What is the difference between narcissism and inflated self-esteem? It may seem that there are no differences – just two words denote the same quality. However, experts assure that there is a difference, and a fundamental one.
Narcissism is often perceived as inflated self-esteem. But, according to experts, these phenomena have different causes, they develop and manifest themselves in different ways and lead to different consequences.
Although narcissists place themselves above the rest, this does not mean at all that they highly value themselves and that they are comfortable with themselves. In contrast, people with high self-esteem are quite satisfied with themselves, which, however, does not entail a feeling of superiority over others.
What’s the difference?
The difference between narcissism and inflated self-esteem is stated in the results of a joint psychological study conducted by specialists from the University of Amsterdam, Utrecht University (Netherlands) and the University of Southampton (UK)1.
Study leader psychologist Eddie Brummelman said: “At first glance, it may seem that these concepts mean the same thing, but in fact they are completely different in nature. Narcissistic people put others below themselves, which often does not prevent them from having a low opinion of themselves.
“Parents and educators should express their love for children and evaluate them, in no case putting them above others”
Usually, those who know their own worth appreciate those around them, do not show a dismissive attitude towards them, do not look down on them and do not expect praises addressed to them. Narcissists, on the other hand, strive for universal admiration, and if they do not achieve it, they easily fall into aggression and anger.
The authors of the study also believe that the high level of narcissism in children can be caused by constant praise: “Parents and educators should express their love for children and evaluate them, in no case putting them above others. By doing this, adults can help children feel happy and valued without comparing themselves to others and looking down on them.”
How to help a narcissist?
There are ways to help people with low self-esteem raise it while letting go of their narcissistic attitudes and beliefs.
“To save people from narcissism and unreasonable feelings of superiority over others, for example, you need to invite them to think about what makes them like others. You can also ask them to explain the meaning and meaning of the kind words they hear from others in order to raise their self-esteem. This is helped by the ability to accept the same compliments, and the recognition and awareness of the value of others.
Eddie Brummelman notes: “Distinguishing between narcissism and inflated self-esteem is important for working with the right groups of people. Over the past decades, Western youth have become much more narcissistic. It would be useful to help them curb this quality.