Life can pass you by if you do not turn your spirit to the perception of good and joyful things, instead of focusing only on life’s difficulties. And the main task of psychology should be understood as follows: to help each of us find balance, moving towards the positive. Its goal is to develop in us the ability to love and be loved, to see the meaning in our every action, to be responsible for what we are able to change, and resilient in the face of the inevitable.
The strict and reserved president of the American Psychological Association was discouraged. He bitterly admitted to his colleagues that only after reaching the age of 60 and making one of the most brilliant scientific careers of his generation did he hear from his own five-year-old daughter what psychological science should have devoted all its efforts to half a century ago.
It was in the summer garden: together with little Nikki, her father conscientiously pulled out weed stalks from the warm earth. My daughter did not want to work, she threw bunches of grass into the air, dancing and singing. Accustomed to order, the professor shouted at the girl — she was upset and ran away. But she returned a few minutes later: «Dad, I want to tell you something.» “Yes, Nikki?” “Remember when I was four years old, I used to whimper all the time? At the age of five, I decided never to cry again. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. And if I can stop whining, then you can definitely stop swearing all the time!”
In that moment, which University of Pennsylvania (USA) professor Martin Seligman called «an illumination from above», he understood the main thing: life can pass by if you do not turn your spirit to the perception of good and joyful things, instead of focusing only on on life’s difficulties. And the main task of psychology should be understood as follows: to help each of us find balance, moving towards the positive, as Nikki did, and completely independently*.
For about a hundred years, since the emergence of modern psychology, the definition of «mental health» has mainly been reduced to the treatment of neuroses, fears, self-doubt. Ten years ago, 90% of scientific articles in psychology were devoted to such phenomena as anxiety or depression. Psychiatry, based on a biological approach to human health, interprets the state of rest as the result of a uniform transmission of nerve impulses — an equilibrium that can be disturbed at any moment. In the understanding of classical psychology, each individual is nothing more than the result of the interaction of unresolved childhood conflicts, more or less subdued unhealthy instincts and forces of a biological nature, which he himself is not able to control.
The new psychology announced by Seligman takes a completely different approach. Its task is no longer to raise a person from a minus mark to zero on a scale of satisfaction with life, but to help him go through «zero» to the «plus» gradation.
The «psychology of positivism» is revolutionary because it deals with what can make a person happy. Its goal is to develop in us the ability to love and be loved, to see the meaning in our every action, to be responsible for what we are able to change, and resilient in the face of the inevitable. One excellent illustration of this new psychology is the international research program on the ability of Tibetan monks to consciously fill themselves with positive emotions. Using Buddhist practices, these monks are able to radically change the state of their brain, gaining feelings of peace and compassion, approaching the “territory” of happiness…**
For those of us who are not going to become monks, the first serious work in the field of positive psychology also opens up easier ways: for example, at least once a week, write down in a diary the most positive thing that happened to us during this time, noting also how we contributed to these events. Just six weeks (about the same time it takes to get the effect of taking an antidepressant!) and life will bring us much more pleasure***.
One of the most powerful findings of positive psychology is how important our connection with other people is. The famous American psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, who discovered the phenomenon of “absorption in activity”, called “flow”, notes: “People are happiest when they are in the company of their own kind. The worst thing a person can wish for himself is to be at home in peace and quiet, without particularly urgent work and affairs. But most people are sure that they dream about it!” The simple pursuit of pleasure, Seligman argues, does not lead to a sustained sense of well-being. Happiness gives only a state of involvement (in love relationships, family life, work, existence in society …) or “meaningfulness of our own activity” — when we use our best features and abilities to act for the benefit of others.
And yet the most important idea of the new psychology is best explained to us by little Nikki: in each of us there is a natural ability to be happy, and, by and large, it is up to us to decide whether to give it a chance to become a reality for us.
* M. E. P. Seligman, M. Csikszentmihalyi. Positive Psychology: An Introduction. American Psychologist, 2000, vol. 1 (55). ** A. Lutz, L. L. Greischar et al. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the USA, 2004, Vol. 101. *** R. A. Emmons, M. E. McCullough. Journal of Personality & Social Psychology, 2003, vol. 2 (84).