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Your child doesn’t like hugs anymore, don’t worry!
Cuddling your baby at any time of the day is one of the privileges and pleasures of any young parent. Moreover, these moments of tenderness are essential in the development of the relationship with your little one.. Much to the chagrin of parents, there comes a time when the child no longer accepts these onslaught of cuddles. As Madeleine Deny, an education specialist, explains, it is a classic behavior in young children. And for good reason, growing up, the toddler asserts his temperament. Some will be affectionate, others much less. But above all, “around 2 years to 2 and a half years, toddlers feel a need for autonomy, the desire to detach themselves”. This attitude, which can be frustrating for parents, is nevertheless a sign of good mental and physical health. Indeed, the fact that the child rejects this excess of tenderness shows that he is not in lack of affection. In addition, your baby expresses his desire to explore the world around him. Your kisses become a hindrance to his quest for discovery. In addition, at this stage of development, “the reunion can be disturbing for the young child”. He has trouble understanding his emotions. It is by refusing contact that he expresses himself. No wonder he ignores you when you pick him up from the nursery. “At this age, he begins to take his marks on his own and the embrace is no longer so natural”, indicates Madeleine Deny.
Do not force your child
Faced with this indifference, the first instinct of parents is often to take their child by force in their arms. However, according to the specialist, it is really the thing to avoid at the risk of pointing it in the long term. Indeed, these refusals are temporary and in no way mean that your child does not love you. All the more so, since “he can refuse hugs for very basic reasons like the itchy cotton candy”. Do not force him either if he refuses physical contact with an uncle, neighbor or stranger. It is important to respect the limits that he sets for himself. At this age, “we don’t really talk about the notion of politeness. This will be learned later, at times when kissing the other will be a pleasure again, ”emphasizes Madeleine Deny. Another attitude to avoid: making each refusal an event. It will only become more interesting for the child, which will enhance his value. Refusing the bestowals will then become a game. So it’s up to you to ignore it and let it come back to you. Finally, comparisons of the type “your big sister is cuddler than you” are to be avoided. “Sticking labels on each sibling can have lasting consequences.”
Giving affection through play
Some kisses, like the one at bedtime, are part of the ritual. It is therefore important to stick to it. If your child won’t let you kiss her, start a game. Every evening, invent a new kiss, one on the foot, hand, forehead… “It’s a way of restoring this moment of tenderness through play, and not through obligation. », Emphasizes Madeleine Deny.
Some little ones also tend to type or say words like “I love you more!” “. In fact, “it’s a way of telling their parent I exist and you exist. At such times, the child should be reminded that his hands should above all be used to make gentle gestures, a caress on the cheek for example. As for the vocabulary, it is so restricted at this age, that one should not pay attention to this type of words which often mean their opposite … “