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With Sophie Tournesac, psychologist in Paris, who practices play therapy in particular. His site: https://lesenfantscreateurs.com/
A true commander-in-chief
In the schoolyard, everyone must follow him, from the top of his 6 years: his games, his rules … At home, same chorus with his little brother or his little sister, on whom our eldest wants to impose his law . But in fact, the child suffers, since his social relations suffer and his playmates try to resist his authority.
A space problem?
“Such behavior hides a fragility, details Sophie Tournesac, psychologist *. He can sometimes express a difficulty in finding his place within his family. The arrival of another child, after having lived several years with the full attention of his parents, upsets the representation that the elder has of him and creates jealousy that is complicated to manage. And in the schoolyard, the problems encountered at home are expressed! In some cases, it can also be a difficulty in dealing with frustrations. The little girl or boy then finds it difficult to give up their first two or three years of life, where the feeling of omnipotence lived in them. This attitude reveals a fear of losing control. In fact, the “little chefs”? “These are often children who have poor self-esteem,” adds the psychologist.
Authoritarian child: how do you manage?
We help him tame his emotions
Faced with a small chef, we can help him tame his emotions: recognize and name what he feels, teach him to identify his anger and unload it on a pillow, for example. Sophie Tournesac also recommends developing her empathy towards him, so that in turn, he understands the feelings of his friends … “Role-playing games can allow the child to get off center,” she assures us. If his need to dominate seems to come from a difficulty in finding his place in the family, we take care to differentiate the children, to grant them moments alone and unique activities.
By giving them differentiated attention, we also develop their ability to relate to others. So “the key is to give them a feeling of internal security,” explains Sophie Tournesac.
What if it was the spirit of competition?
His desire to dominate, to be the best, can also come… from us. “On the parents’ side, we have to learn to take a step back. Watch out for injunctions! Pressure for the child to be first in the class, for example… ”, emphasizes Sophie Tournesac.