Contents
Love and hate, rebellion and the need for attention, unspoken hurts or harsh words. Many films and novels are devoted to the deep connection between mother and daughter, but so few books written by psychologists, especially those published in Russian. Four of them are in our collection.
1. “Daughters-mothers. 3rd extra?
Caroline Eljacheff, Natalie Einisch, Institute for Humanities Studies, 2011
It seems that in this book all facets of these relationships are indicated. Maternal affection, jealousy or subordination to the child, “mother-matchmakers” and “mother-wives”, their relationship with young daughters, teenage girls and adult women – each style of relationship or conflict is devoted to a separate chapter.
French psychoanalyst Caroline Eliacheff and sociologist Natalie Einisch reveal these situations using examples from the life of heroes of classical and modern literature – from the novels of Honore de Balzac, Gustave Flaubert, Guy de Maupassant, Leo Tolstoy, Vladimir Nabokov, Andre Maurois, Francoise Sagan and many others, and famous films – “The Most Beautiful”, “Autumn Sonata”, “Piano”, “Secrets and Lies”, “Sharp Heels”, “Pianist”.
“If a mother is unable to give up her influence over her adult daughter and continues to perceive her as if she is still a little girl, there is a serious risk that she will have to completely abandon such a relationship.”
2. “I’m alone at home”, or Vasilisa’s Spindle”
Ekaterina Mikhailova, Class, 2014
The book by psychotherapist Ekaterina Mikhailova is based on the stories of women who participated in her group trainings. Behind each plot there is a family story, an image of a mother. Her high expectations or suffocating love, premature departure of her daughter or addiction that lasts a lifetime …
And you have to deal not so much with your real mother, but with the “mother in yourself”, with the attitudes and behaviors learned from her. Only by feeling how huge its share in our inner world is, you can “replay” this closeness, survive the loss and try to build relationships on a new level.
“No matter how far we have gone from the threshold of the parental home, the huge figure – to the sky – the figure of the main woman of our childhood casts a shadow that reaches our most adult and independent actions, judgments and feelings.”
3. “Electra complex in the psychology of a woman”
Nancy Carter, Lenand, 2014
Painting a portrait of a modern woman who has not coped with the Electra complex, Jungian analyst Nancy Cater emphasizes that her feelings and internal conflicts are not reducible only to the idealization of her father. Another facet of them is the girl’s complex relationship with her domineering mother.
Nancy Kater describes an absorbing mother who prevents her daughter from growing, developing personally, or experiencing joy, creativity, freedom. On a more global level, she denies her daughter’s individuality. As a result, the girl develops a negative maternal image, which breaks her connection with her female “I”, with her body, her sexuality. The author talks about how to work with these problems, and emphasizes that many can be dealt with on your own.
“Electra has always viewed herself as the opposite of her mother, believing she is ‘good’ and ‘morally right’. Having met her Shadow, however, she will have to admit that she is in many ways like her mother.
4. “Birth of a grandmother. When a daughter becomes a mother
Anat Garari, Cogito Center, 2012
A look at the relationship of the two closest people from the position of the mother. The book is based on the psychological training provided by Israeli family therapist Anat Garari for women whose daughters are about to become mothers.
At this crucial moment of changing life roles, a deep personal transformation, both for a young woman and her aging mother, their hidden conflicts, resentments, misunderstandings are exposed and flare up with a vengeance. The author helps women sort out their feelings, make peace with their daughters and teach them to appreciate each other.
“Having found out about her pregnancy, Neary did not immediately rush to call her mother. True, this conscious delay lasted only a couple of hours, but it turned out to be enough to draw a line between them … It was the beginning of a new, very difficult relationship.