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Baby’s crying, inexplicable and inconsolable
It is disarming. Every evening at the same time, between dog and wolf, the toddler cries heartily, long and loud … its decibels (90 they say, like a jackhammer!). Doctors, very often consulted for these inconsolable crying of less than 3 months – the famous colic – feel helpless. And incompetent parents. “ Normal, he gets his lungs Say the fatalists. And the others, less understanding: ” It’s a whim! Let him cry, he will pee less … »
Baby cries… like a sonorous umbilical cord!
These tears, excessive and so difficult to understand, sometimes lasting three hours a day, nevertheless have a meaning. “ We have the feeling that they are part of this pathology of adaptation to ectopic life here reflects the baby’s survival imperatives, totally dependent on his mother », Explains Dr Bedouret. A small mammal so fragile that it has to force its cry very loudly to be heard, when the puppy or the kitten are content to whine weakly. “ It is through this sonorous umbilical cord that he lays the foundations for a tuning with his mother, essential to get by in this life. Especially before 3 months, the famous period of colic, when he is still very fragile », Explains Elodie Ballion. She runs “Crying Listening Workshops” in the Arcachon region, to teach young parents and also early childhood professionals to better understand and accept these manifestations of sound communication in babies under 18 months. “ Rich in meaning … and even hormones! “, she says.
A baby’s crying, tears full of … hormones
Studies conducted by Aletha Solter, an American biologist, student of Jean Piaget in Switzerland, with whom Elodie Ballion trained for these workshops, have shown that babies’ tears of emotion and tension were rich in cortisol and adrenaline, notably. However, these hormones testify to a body response to stress, while those which are triggered by mechanical attacks like a piece of onion or smoke, only contain water and salt. This shows the physical and emotional burden of these communication tears. Tears are a real way out for these hormones once they have finished playing their role in the body. Thanks to these scientific discoveries, we realize that‘we are far from whim or the simple need to unfold its pulmonary alveoli …
Baby’s crying, a demand for attention
Faced with this normal tears of adaptation, no medication, not even the breast or the bottle, even less the systematic pacifier to silence him! ” All of these answers are inappropriate. And these are just ways to control the crying, not to listen to it, comments Elodie Ballion. Like the famous rule of “let you cry gradually” for 5, 10, then 15 minutes … You have to be very careful about what the baby wants to say because there is always a moment when he catches the adult’s gaze to say “Thank you, you understand me!” In our workshops, we want to help parents to wait for this last look, to soak up, at the end of the emotional discharge, this overwhelming feeling of well-being in their baby. “” Either way, letting him cry depresses mom.. », Confirms Dr Bedouret.
Good ideas for passing the course: swaddling the baby in a suitable position – the thighs in a frog -, wear it in a scarf special or in the arms, while strolling, rocking him a little, lui gently massage the belly, sing and talk softly to him… Without assaulting him with stimuli that will irritate him more than anything else. We listen to him, it will cost us less energy than absolutely looking for a way to stop his cries. « And if you, Mom, have trouble staying the course, if necessary leave the room and ask Dad to take over while you recover a bit. And if it is really too difficult and you are worried, seek advice from a doctor or another health professional (pharmacist, nursery nurse, PMI staff, etc.) », Advises Dr Bedouret. “ This time of listening to the cries of the child, to say all about mothering, will become for you a real hygiene of life. It will decrease over time because the baby will need it less and less », Concludes Elodie Ballion.
Usually not serious crying
Not all crying should be interpreted as just a manifestation of the baby’s adjustment efforts. Some testify to real discomfort. They can be due simply to hunger, thirst, a dirty diaper, but also to particular stress, created by the environment (a radio that works too loudly, tensions within the family…). They can also be caused by temporary digestive problems, a stuffy nose, irritated buttocks, etc. You have to calm them down, but they should not alarm you. Especially if our baby eats and drinks, does not vomit, his stools are normal and his diapers are wet, and he does not have a fever. Or if, apart from this occasional bout of crying, he plays and smiles. And even if our child is a chronic angry and whiny repeat offender, but leads his little fellow on his growth charts, don’t worry!
Baby crying: how to recognize alarming crises
Other crying attacks are caused by illnesses, most often trivial, but which can sometimes be more serious and require an emergency consultation. Thus, crises that are too frequent and persistent, are often the expression of more or less severe pain, caused by diseases such as ear infection (especially at night, when lying down which increases the pain), pyelonephritis, bronchiolitis, etc.
In these latter cases, no risk of confusion because the child has other symptoms : fever, agitation or depression, plaques or pimples, diarrhea, vomiting, difficulty in breathing … If we suspect gastroesophageal reflux – very different from ordinary small regurgitations – which would be caused by an intolerance to cow’s milk proteins, the baby cries a lot, stiffening back, about an hour and a half after his meal, regurgitating profusely. He often refuses his bottles crying, and obviously has a lot of difficulty swallowing. But beware, this is far from always being proven, and before drawing this conclusion, the doctor must make the diagnosis himself. Because it is he alone who will decide whether the child needs additional examinations, to change milk, or to prescribe, possibly, specific drugs.
Very different are the violent crying attacks, up to the loss of consciousness sometimes, due to severe pathologies: for example a intractable constipation with occlusion, a strangulated inguinal hernia, an acute intussusception, a bone trauma, an anal fissure, neurological pain, a burn… ” These acute crying, really very excessive, paroxysmal, prolonged, require an emergency consultation », Explains Dr Bedouret. “ Paradoxically, just as serious are the attacks of very attenuated crying, when the child is pale, very limp, prostrate, and moaning … »