“My relative believes in conspiracy theories: how to establish a dialogue with him?”

“My father’s heart starts to ache when he finds some supposedly secret information”

Valentin, 26 years old:

My father is an older man. About 10 years ago, he began to get involved in conspiracy theories. In general, I didn’t care about this: we have been living separately for a long time, I am not very aware of his whole life, and he is not aware of mine. I sometimes came to visit him, listened to some conspiracy of Masons, then left. Old people are often weird. But lately, conspiracy theories have been the main occupation in the life of a father.

When the pandemic hit, he not only brutally sabotaged the apparent spread of the virus, but also spent a lot of time trying to convince everyone of its absence. «This is a US conspiracy.» «The virus is designed to reduce the human population.» He finds all this information on the Internet on some strange sites where the same strange pensioners sit who share their findings with each other. 

I was very worried about my father. Firstly, he was at risk, so not wanting to get vaccinated and neglecting his life could end badly for him. Secondly, he constantly sent me some articles that proved him right. The happiness is that the father does not leave the house much — he simply has no time, as he googles news on the topic of conspiracies. Because of this, he never got sick. 

Father believes that the special operation in Ukraine is a conspiracy of Freemasons who want to destroy Russia. In general, I don’t care about political events, I just want my father to calm down and take his mind off the news. For example, take care of your health. Unfortunately, since he is retired, he has a lot of free time. All my attempts to establish a dialogue turn into a scandal that I am “stupid” and do not understand how everything in the world works.

Father is very nervous, his heart begins to hurt when he finds some supposedly secret information that is hidden from all of us. He does not move at all, does not go for walks, smokes a lot and does not lead a social life at all. I do not know how to establish a dialogue with him and stop being an enemy in his eyes.

Everything is complicated also because dad has his own channel in the telegram, where he posts articles about how everything really is. I am afraid that this will end badly, because now he can be imprisoned for fake information. I have no idea what to do.

“Sometimes relatives should recognize the reality in which an elderly person lives”

Victoria Lukonina, educational psychologist:

It is known that in the elderly, along with physiological changes, a number of psychological changes occur:

• decrease in self-esteem 

• manifestation of self-doubt and the future, 

• self dissatisfaction, 

• fear of loneliness, helplessness, impoverishment, death,

• increased irritability and pessimism,

• Decreased interest in everything new.

These changes are associated not only with human physiology, but also with a change in social status and position in society.

Also, in older people, as a result of diseases, damage and dysfunction of the brain, as well as in response to stress and adjustment disorders, mental disorders often develop. In such cases, relatives may observe a relative’s sleep disturbance, a persistent decrease in mood, increased anxiety, aggressiveness, excessive suspicion and the appearance of delusional ideas. Therefore, the first thing relatives need to show an elderly person to a psychiatrist.

But here, his relatives may encounter a persistent reluctance of the pensioner to voluntarily visit a doctor. Of course, it is worth trying to persuade him to devote some time to taking care of his health. At the same time, it is necessary to talk with an elderly person calmly, benevolently, confidently and simply — without using new, complex words and expressions.

If the desire of relatives to help meets insurmountable resistance, then it remains only to show attention, provide all possible assistance and support to the pensioner. 

With this scenario, relatives should recognize the reality in which an elderly person lives, learn to recognize, respect his opinion and view of the world around him. This will help prevent the emergence of disputes and contradictions in the relationship, which only aggravate the situation and cause negative emotional and physical reactions — both in the elderly person and in his loved ones.

If law enforcement agencies pay attention to the actions of an elderly person and consider them illegal, a forensic psychiatric examination will have to take place. In accordance with its results, his incapacity may be recognized, and then the possibility of providing psychiatric care on an involuntary basis will be considered. 

_{Text: Anna Vekshina}