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“At home, the mother does not wash the first month after childbirth …”
My life as a Chinese mom
“Did you wash yourself?” My mother asked me, very angry, as soon as I got back from the hospital. Chinese tradition dictates that the mother does not wash the first month after childbirth, to protect her from illnesses; but since I was in France, I took a shower immediately. It is said that the woman is recovering and that her body must recover smoothly. The young mother must stay in bed, drink lukewarm chicken broths so as not to attack her body. Food that is too cold or too spicy is prohibited. When my parents came from China, they took care of everything: cleaning, laundry, cooking, as well as Alistair’s first rice soups from his 5 months. My only duty was to rest and breastfeed my son.
Grandparents have a very important role. They are our elders, those who know how to do it, those who teach us. We do not contradict them. After fourteen years of living in France, I see things differently; So when my mother wanted to take Alistair to her room at night so that I could sleep, I refused! It soothed me and made me happy to be able to benefit from their experience, even if, I admit, it was not easy every day with my partner. In China, the father’s place is “outside”: he takes care of bringing material comfort to his home. Without offending the sensitivity of my parents, we wanted to learn on our own and get closer to Alistair.
100 days after birth, we celebrate! With the grandparents, we invite all the family and friends home to celebrate his entry into life. He goes from arm to arm and finally discovers the outside world. Our child is born, and after 100 days without a hitch, he can officially start his life. This rite is called “bai tian jiu”. In the Canton region, in southern China, it is done on the 30th day, “moon yut” which means “the festival of red eggs and ginger”. Eggs in China symbolize fertility and harmony; red is the emblematic color of joyous celebrations, such as marriage, and ginger, the root that gives strength (“yang”).
The one-child policy will have marked my country in recent decades.
The child has been, and will still be I think for a few generations, the fruit of family attention. We wear it permanently, never being afraid, as in France, that it will become dependent on it. Alistair slept between us until he was 3, which is usual in China. We constantly watch our children. And if he has a sore or 38 ° C fever, hop, the whole family arrives at the hospital.
Back at home, we continue to use traditional remedies: we steam a pear, to which we add sugar crystals for sore throats for example, or a herbal tea of ginger, sugar and coriander to lower the temperature. For childbirth, we can also favor acupuncture to the epidural, but the majority of Chinese women schedule a cesarean section for fear that a natural childbirth will go wrong. Today, even if we continue to say that the mother must stay at home for at least a year to take care of her child, women living in large cities return to work after three months of maternity leave. They therefore benefit even more from the grandparents who take over. My parents, for example, for three years, brought their grandchildren to my sister’s office to nurse them. I find motherhood in China to be a beautiful balance between traditions and modernity.
Daily
To accentuate the rise of milk, we drink pig’s trotters broth.
When baby has 38 ° C fever, the whole family rushes to the hospital.
To do lower the temperature the baby is given a herbal tea of ginger, sugar and coriander.
Numbers:
– 1,6/XNUMX/XNUMX : the number of children per woman (source cia.gov)
— 29 % : this is the exclusive breastfeeding rate up to 6 months (source WHO)
– 12 weeks maternity leave
Anna Pamula and Dorothée Saada