especially now, when she is peace itself.
She now has a new family in which there is no place for jealousy and envy. She has another little daughter. She has her own garden on a ranch in Tennessee, where she grows zucchini the size of … «The size of … the size of … yes, like that!» she opens her arms like an inveterate fisherman describing his prey. “We are even conducting an experiment: we don’t break one, but observe it. I wonder what other sizes it can grow to!
Nicole Kidman is reaping the rewards. This is a new phase of her life. Phase of prosperity and tranquility. But Nicole is such a person that calmness for her does not mean the absence of feelings, strong and deep.
Psychologies: Carrying and giving birth to a child — these sensations were completely new for you. What did you feel?
Nicole Kidman: These sensations … primitive, pristine, basic, or something. I mean both physically and mentally. It’s as if you enter into a dialogue with your own body, in a sense you split in two … You know, when a woman experiences miscarriages, then after each time she feels the uselessness of her body — something like a tube that has run out of toothpaste: there is no paste, why is he now … This pregnancy is a completely different experience: I finally needed my body for a real business, not for work, not for glossy photos, not for other people. I needed it.
That is, for you, your body is not yourself?
N.K .: Not exactly me. Not all of me. Pregnancy, in my opinion, is proof of the independence of the body. His ability… what is it called in politics? To autonomy! And I love it! I’m not talking about the fact that I didn’t really hope to go through such an experience: age … When I saw Sunday, then just a lump of flesh, on the screen during an ultrasound, I cried. Another person grows in you, yes, but the main thing is what is in you, that this is happening to you! I am not one of those who slide on the surface of life, I take root, experience, take it to heart. I am neither an observer nor a contemplator. I am a member. That’s why «pregnant» experiences are so important to me.
Which fell on the extremely difficult shooting of «Australia» in the wildest region of the country …
N.K .: Yes, the fact that I was pregnant, it turned out in the midst of filming. And we shot mostly in the vicinity of the tiny dusty town of Kunnunura, the scorching sun and +38 ° C — this is the norm there. I had terrible toxicosis, everyone puts on weight during pregnancy, but I lost. It was a strange feeling. Strange and unique: nausea and happiness. Simultaneously. And constantly. And we also filmed for 15 hours a day. But I told myself that I had to finish this film, that’s all. Should. Myself — because this is probably my main role for all these years. Baz and Hugh (Baz Luhrmann, director of «Australia»; Hugh Jackman, old friend and partner in the film. — Ed.) — because it is impossible to bring them down. Connor (Kidman’s 13-year-old adopted son. — Ed.) — because he worked on the set with horses, a real groom and a ranger, and this was his first job in his life, and he needed me to be there. Well, then, the walls helped me. Being at home is very important to me. Our red dust didn’t bother me! And it is especially small, it clogs into micron holes … My patriotism, probably, is of a chemical nature. I call it physiological patriotism — like a tree that can only grow on this soil, feed only on this water. Although, it would seem, I should have hated our climate — all my childhood I was a black sheep among tanned surfers, spending half their lives on the crest of waves in the vicinity of the Great Reef or, at worst, on Sydney beaches!
I even had a nickname — Heron. Naturally, because of the height, the length of the limbs and the stubbornness of my whitish skin, which did not want to sunbathe, but immediately burned to blisters. I also wanted to become an actress and began to play — it seems, at the age of five, some kind of pantomime in a children’s street theater — because I did not want to be myself. Especially as a teenager: it was painful to be me — thin and long, with terribly long arms and legs … I was even surprised when someone glanced at me twice …
Have you noticed that there are many coincidences in your current life? You come to Australia to play a wealthy childless woman who, once in Australia, experiences something of a spiritual renaissance. And here you will find out that you are pregnant, that a new stage of life begins, a new experience opens up for you …
N.K .: So Baz, my oldest and perhaps closest friend, said: pay attention, your heroine’s name is Saira, Sarah. And Sarah is a landmark biblical character: a barren woman who has lost all hope of having children, who suddenly miraculously, inexplicably becomes pregnant … I thought about it … But mysticism … No, this is some kind of kitchen mysticism — attempts to explain to the unknown, magical that happens to us. I like my sister’s version better. She has four children, and she says that she checked on herself: in a pregnant state, you attract happy people to you. And happy not by the circumstances of life, but by the properties of character, naturally able to appreciate what is, every moment of life, grateful to it. That is, apparently, there is a circulation of the energy of happiness in nature.
