Mother-in-law, father-in-law: how to find your place?

Mother-in-law, father-in-law: how to find your place?

Today, it is not uncommon to divorce, remarry, or even fall in love with someone who already has children. The mother-in-law or the father-in-law will have to find his place in this blended family.

Take the time to understand your role as a mother-in-law or father-in-law

when stepfamily is formed, the mother-in-law or the father-in-law must take the time to find his place. He must get to know each member of his new tribe. It may take a few weeks or even a few months.

During this time, the mother-in-law or the father-in-law must discover the children of her spouse but also the other members of the family. You have to get to know the beautiful family and even the friendly circle.

Often these people have known the previous spouse, which can be tricky. It should be noted that the mother-in-law or the father-in-law will undoubtedly have to deal with the father or the mother of the child, a key person!

After this crucial step, the role emerges. Sometimes the mother-in-law or the father-in-law has to assume a role of parent, sometimes this function will be prohibited for him. Of course, the spouse will be of great help.

Finding your place as a mother-in-law or father-in-law with young children

Young children are easy to tame. The role of the mother-in-law or the father-in-law is that of a surrogate or additional parent. You have to meet basic needs like feeding, bathing, helping with homework, driving toddlers to school or to their activities.

The difficulty with young children is to respect the educational principles of their parents. The former spouse can have reservations about the methods of the mother-in-law or the father-in-law. Tensions are often at the rendezvous. The ideal in this situation is to communicate with both parents of the children.

Mother-in-law, father-in-law: finding your place with adolescents

Find your place with one or more Adolescents can be very tricky. Older adolescents may have difficulty accepting the separation of their parents and the blended family. With adolescents, it takes patience and a lot of communication. The mother-in-law or the father-in-law will have to understand teenagers, prove that they will not take the place of a parent and, why not, demonstrate that a solid relationship can be born.

Get involved with children as a mother-in-law or father-in-law

For everything to go well, the mother-in-law or the father-in-law must be involved with the children. At first, he gets to know them with the help of his spouse. Then he tries to define his role and finally he starts a relationship.

The bond that binds a stepfather or a stepmother to a child can be strong. The newcomer is seen as a stranger but quickly becomes a member of the family. He is there on a daily basis, he can help, become a confidant, etc.

As an adult, it is up to the mother-in-law or the father-in-law to invest in the children so that everyone finds their place in this new family circle. The beginnings can be difficult, so perseverance is essential.

Respect and be respected to find your place

As a father-in-law or mother-in-law, one must respect the children of one’s spouse, especially the younger ones. They are going through big changes that can be difficult. On the other hand, even if the children do not like the newcomer to their family, they must respect him. The new couple must set limits and be respected. Respect is a basis for building a new life as a blended family.

Finding your place as a mother-in-law or father-in-law thanks to your spouse

To find his place as a mother-in-law or father-in-law, the spouse is an ally. He knows his children and especially the possible difficulties at the origin of the separation. It can therefore help the different members of the blended family to appreciate each other but also to live together.

Acting like any family makes it easier to find your feet. This means that you have to do outings and activities. The goal is to spend pleasant moments together and to create memories. Over time, the tensions subside, everyday life is more natural and therefore more pleasant.

The role of the parent who decides to start a new life is essential in a blended family. He must ensure a presence with his children and help his spouse to integrate. It’s a real challenge! The ideal is to make sure that everyone is well and that the whole of the new family nucleus manages to flourish like any family.

As a mother-in-law or father-in-law, you have to find your place by investing in your new family but also by being accepted. Thanks to patience, good communication and the precious help of your spouse, the life of a blended family can be very happy!

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