What to do with the aggression that wakes up in us towards migrants? Is it possible to cope with emotions and not succumb to the logic of “us/them”? Commentary by an existential psychologist.
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- “I want to be among you and not be afraid of evil”
Odry-nety: I really want to read the competent comments of professional psychologists on this plaintive article! Because I’m quite young and, thank God, I didn’t see the collapse of the Union and the horrors that other eyewitnesses describe, but even I have an unpleasant experience with migrants: a migrant stole my bag (when I wrote a statement to the police, I was asked: Uzbek or Caucasian , and I don’t even know – what, I looked at him?). I still can’t forgive him in my heart, and, of course, anger extends to those women with many children who walk around pregnant with their fourth child, when Russians can hardly afford to provide for themselves and one child. It is clear that policy must change from above. But how can we, ordinary people, psychologically live in conditions that are clearly uncomfortable for the majority?! Please, Psychologies, give advice! I really don’t want to feel negative emotions about this.
Natalia Dyatko: Dear odry-nety, You are asking for comments on a “complaining article”. She touched me, of course. A lot of feelings, a whole tangle: resentment (that everything is as it is), bewilderment (how it was even possible to allow all this), anger (because it seems that this problem is not being solved at the state level), fear (for life: one’s own, children, others). And all these feelings are so strong… Because it’s not about the fact that I just DON’T LIKE all this, but about security, about the very possibility of BEING. And it’s so strong that I almost found myself embroiled in the game “Who is to blame?”. And she is meaningless. It has no winners. The words from Maysara’s letter brought me back to myself: “Evil has no nationality.” Very accurate. And then I took a closer look at myself. And here began the sanitation of their own psyche from these nationalist sentiments. I can’t do anything at the level of government decision-making on these issues. Yes, I can’t, because I won’t go to the “marches”, all the more so to the “barricades”. I have other tasks. And someone will go and in such a way inherent in him will “solve” this problem. What is (the situation with migrants) is a reality, a framework in which I must build my life. And I carefully look at what is at risk, what and how I should protect in my life. Where should you be vigilant? I look very, very carefully and call honestly by their names. And then suddenly, with surprise, I discover the following facts. Recently, Uzbek sellers have never deceived me at the market, and Slavic-looking sellers – 3 times. Tajik scavengers politely greet me at the entrance every morning. An Armenian shoemaker repairs shoes flawlessly and inexpensively. But after all, I also greet them, and I ask with a smile at the market about the difference between Tajik and Turkish figs … In other words, I find myself standing / walking / being in what I myself bring into this world. And I still have to “meet” what comes from other people, and “catch” it. Danger, hostility can come from anyone. It cannot be underestimated. So, do not ignore caution and vigilance. Because when trouble happens, it will not matter at all what nationality the offender or criminal was: “evil has no nationality.”