Another coincidence is also obvious: a lot of things in your life went smoothly when you broke up with Tom Cruise. It was after that that you proved that you are perhaps the brightest tragic actress in Hollywood, found a new love, Sunday was born …
N.K .: Tom has played a huge role in my life. It’s true. Maybe the very scale of this role was fatal for our couple? You know, I was thinking about this when Keith and I decided to get married. We met at Australia Days in Los Angeles. This is such a funny holiday when kangaroos are roasted, beautiful things made by natives are sold, and our songs are sung. It is called G’Day LA — from our traditional Australian greeting: instead of «Hi!» or «Good afternoon!» we say «Ji-day!», short for Good day. So, we met on G-Day, and I immediately felt that Keith is my man, we have a lot in common, we are both “from the other end of the world”, both took place in America, both are shy and we procrastinate … Keith also suffered from alcohol , and cocaine addiction, which he honestly admitted to me. Then he was treated, and now everything, God forbid, is in the past. But even then this news did not bother me at all. Because who, if not me, knows what a painful addiction is. I had one for love. In general, love — and love for Tom in particular — was a very powerful force in my life. This is probably my fatal vice and my main virtue is the ability to love like that. Before dissolving into another. Until disappearance.
Don’t you feel a similar dependence on Sunday? Will you disappear into a daughter?
N.K .: There is a danger. Becoming a mother at 25 or 41 is a big difference. At 41, you already somehow know life. And maternal feelings are sharper. In love for a child, there is more pain, more fear, more anxiety. I look at Sunday, and sometimes my heart just bleeds. I do not know why. No reason, but it is hopelessly scary. Fear becomes the inevitable flip side of love. And it extends to everything that is dear to you — before, I was not so afraid for Bella and Connor. No, love for a child, when you have already seen a lot, is completely different. You will always feel the distance between him and yourself. Always remember that you are not omnipotent. This is the biggest bitterness. Well, joy. Children are the only guaranteed form of eternity that is available to us … Who said that, do you remember?
Do you feel any difference between feelings for your own child and for adopted ones, whom you yourself did not bring into the world, but only grow up?
N.K .: I don’t know… I don’t know… Probably, if my daughter was born when Bella and Connor appeared in the family, I could answer this question. And now I don’t know. In my opinion, the age at which you become a mother is more important. I attribute the painfulness of my relationship with Sunday precisely to my age. Can physiology affect the quality of love? But that would be just awful!
Has your personal experience changed your attitude to love in general, to attachments?
N.K .: When I got married for the first time, everything unfolded quickly. We met Tom, and within a week I knew that I would marry him. With Keith it was different. For some reason, I wanted each of us to have time to realize that the other is also alone … And accept him into our lives. But I am the old me. If I want to be with someone, I want to be with him. If I love, then I have obligations. If I love, then I love. And that’s all.
It turns out that you live literally according to the words of the marriage vow: “in wealth and in poverty, in health and in sickness” …
N.K .: Well, that means it works! Happiness for me is not perfection or even an attempt to achieve it. Happiness is in recognizing the person who fascinated and intrigued and attracted you. In recognizing his funny features, shortcomings, weaknesses. Recognition of what binds you so much, what makes it unique.
Your older children are teenagers. There was no painful reaction to the appearance of Sunday?
