Mustnanism is rigid, absolutist, categorically normative and persistent ideas about what life should be like and what kind of relationships between people should be. This is the establishment of a framework that neither oneself nor other people need, limiting thinking and possibilities. Mustnanism is the philosophy of absolute obligation.
The concept was introduced by A. Ellis. His “musturbation” is a play on words: “must” (should, must) and “masturbation” (masturbation, masturbation), and in this translation it was proposed by E.N. Volkov. Other translation options — «duty» and «duty» — are much less accurate.
If you follow the ideas of REBT, the main rotten root of all human pathological passions and insane actions — from the furious scream of parents at a child who does not want to eat everything that they wanted to cram into him, to suicide bombers who consider it their duty to adjust the life of all mankind to their miserable ideas about the order of the world, can actually be reduced to a two-pronged must-anism.
External must-nanism consists in the requirement for the world and other people to strictly, absolutely unequivocally comply with certain laws and rules, while the question of where and how they arose is not subjected to really serious and reasonable research. The observed inconsistencies are perceived as the gravest personal insult and as a call for the immediate eradication of these unnatural perversions.
Internal must-nanism is expressed in the requirement for oneself to be tough and unambiguous (to stand all the time and not deviate anywhere) within the framework of again certain norms and rules that have fallen out of nowhere, and in relation to any deviations as unbearable sins.
Mustnanism stands on beliefs — uncritically assimilated and uncritical ideas about oneself, people and the world, but represents their more offensive, aggressive form. Irrational beliefs are often formed already in childhood and are manifested by inadequate demands on oneself, others and the world around. They are often based on narcissism or a grandeur complex. Ellis (1979a, 1979b; Ellis and Harper, 1979) describes these requirements as three basic «Must»:
I must: (succeed in business, get the approval of others, etc.)
You must: (treat me well, love me, etc.)
The world should: (give me what I want quickly and easily, be fair to me, etc.)
Examples from consultations
1. Therapist (B): Let’s say as you left the house this morning, you said to yourself, “I would like to take five dollars with me today, I don’t need more. Although it is not necessary, I would still (9:) prefer to have five dollars with me. Later, you found only four dollars in your pocket. How do you think you would feel?
Patient (P): I think I would be upset.
B: Right! You would be upset or sorry, but you wouldn’t commit suicide over this. Now imagine that when you left home you said to yourself: “I have to take five dollars with me today, no more. But I must always have this money with me.” Later it turned out that you only had four dollars. How would you feel?
P: I think I would be very upset.
Q: You would certainly be upset if you found that you do not have what you SHOULD have. Now let’s say you also thought you should always have five dollars, but you ended up with six dollars in your pocket. How would you feel?
P: I would be happy. Maybe even too much?
Q: Yes, maybe you would feel happy, but soon you would be restless again. Do you know why?
P: No.
Q: Suppose you lost two dollars or spent or got robbed. See, you feel miserable anyway when you think you SHOULD have something. You worry when you don’t have it, and you also worry when you have it!
P: (crying)
Q: You are obviously upset about something, Gene. What are you thinking about now?
P: I’m so afraid of crying at work. I can lose control of myself in the presence of colleagues.
Q: What would be so terrible about that?
P: I can’t take it.
Q: Well, what do you think is the worst thing that could happen? If you lost control, would you lash out in rage at everyone you meet? Would you be unable to do anything?
P: (smiling) No-o-o-t. I think that I just would not want others to notice my bad mood.
Q: And if they noticed, would it be so bad?
P: Hmmm. You’re right, it wouldn’t be so terrible. (56:)
Q: Okay, so can we let you get even more upset when you’re not in the mood?
Download Rational-emotional-behavioral psychotherapy.doc