When you are in a relationship, a decrease in sexual appetite can be felt in either partner. It is not necessarily synonymous with lack of desire, but often a lack of spice or a routine too installed. How to rekindle the sexual flame within the couple?

There are several reasons that can lead to decreased sexual appetite. Libido varies over days and moods, and is heavily influenced by our emotions. Thus, if we are going through a bad period, because of an emotional shock or a depressive state for example, it is not rare that the sexual desire is not in good shape. This does not mean that there is no or more love within the couple, but only that the person is too busy or is not in good spirits.

Likewise, hormones also affect libido. Sexual desire is felt physically, but it is controlled by our mind, and sex hormones have an important role in it. Thus, after childbirth, in the event of hormonal imbalance or following the taking of a contraceptive, it is possible that the sexual appetite varies greatly. Finally, an overly installed routine, the arrival of children within the family or a change of situation can also disrupt a couple’s sexual habits. 

Sexuality is an important parameter within a couple. Sex allows you to share emotions and thrills. When we make love, there is a strong bond between the partners, a kind of alchemy which binds the two beings and which allows to receive a significant dose of physical pleasure. This carnal contact allows both to meet our needs for affection and to prove our love for the person we love.

Sex is also good for your health. During sexual intercourse, and especially at the time of orgasm, our body releases hormones such as endorphins or dopamine. These provide a feeling of well-being throughout the body. Finally, making love helps to keep in shape, eliminate toxins and fight against certain cardiovascular diseases.

If both partners want to regain their sexual appetite, there are tips to revive the desire within the couple. Sometimes, when we have been in a relationship for a long time, the passion is exhausted and we forget the fusional feeling that linked us to the other. Do not hesitate to speak up and put some words into the trouble your partner is feeling: is it a lack of desire? If so, where does it come from?

The important thing is to focus on the pleasure and make time for sex. For example, plan romantic evenings, where you take the time to rediscover yourself and enjoy the body of the other, as with erotic massages. Of course, these tips only apply in fully consented relationships: this is not about forcing anyone to have sex, even within a couple. 

Thus, it is important that sex remains a source of pleasure for both partners. Making love shouldn’t be seen as a race for performance, and it is quite common for couples to go through more or less intense periods in their sex life.

If your partner no longer feels desire or does not feel the urge to have sex, it may be a bigger underlying problem. Indeed, as we have seen, our moods influence our libido. It may be wise to talk about it with a health professional such as a sex therapist, who will be able to guide you and define the origins of this drop in libido. 

Sexual games can be a fun way to spice up your relationship and bring something new to your sexuality. For example, you can slip into a person’s shoes for the duration of a scenario, by disguising yourself. Similarly, you can impose a blindfold on your partner, surprise him with an unusual connection to make love, or even offer him a new sexual position. The idea here is to get out of your sexual habits while making yourself happy.

Likewise, sextoys or sex toys can also make it possible to test new sensations for two. Whether it’s vibrators or vibrating eggs, there are models for all ages and all tastes, for men and women alike. There are also sextoys for couples, which can for example be controlled remotely, and which allow them to take pleasure simultaneously.