N.K .: I was actually expecting the worst. But their reaction shows that I apparently didn’t terrorize them all that much. Although sometimes it seemed to me … You know, between my sister and my mother there were completely different relations. Our parents are very “leftist”, my mother was and remains, well, just a fighting squad of feminism! She tried to bring up fighting qualities in me. And I tried to “merge with the landscape”, to divert attention from myself. She again and again demanded decisive action, independence … My sister and I constantly defended ourselves, what is characteristic of us. It seems to me that Bella and Connor did not have to defend in themselves what is natural. And they always stick together, there is no rivalry between them, there is no self-affirmation in their relationship. And it didn’t even occur to them to see a competitor in Sunday. And then there is age. Is there anything more important than your own life at 13 or 16? Alas, we, parents, from this moment begin to recede into the past. I will survive this easier than others — thanks again Sunday.
Has your attitude to what is happening in the world changed since her birth? The economic crisis, for example, what do you think about this? Of course, it is clear that you are rich …
N.K .: I recently read somewhere on the Internet… In the Philippines, there is a tribe in the mountains. There people cannot send their children to school. Sending children to school costs ten dollars a year, which is very, very expensive for them. I think I have answered your question.
I.e?
N.K .: That is, I believe that we, in Europe, in America, in Australia, have nothing to even think about! And it’s not that I judge from the position of a wealthy person. We should not judge what welfare is at all. We do not really know real poverty: we were lucky to be born where we were born, we can say that we just won the genetic lottery and did not deserve such a win in any way. And at the same time, they also tend to whine at any opportunity!
Was there anything in your life that you regret?
N.K .: (She thinks.) …You can fight life. You can squirm and fuss, avoid questions and give too simple answers, argue that what is happening is wrong and unfair. But life has taught me: it is better to let it flow freely, as they say, to let go of the reins. Since I learned this, it has become easier for me to receive love and give it. And Sunday… A child, I believe, is such a blessing that we receive from life. And I will calmly say this in the eyes even to those who do not want to have children, who are now deciding whether to have: you should not shy away from the blessing.
Private bussiness
- 1967 June 20 was born in Honolulu (Hawaii, USA) in a family of Australians — nurse Jenil McNeil and biochemist and clinical psychologist Anthony Kidman.
- 1970 Kidman family returns home to Australia; birth of Nicole’s sister, Antonia.
- 1975 Debuts as the girl Grace on the American television show Saturday Night Live.
- 1982 Begins classes at the Sydney Theater for Young People and the Philip Street Theatre.
- 1983 Role in the Australian television series Under the Skin.
- 1984 Drops out of school due to illness of mother who is diagnosed with breast cancer.
- 1990 Marries actor Tom Cruise.
- 1992 Adopts Isabella Jane (b. 1992).
- 1994 Becomes a Goodwill Ambassador for the United Nations Children’s Development Fund (UNICEF).
- 1995 Adopts Connor Anthony (b. 1995); role in the film «To Die For …» by Gus Van Sant, «Batman Forever» by Joel Schumacher (pictured).
- 1996 «Portrait of a Lady» by Jane Campion.
- 1999 Eyes Wide Shut by Stanley Kubrick; for her role in the London play «The Blue Room» was nominated for a theater award. Laurence Olivier (Great Britain).
- 2001 Divorce with Tom Cruise; «Moulin Rouge» Lurman Base.
- 2003 «Oscar» for the role of Virginia Woolf in «The Hours» by Stephen Daldry; «Dogville» by Lars von Trier; «Cold Mountain» by Anthony Minghella; a serious personal relationship with black rock musician Lenny Kravitz.
- 2004 Becomes the «face» of Chanel perfumery; receives the title of Citizen of the World from the UN.
- 2005 Meets Keith Urban, country singer and Grammy winner, and marries him a year and a half later.
- 2006 «Fur: An Imaginary Portrait of Diana Arbus» by Steven Scheinberg; becomes a Goodwill Ambassador for the United Nations Development Fund for Women (UNIFEM).
- 2007 The Golden Compass by Chris Witz.
- 2008 Birth of daughter Sunday Rose; historical-national epic Baz Luhrmann «Australia»; filming Ryan Murphy’s «Need».