Contents
Suddenly – even for themselves – they go from laughter to tears, from emotion to anger. Relatives often consider them quick-tempered or unhealthy people. But why are their moods changing so drastically?
Faced with failure or experiencing loss, any of us grieve, feel sadness, despair. But for some, such states occur for no apparent reason and can last quite a long time, expressed in a loss of interest in life, fatigue, and drowsiness. Their mood can change frequently, sometimes several times a day.
“It happens that the morning starts well,” says 30-year-old Nina, “it’s easy on the heart, and suddenly gloom comes from somewhere. Everything annoys me … and after a few minutes it passes, as if it had never happened!
reality principle
A person with mood swings is called a cyclothymic. “This instability is manifested in emotions and in behavior. Irritability, accelerated speech, excitement or excessive pessimism during the day or week are replaced by opposite states, ”explains clinical psychologist Alexander Tkhostov.
Cyclothymics find it difficult to control themselves, they tend to explode when faced with the slightest obstacle. A traffic jam or a broken washing machine is enough to make them angry. Such susceptibility indicates a person’s inability to endure frustration – an emotional state that occurs if the situation gets out of control.
“These fickle adults are like children who do not yet know how to take into account the principle of reality and show patience on the way to the desired goal,” adds clinical psychologist Gilles-Eric Lenanger-Molyneux.
“It was like two people lived in me”
Olga, 37 years old, advertising specialist
“My mood swings began at the age of 17. I woke up in a great mood, at breakfast I started to sob, during the day I was active, and in the evening I fell into apathy and did not understand the reasons for my condition at all. Since then, I periodically experienced something similar, especially in the spring. By the age of 25, my friends called me hysterical, my colleagues considered me unbearable. I was afraid that everyone would turn their backs on me. I’m tired of having two different people living in me. I decided to consult a psychologist. Meetings with him were painful for me at first, but as a result, I realized that my cyclothymia originated in childhood, when I was separated from my parents for a long time, without explaining the reasons. Understanding this helped me regain control of my emotions.”
Children’s frustration
“Cyclothymia is facilitated by a situation in which, in early childhood, the mother alternately keeps the child in excessive proximity (almost in symbiosis), then pushes him away from herself,” notes Alexander Tkhostov. – As a result of fluctuations in her mood and behavior, it is difficult for a child to learn to endure frustration, to become independent. In his psyche, as it were, there is no middle ground: everything that happens to him, he perceives polarity – as absolute happiness or extreme unhappiness.
loss denial
Such changes are not only difficult for others who do not know what to expect from cyclothymic, but above all complicate life for him.
“When a son doesn’t obey or a husband starts arguing, I often can’t control my emotions, and I don’t understand where they come from,” Zhanna, 43, complains.
Do not blame yourself: psychological trauma may be hidden behind such behavior. The death of significant people, separations, combined with a family prohibition on experiencing sadness and grief can lead to cyclothymia. If a child was considered “too sensitive” and called a crybaby for showing emotions, then as an adult, he may experience periods of depressed mood, accompanied by guilt.
What to do
Get away
If you suddenly feel unexplained longing or irritation from scratch, try to understand what caused them. Understanding the cause of your frustration, assessing how significant it is for you (on the scale of your entire life), this will help you take control of your emotions.
Find an outlet for your emotions
Yoga, qigong, martial arts and breathing exercises will help you realize your own strengths and bring body and soul into harmony. You will learn to remain calm, find inner balance and not lose your presence of mind. These practices release feelings of isolation and help you connect with other people.
accept yourself
The need to meet a rigid standard of success increases apathy and depression. By accepting yourself in any mood and developing inner independence from social rules, you can gain strength and peace of mind.
Tips for others
If among your loved ones there is a person whose cheerfulness is replaced by periods of longing, try to be patient. Don’t exacerbate the situation by expressing your anger or rejecting the cyclothymic: he is already prone to self-flagellation, and any remark hurts him. Maintain dialogue. Tell him about times when his behavior has hurt you. It is important that he realizes that you are not to blame for the obstacles that he faces, so he is interested in revealing the true reasons for his behavior.