“My optimism is enough for two”: the story of a mother whose daughter defeated cancer

Yulia Makovetskaya has a sonorous voice, a disarming smile and an immense supply of optimism, which, it seems, would be enough for at least two people. She will turn 27 in March.

Four years ago, Lera, Yulia’s daughter, fell seriously ill. At that time, the girl was only three. Acute lymphoblastic leukemia. Blood cancer. Julia shared a story about how she managed not to lose heart, and talked about what can become a support and add spiritual strength to parents who find themselves in the same situation.

Cancer fears optimists

“Having heard the diagnosis, I burst into tears from shock and helplessness, buried in the shoulder of Seryozha, her future husband. “So we will fight,” he said. And the marathon began, which lasted two years. We brought Lera to the Moscow Regional Oncology Center in Balashikha. The head of the department confirmed the diagnosis. And she immediately said: “Cancer is curable. Long, difficult – but treated.

Then I met the local coordinator of the Podari Zhizn Foundation, Yulia Demina. As a guardian angel, she surrounds with warmth and care all the children and mothers who find themselves in the oncology department of this hospital.

Somewhere I read a phrase that became my motto for these two years: “Cancer is afraid of optimists.” And I’m an optimist in life. And then I told myself that my optimism would be enough to cope with my daughter’s illness. And, of course, the support of my husband, parents, brother, friends and colleagues was invaluable to me.

Second expert opinion

I endlessly trust our oncologists who treated Leroux. But I always wanted to have a second expert opinion. I found contacts of oncologists from the Center for Pediatric Hematology named after. Dmitry Rogachev. I managed to get acquainted with Alexander Karachunsky. It was he who worked on the treatment protocol that pediatric oncologists use in our country today.

So I had the opportunity to consult with the best experts in this field. It helped me cope with the anxiety that came over me from time to time and the feeling of my own helplessness.

Ordinary miracle

After one of the chemotherapy courses, Lera’s legs gave out. Unfortunately, this sometimes happens. My daughter could not walk for six months, and I had to carry her everywhere in my arms. I found the best orthopedists in Moscow to show them my daughter. They were categorical – Lera needed spacers. At that moment, we heard about another charity project: “Dream with me.”

Lera then dreamed of getting on the stage of the Bolshoi Theater, getting to know the prima ballerina. Not hoping for success, we decided to take part in this project. But it so happened that the postcard, on which Lerin’s dream was described, was chosen by the governor of the Moscow region Andrei Vorobyov. And invited us to the theatre.

I brought my daughter to the Bolshoi, undressed, put me on a bench and asked: “Sit here while I change my shoes.” “No, Mom,” Lera said. With difficulty moving her legs, holding on to the railing with her hands, she herself went up the stairs. This is such a Christmas miracle! Then we watched the play “The Nutcracker”, visited the stage of the Bolshoi Theater and met a real prima ballerina …

How a Child’s Illness Changes Parents’ Lives… for the Better

Lera’s illness changed my life. In many ways – oddly enough, for the better. When the shock wore off, I pulled myself together. I did not know then that this period of time would become incredibly fruitful for me. First of all, I had to get behind the wheel to take my daughter for treatment from Khimki, where we live, to Balashikha, where the Moscow Regional Oncology Center is located. Now I can’t imagine my life without a car.

By my first education I am a software engineer, I graduated from the Moscow Aviation Institute. But she did not work a single day in her specialty. The fact is that the choice of the university was, in a sense, a foregone conclusion: I have a family of aircraft builders. But all my life I dreamed of dancing, teaching choreography to children. Therefore, having received one diploma, I immediately went to study as a choreographer.

During the time that we fought Lera’s illness, I received a new specialty: a social psychologist. If I dreamed about choreography all my life, then I became interested in psychology at that very moment. Then I realized that my inner resource was running out. I started reading books about motivation. Then I became interested in how our brain works.

It seems to me that it is important for parents not to forget about themselves, to continue doing what is interesting, to invest in their development and education, and not to go completely into the treatment of the child. It is worth finding positive moments even in this terrible situation, making plans for the future, setting new goals for yourself.

I never treated Lera like a sick child and did not blow dust off her. We tried to live a normal life so that our daughter would not feel left out. This, of course, required effort. But they paid off.

At some point, I realized that due to Lera’s illness, she could not go to kindergarten, communicate with her peers, and make friends. I must say that I have long hatched a plan to open my own children’s leisure center. And then next to the house I saw an empty room. Everything came together! We consulted with my husband (Seryozha and I got married a year after our daughter fell ill). And we decided to open such a center for Lera and other children from nearby homes.

I manage it and teach choreography here. Lera comes here to do gymnastics and prepare for school. And you know, I’m very happy.”

“Go to your dream, if you can’t walk, crawl, if you can’t crawl, lie in its direction”

Natalya Klipinina, psychologist at the Podari Zhizn Foundation

A serious illness of a child, unfortunately, does not choose which family – pessimists or optimists – to come. And the result of treatment, the outcome of the disease, of course, does not directly depend on this. But the treatment of oncohematological diseases is a long, multi-stage process. Each participant in the treatment (children, parents, doctors) has their own important and urgent responsibilities.

It is important to be able to mobilize, calculate and replenish your strength, without feeling guilty about the rest. Try to get pleasure from pleasant moments. Be able to learn and analyze what is happening, be grateful and cooperate with others. All these qualities in any situation allow you to do the maximum possible for the successful treatment of the child. And they make us emotionally stable in the most difficult times. This is what the experience of the family of Yulia Makovetskaya teaches.

In our society, you can hear anything about a child’s illness. For example, that this is a test, “punishment”, “cross”. But it’s great if the family, thanks to the support of loved ones, manages to treat this period as an experience. An experience that can teach a lot, help to make a lot of discoveries in oneself, a child and others, push to something important.

For example, he will give strength not to be afraid of the unknown and his desires, to appreciate loved ones and the time spent with them, will reveal our strengths and capabilities, and will also become an example: he will give hope to other families in which children are also sick and undergoing treatment.

During the period of treatment, it is important for the child and his entire family to maintain as much as possible the rhythm and mode of life that was before the illness. The child – to continue to study, play, learn something new, communicate with friends. Parents – do not forget about yourself, your life and interests. Now hospitals have all the conditions for this. Including thanks to the support of foundations, hospital schools, and the help of volunteers.

I would like to wish faith and hope to all families in which children undergo treatment. And do not lose the ability to dream. Go to your dream, if you can’t walk, crawl, if you can’t crawl, lie in its direction. This is a very powerful resource for recuperation and the feeling that life as such goes on.

Text: Natalia Gridneva