Your 15-year-old son came home drunk from a party on Saturday evening, and a week later a half-empty bottle of vodka was found in his bag… Comment by child psychologist Ekaterina Murashova.
Teenagers are increasingly tasting drinks of different strengths, mixing alcohol with energy drinks, competing in the ability to “get drunk on the trash” in a minimum of time. At age 15, almost 13% of boys and 9% of girls drink alcohol at least once a week.1. Many parents feel uneasy when they notice that drinking on Fridays is becoming a habit.
Understand what he can’t handle. “The reasons for the passion for alcohol can be very different,” explains child psychologist Ekaterina Murashova. Perhaps your child reacts to stress this way. From all sides, teenagers hear: “You must!” He must study, he must reckon with others, he must make choices and be responsible for it … ”Another reason is that alcohol facilitates communication, especially with the opposite sex. And modern teenagers can not stand boredom, they are looking for new thrills to feel alive. But whatever the reason your child drinks, it’s important to understand that what started out as a challenge and a boundary test, or as a small dose to relieve tension, can turn into regular drinking, which is already akin to an addiction.
Read more:
- How to talk to a teenager about alcohol
Make a plan of action and enlist the support of family members, teachers, a psychologist – anyone who you think can help. “Include in your plan everything that will change the circumstances of a teenager’s life,” advises Ekaterina Murashova. – These can be tempting offers (work with earnings, travel, creativity) and meeting new people who are passionate about some business. Change the usual style of communication to the opposite: lectured – stop doing it, were soft with him – act tougher. In extreme cases, you will have to change schools or even move. Better erroneous actions than an empty hope that “everything will work itself out.”
Talk to your teenager. Say directly what worries you, what you see as a danger, how you will fight with it (not with a child), and who supports you. Explain to him why you are doing this: it is important for you that the child respects himself and others, does not lose his dignity, and does not make serious mistakes under the influence of alcohol. If he continues to drink, tell him why it is unacceptable to photograph drunken friends, what is dangerous for well-being mixing drinks, how to act and who to contact if someone has an alcoholic coma. “Adolescents are often ready to cooperate with their parents,” notes Ekaterina Murashova. They don’t like what they do, but they don’t know how to change it. If the teenager resists, firmly implement your program. And when the world around changes, the behavior of a teenager will also change. In the new reality, alcohol may well become superfluous, and there will be another solution for the problems that caused it.”
Ekaterina Murashova, author of books for parents, including – “Love or educate?” (Scooter, 2014).
1 According to the World Health Organization Regional Office for Europe, 2012.