“My baby was born premature”

“It was weird, I felt like I left a piece of me in the hospital.” Bastien, Arthur’s dad, 15 months old.

“Arthur was born on August 31, 2015, a month and a half too early. The pregnancy went relatively badly: my partner had pyelonephritis, a serious kidney infection. Suddenly, the risk of prematurity of the baby was very clear from the start. We knew that our child was in danger of being born too early. My partner had to remain lying down, because her cervix was open to 2 cm, and this during the last four months of pregnancy. Despite everything, she had trouble staying in bed… One day when I went to the mountains with a friend, she called me to tell me that she had lost water. As she sometimes had urinary leaks during her pregnancy, it was not believed right away. Eventually we went to the hospital, where she was first kept for observation.

And then, on the third day, August 31, she gave birth, vaginally. As the team was reassuring, I had no real concerns about Arthur’s health, especially since ultrasounds had been done very regularly. The mother also had an injection before giving birth to develop the baby’s lungs. Everything went very quickly, the epidural did not even have time to take effect. Arthur came out with the cord around his neck, his heart had slowed down a lot. The doctors put him on his mother for a whole quarter of a second, then I took him straight to intensive care, with an intern by my side. At that moment, I hadn’t yet realized that he was really there, the feeling was strange. From a dad’s point of view, it takes a little while to realize that the little being that we felt moving in the belly of his companion is right in front of us for real. He remained in neonatal care for a few days. He was connected everywhere. He was fed with a probe in his nose, connected to a syringe filled with milk. It was quite confusing to feed your child by pressing the ” start ” button on the syringe pump …

I have forged a strong and mothering relationship with my son

To see him like that, it wasn’t a long timer. But beyond the intimidating and not very reassuring side of seeing it equipped with all these probes, the happiness was indeed there! Fortunately, after a week, he began to feed from the breast and from the bottle. He was then put into a kangaroo unit, where mom and baby sleep in the same room.

I went there all day, but had to come home at night. It was weird, I felt like I left a piece of me in the hospital. The positive point of the story is that the return home was super serene as we had learned so much in the kangaroo unit. Since then, I have forged a strong and mothering relationship with my son. But my partner is gone. Now, we put this episode in a drawer, since Arthur is doing very well. He even begins to walk, holding onto the furniture. In short, life goes on! ” 

“I felt like a mother when I was able to take my baby skin to skin.” Laurie, mother of Lenzo, 8 months old.

“We are December 29, 2015. I am 34 weeks pregnant, and bedridden for a month already. Like every week, the midwife visits me and monitors me. At first, everything is fine, and then the baby’s heartbeat slows down sharply for 6 long minutes. She calls the hospital, which is waiting for us, and tells us to take only what is necessary. I am put back under monitoring, and the baby’s heart is not getting better. Quickly, the decision is made: the gynecologist tells me that I must give birth immediately by cesarean section to get the baby out as quickly as possible. I barely have time to see him when he is born. In respiratory distress, he was transferred to another hospital, 1 hour 30 from our home. I cry when I see the incubator go away. Two days later, I was finally given the green light to join him. Arrived at the hospital, my anxiety rises: haven’t they exchanged the babies? Will he recognize me? And me, will I recognize him? Finally, it is obvious. I may only have seen him for a few minutes when he was born, but I have etched his face in my memory. He is surrounded by machines and pipes that come in from everywhere, an oxygen mask takes part of his face, but I can make out his features. On entering my room, I burst into tears. I am far from everyone and my baby is not healthy.

Despite a few hiccups, everyone ends up finding their place!

When I return to him, I dare not leave him for fear that he will feel abandoned. The nurses kindly force me back to my room to rest. And then finally comes the big day: a nurse invites me to take my baby against me skin to skin. Delicately, she lays it on me. It’s an indescribable feeling! At that moment, I finally felt like a mother. For me, I did not give birth on December 29 but on January 1, thanks to this physical contact. The dad also had the right to this unique moment. Over the days, then weeks, his health improved. Here we are in a parent-child room! How good it is to be together without ever leaving each other! But I still cry. The medical team supports me, the baby is gaining weight and making progress. So much so that the pipes disappear! After two and a half weeks in neonate ‘, we are back home. However, everything worries us: his temperature, his breathing, everything! Despite a few hiccups and some trial and error, everyone ends up finding their place. Today, our son is 8 months old, is in great shape and doing very well. He’s a big guy, you wouldn’t think he’s premature! For my part, I created a very strong bond of fusion with him, I don’t want to leave him anymore. I still manage to have him babysat and go to work, but it was not won! ” 

“My twins were so small that I was afraid of hurting them.” Marilyn, mother of Camille and Louis, 5 months old.

“Single mom, I gave birth to premature twins at exactly 32 weeks and 2 days old. The little rabbits arrived at 7 months. Camille weighed 1,800 kg and Louis 1,400 kg. The first weeks were a nightmare: my two boys were in neonatal intensive care. The sheave is quite a protocol. Before going home, you had to put on a gown, overshoes, and wash your hands with two different soaps and a hydro-alcoholic solution. Camille was intubated and sedated because he was having trouble breathing. It was hard to see this so small baby being the helpless spectator of his suffering. Louis, on the other hand, was doing very well, but he was still scoped, meaning his heart rate, blood pressure, etc. were measured continuously. Both were supplied with breast milk through a feeding tube passing through the nose. Despite everything, the transfer to neonatal care was able to take place quickly. Fortunately, the nursing staff was there to reassure me, me who asked tons of questions. I quickly took part in the care of the babies, which for me was doubled. They were so small that I took heat for fear of hurting them. They had to be handled with extreme gentleness and extreme caution.

I had my eyes on them

Providing first aid for a baby born at term is not easy, but for a little premature baby, with wires, electrodes, probes … Imagine the gestures to learn! But I learned, and I even became skilled. When it was time to breastfeed, I ran into a golden counselor, Marie-Pierre. She is the most human, kind, calm and attentive person I have ever met. She gave me lots of advice, but despite that, I couldn’t breastfeed. I had no milk! I could express my milk day and night every 3 hours, nothing helped. It was very frustrating. For me who had not already been able to carry my babies to term, nor to give birth naturally, it was an additional blow of the club. Then came the time to visit relatives. Just at the sight of the protocol for entering the service, you could see the fear on the faces. Fear which is accentuated when they discover the babies so small, plugged in from all sides in their incubators. I found that they had grown, I no longer saw the connections, but the visitors… They only saw two small beings who had come too early. But it didn’t affect me. Because little by little, the threads have disappeared and my babies have grown bigger. We had a mother-child room in the ward, to make the transition to the house. Then the exit came. The fatigue, the treatments to administer, the bottles to give, the stress of the state of health, the many things to buy… it was a heavy ordeal. But I ended up getting there! Today, they are 5 months old and weigh 6 and 7 kg. They sleep through their nights and have no health problems. In short, a great victory! “