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Our editorial office received a letter from a frustrated mother of a boy suspected of having Asperger’s Syndrome. The woman has been trying to make a final diagnosis for years, and the problems with her child are constantly getting worse. The boy has difficulties at school, the teachers complain about him, and there are also aggressive behaviors directed against his mother and peers. Below we publish the letter in its entirety.
- Autism spectrum disorders are being diagnosed in an increasing number of children. Spectrum is not a disease but, to put it simply, a different perception of the world
- Asperger’s syndrome is one of the disorders of the spectrum. Such children often attend regular schools and are assisted by support teachers
- In the case of our reader’s son, it has not been possible to make an unequivocal diagnosis for four years, so the boy does not undertake appropriate therapy.
- On April 2, we celebrate World Autism Awareness Day
- More information can be found on the Onet homepage
Her son from kindergarten is “a bit asperger, a bit hooligan”
My kindergarten son is “a little bit”. A bit asperger, a bit of a hooligan, a bit of a child with sensory integration disorders and slight movement difficulties. This is a little crucial here, because if it is “a little”, it means that we are not entitled to any help. There is no special program for us, there are no such specialists who would tell us directly: please go here and here, we will do this and something else.
But from the beginning. Apart from the fact that as an infant he had increased muscle tension and we went to rehabilitation for several months, everything was fine with my son. He was a properly developing toddler, and then a beloved little one. Calm, quite polite, getting along with peers. Until he went to kindergarten. Suddenly the babysitters started calling me. On average, once a week I landed on the rug because he was rude, didn’t want to listen, didn’t follow orders, didn’t cooperate. I talked to him at home, read a ton of handbooks, and consulted a child psychologist on how to remedy it. It calmed down a little.
At the same time, it dawned on me that he was tiptoeing all the time, though he should have outgrown it by now. We went to the pediatrician who ignored the topic. And once more. And yet. Only the third time, when I was very stubborn, did we get a referral to a neurologist. We came across sensory integration classes again, in a package with rehabilitation, a speech therapist, and a psychologist. One meeting a month, while they should be about once a week to have some effect. But at the National Health Fund, we were entitled to only these one classes. If I wanted to arrange it privately, I would spend around PLN 280 a week. I couldn’t afford it.
In fact, despite regular contacts with specialists, little has changed. My son went to first grade. And then things started to get really bad. It turned out that he is not able to sit in the desk, gets up all the time, walks around the classroom, disturbs other children. Due to small motor skills disorders, he has huge problems with writing, he cannot write down from the blackboard, he does not understand the instructions in books. In addition, he loses accessories, books and notebooks, and even clothes. He is unable to concentrate for more than a few minutes.
The rest of the article is available under the video.
Nobody suggested that I should seek any particular kind of help. I found myself on the rug again or heard “Please do SOMETHING with it”, “it has to change”. From my friend, who is an occupational therapist, I heard ‘You know, he looks like a bit of an asperger’ to me. So I signed us up for a diagnosis at a psychological and pedagogical counseling center. Diagnosis (by a pandemic) took almost a year. End result: opinion. That she is a child with difficulties, requires help, individual approach, etc.
I thought everything would be better now. Teachers will understand that he cannot change “just like that”, that he needs their support and understanding. It quickly turned out that the opinion was of no value. If we had a judgment, it would be different. So how do you get a judgment? Wait three years, because only then will it be possible to make a diagnosis (at least I heard that, because apparently it does not work like that from the technical side).
The 9-year-old began to demolish the house and beat it
I signed up my son for therapy, and I also went to a specialist to know how to help my child. After a year, the therapist said directly that she did not know how to help us. At the same time, all negative behaviors intensified. My 9-year-old son could call me names (with curses that I don’t use at all), demolish the house, beat me and my classmates, talk to teachers, and even escape from lessons. In desperation, I contacted the clinic again, telling me what was going on. I was suggested to go under the diagnosis for autism spectrum disorder. If Asperger Syndrome is confirmed, there will be grounds for the ruling and a support teacher (who will sit next to my child and translate if he doesn’t understand something, etc.).
Diagnosis at the National Health Fund – deadline in six months. Privately – in two months, PLN 700. We went, it lasted 20 minutes. And again, it’s not an asperger, or a rogue. Certainly there are some disorders, there is definitely a problem and he needs help, but there is no “patch” that can be pinned on him so that he can get help. I’ve been looking for a diagnosis for four years and the situation is getting more and more difficult. I never thought I’d count on a diagnosis: asperger. But I don’t know which is more difficult anymore. Spectrum or life in ignorance, when a calm, properly developing child is clearly not coping and is completely let down by adults?
We encourage you to listen to the latest episode of the RESET podcast. This time we devote it to emotions. Often times, a particular sight, sound or smell brings to mind a similar situation that we have already experienced. What opportunities does this give us? How does our body react to such an emotion? You will hear about this and many other aspects related to emotions below.
Also read:
- He decided on the euthanasia of disabled children. Today his name has a completely different connotation
- Autism is a disease, and “strange” people have Asperger’s syndrome? We debunk myths about the autism spectrum
- Understand Autism