Each of us wants to be appreciated and understood, even when he is in a bad mood or doing something wrong. To love just like that, and not for something. Think it doesn’t happen? Hypnotherapist Katherine Agranovich is ready to reveal the secrets of unconditional love.
We experience this feeling when we look at a newborn child, a blooming rose or the sea surface. They are so beautiful that there simply cannot be claims and requirements for them.
However, maintaining this blissful feeling is not so easy. Especially when it comes to a living person with his shortcomings, mood swings and mistakes. Even a baby doesn’t seem so charming anymore after a few sleepless nights. And tired parents have neither the desire nor the strength to look at this cute creature. On the contrary, they want to hide from him and rest.
We feel embarrassed when something annoys us in loved ones.
But everyone talks about unconditional love. We are told: you must accept friends and colleagues with all their oddities and shortcomings, love your husband and parents for who they are. And we feel embarrassed when something annoys us in loved ones. Sometimes we notice that friends or relatives also do not accept us unconditionally — mom does not like your habit of biting your nails, your son considers you too nervous, and your husband is angry with the passion to constantly put everything in its place.
The ability to love is certainly not given from birth, but it can be brought up in oneself. Start with unconditional self love. To do this, you need to learn how to generate your own stable and lasting feeling of happiness.
From my own experience, I realized that love and happiness are just a game of the mind. If we decide to be happy, we will be happy. We scold and underestimate ourselves — happiness will bypass us. And this belief is confirmed by the science of psychoneuroimmunology, which studies the connections between psychological processes, the nervous and immune systems. Our thoughts largely determine our feelings, and emotions determine our actions and their consequences.
If we want to perfect the art of unconditional love, we must learn to generate positive thoughts. To do this, you need to regularly say something joyful and inspiring to yourself. This will lead to the production of happiness hormones in the brain, and we will feel great and do something good and useful. Even if something doesn’t work the first time, positive thoughts keep us trying again and again until we succeed.
You need to regularly say something joyful and inspiring to yourself. This will lead to the production of hormones of happiness
Here are some examples of positive thoughts:
- “I do everything right” is how you tell yourself that you are a perfectly imperfect person who learns from your mistakes and tries to grow and develop.
- “I am strong enough and skillful enough to cope with the difficulties that come my way. I feel that I have a huge strength inside me that will help me overcome difficulties.
- “I never lose because life teaches me all the time and gives me a chance to correct my mistakes. And I realize that when I stop judging, criticizing, underestimating and hating myself, I begin to move forward. I must stop torturing and scolding myself in order to fill my heart with the light of unconditional love.”
- “I don’t have to prove anything to anyone. I already deserve unconditional love.»
- “I am constantly learning and becoming the best version of myself. I try my best. I can be happy because happiness is a game of the mind, and I know how to control it.
Unconditional love is real, but it is locked away in the depths of our minds. It depends on us whether we can bring it out and become happy. And when we unconditionally love ourselves, we can move on to the next stage — unconditional love for others. And you need to start with the same — with positive thoughts.
About the Expert: Katherine Agranovich is a hypnotherapist and author of Tales of My Big, Noisy Religious Family.