When we have problems, when we are anxious and something is not going well in relationships with loved ones, who do we turn to for help? Friends, colleagues often cannot, and are not obliged to understand our difficulties. A psychologist will help to look at the situation from the side, support, understand. The new section «My Therapy» introduces the stories of treatment to specialists.
In difficult times, we all need support, we are trying to figure out the reasons for what is happening to us and our family, we want to correct mistakes, change our attitude towards ourselves and towards life. How does turning to a psychologist allow us to look at the situation differently? How important is it to find «your» specialist? The heroine of the first story tells about this and many other things in the new section “My Therapy”.
Arina, 37 years old, doctor
When the family is at risk
I became interested in psychology at school. I read books, magazines, dreamed of becoming a psychologist. As a result, she entered a medical institute and received a different specialty, but her love and interest in psychology remained.
Many years later. I worked and got married. When the second child appeared, relations with her husband began to deteriorate. And then I returned to my old hobby again — I began to look for interesting posts on psychology on social networks, subscribe to therapists, watch shows on TV. Yes, I knew that many of them were staged. But thanks to them, I discovered a wonderful specialist.
I really wanted to get in touch with her. But she lived in another country, and then it seemed to me that it was completely unrealistic to work with her. Besides, she was too famous.
Although I didn’t manage to get into therapy with a psychologist, which I liked at the time, I learned a lot from her programs and posts. I realized that our fears, our attitude towards others are a reflection of our inner “I”, that many physical diseases are caused by our emotions and that there is such a thing as psychosomatics. In a word, she began to look more objectively, deeply at the situation in the family, at conflicts with loved ones.
Inspired by the discoveries, she decided to talk to her husband. We talked and admitted that we have problems and, apparently, they cannot be solved without the help of a psychotherapist. That was the first time I started looking for a specialist.
On the Internet I found a psychologist who works with the topic I need. The fact that I could make an appointment right tomorrow also played a role in my choice. First came to her with her husband, then I began to walk alone. Our communication lasted 9 months. Thanks to him, I realized that psychological problems affect the whole personality as a whole and it is necessary to cope with them in a complex way, referring to different aspects of the inner “I”. But many difficulties remain unresolved.
To be honest, I didn’t like the therapist very much. I can’t really explain why. Either something was wrong in her appearance, or my complexes prevented her from opening up completely, or she did not suit me in the manner of communication. But at first she did not attach any importance to this. I decided that medicine is not always sweet. And she continued to walk. Then the pandemic began, we were all quarantined, and the psychologist began to advise me on Skype. This format did not suit me: it is impossible to retire with two children. Thus ended my first therapy.
«My» psychologist
But during the quarantine, I had time to browse Facebook (an extremist organization banned in Russia), and I finally found a new psychologist. I started reading her posts, listening to live broadcasts, and I liked it! I learned that the psychologist also works in the method of positive psychotherapy. I subscribed to her and began to write comments under her posts, ask questions on the air.
Then I plucked up the courage and signed up for her online group. The psychologist, without knowing it, helped me increase self-esteem, work through feelings of guilt and shame, and become more relaxed. I learned a lot about family scenarios, about personality boundaries. And when she announced that she was giving a discount on therapy, I signed up for an individual consultation. While the child was sleeping, I called the psychologist and we talked. Already after the first session, I felt calmer, I realized that there are no unsolvable problems, everything is not so bad. Don’t panic, there is a way out!
And I also discovered what it is like to find “your” psychologist.
Now I’m thinking whether to continue therapy or not. The only problem is funds. I am on maternity leave and until I can financially pull regular consultations. Besides, I still have nowhere to put my youngest child. Probably, when he goes to the garden or there is an opportunity to leave him with someone, I will be able to find time for sessions.