Little Nolan was in incredible pain fighting cancer for his mom.
The photo on the left is a small bald boy named Nolan. Curled up on the bathroom rug, waiting for Mom to get out of the shower. Nobody in the photo on the left … Nolan is gone. He died at the age of 4 from cancer.
Two months later, his mother, Ruth, wrote a letter to her son. You read it – and it is impossible to hold back the tears.
“Two months. Two months since I held you in my arms, listened to how you love me, kissed those pies. Two months since you curled up against me. Two months of absolute hell. “
A year ago, Nolan started having trouble breathing. The parents thought the child had a common cold. And then the doctors named the diagnosis – rhabdomyosarcoma. A type of cancer that affects muscles and bones.
The baby suffered from severe pain, and in the last days of his life he could not even eat or drink – he constantly vomited. A huge tumor grew inside the small body, which squeezed his heart and bronchi. When the doctors said there was no cure for cancer, Ruth decided to speak honestly with her son.
She laid his head on her shoulder and asked:
– Is it difficult for you to breathe, my boy?
– Yes mom.
– Are you in pain, kid?
– Yes…
– This cancer sucks. You don’t have to fight him anymore.
– No need?! But I will! For your sake, mom!
– Are you fighting for your mother?
– Yes!
– Nolan, what is your mom’s job?
– Protect me from danger.
– Honey, I can’t do this anymore. Now I can only protect you in heaven.
– So I will fly to heaven and play there until you come. You’re coming, right?
– Sure! You can’t just get rid of your mom.
Nolan spent the last months in a hospice. Ruth came to the boy to take him home for the night. I wanted to spend one more evening with him.
“I was waiting for Nolan to wake up. Seeing me, he gently put his hand on mine and said: “Mommy, everything is fine. Let’s stay here. ” My 4-year-old hero tried to make things easier for me.
For the next 36 hours between sleep we played, watched YouTube videos and had the best we could.
Then we lay together, and he said what he wanted a funeral, what people should wear. He said not to forget to take his favorite teddy bear. Then he wrote that he left each of us, and also asked us to remember him as … a policeman.
At around 9 pm I asked Nolan if he would mind if I went to the shower. He said, “Okay Mom, Uncle Chris will sit with me.” “I’ll be there in two seconds,” I said. He smiled and I closed the bathroom door.
Then the doctors said: as soon as I left, he closed his eyes and fell deeply asleep. Life began to leave him.
When I left the bathroom, a team of doctors was standing around his bed. They looked at me – they all had tears in their eyes.
“Ruth, Nolan is in deep sleep,” the doctors said. – He doesn’t feel anything. Breathing is difficult, oxygen levels are dropping. “
I rushed to my son, clung to him, and then a miracle happened that I will never forget … My angel sighed, opened his eyes and smiled. “I love you Mommy,” Nolan said, turning his head to me. At 11:45, he died when I sang the song “You are my sun” in his ear.
He woke up from a coma to say with a smile on his face that he loves me! My son died like a hero. He was a warrior who left with dignity and love in his heart.
Now I’m afraid to go to the shower. Because nothing awaits me anymore, except for an empty rug in the bathroom, the very one on which a little boy once waited for his mother. “