Mother and daughter: how to develop an accomplice relationship?

Mother and daughter: how to develop an accomplice relationship?

The mother-daughter relationship is full of surprises. It can be fusional, complicit, complex and even conflictual. Understanding the mother-daughter relationship is difficult because it requires a very personal introspection and analysis.

Mother-daughter relationship: focus on the fusional mother

Having a baby girl is a happy event for moms and dads alike. Girls reflect fragility, gentleness and tenderness.

Little girls are also little dolls that moms love to dress and style. Moms value their daughter to value herself. It is not uncommon for mothers to live through their daughter, or even live by proxy!

All moms think they know their kids better than everyone else. This tendency is especially true with little girls where mothers think they even know their feelings.

All these fusional reactions result in a beautiful bond during childhood but very quickly conflicts are born and destroy the mother-daughter relationship. You have to be measured. Being close to your daughter is an asset, but you have to know how to play your parenting role by punishing or making them independent.

Mother-daughter relationship: when friendship has no place

Too often, moms want their daughter to be their friend. Mothers and daughters have common activities, they share their daily lives and grow together in society. This habit is very reassuring for little girls. They admire their mother, copy her and necessarily like to be included in her life.

With age, girls want their independence. They want to choose their clothes, their activities and much more. This step is very difficult for mothers who feel a deep sense of abandonment. They have devoted themselves to their daughter for years and now find themselves isolated.

Again, balancing the mother-daughter relationship from an early age is essential. Moms must learn not to devote themselves entirely to their daughter. They should encourage her to find her place in society, with her friends and comrades. Little girls must have their activities without mom and vice versa.

Rivalry at the heart of the mother-daughter relationship

Rivalry is often a source of conflict during adolescence. During this period, the girls want more independence, they have good girlfriends and sometimes have a first love. Those who were children just a few months ago are turning into women. For mothers, this course is very difficult. Their daughter represents what they have lost: youth and recklessness. Some mothers feel unsafe as they get older. When jealousy creeps into a relationship, then mothers and daughters can become real rivals.

This situation is very dangerous because in adolescence, young girls are very fragile. They need to grow up and lead their life while being reassured. Conflict with the mother can have serious consequences. It is one of the major causes ofanorexia nervosa which affects tens of thousands of adolescent girls every year.

A conflictual relationship impacts young girls in their married life and later in their relationship with their own daughter. Vigilance is therefore essential!

Motherhood and the mother-daughter relationship

Sometimes the mother-daughter relationship goes smoothly during childhood and adolescence. Mothers are successful in raising their daughters and making them strong and confident young women. But there are still steps to be taken …

Motherhood is one of them. Mothers become grandmothers and they want to get involved! It is not uncommon for a woman to become a grandmother around the time of menopause. While she herself can no longer have children, a baby arrives in the family. The reaction is very strong. The young grandmother lives again, she wants to nurture and she becomes very intrusive.

However, with a little hindsight and common sense, a mother can help her daughter to become a mother and play a key role. She will have to advise her daughter and teach her the right actions instead of doing them for them. This transmission is invaluable and gives pride of place to the grandmother. The young mother feels strong and confides more easily with her child. In short, everyone is a winner!

The mother-daughter relationship is not easy. She works at each stage of the life of the two women. This relationship can be problematic but it can also be rich and very solid!

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