Contents
What is stopping us from earning more? Fear of the unknown? Personal qualities? Or, as always, are others to blame? Let’s try to figure it out.
POVERTY “BY HERITAGE”
In many ways, we repeat the fate of our parents: we learn from their examples, we try to imitate them. This is all “on the surface”, but the problem is actually deeper. Imagine that mom and dad lived very modestly, and the children got rich. How will parents feel about this? Joy? Pride? Maybe – but not only. Envy is a feeling from which there is no escape.
Throughout our lives, our parents were better, smarter, wiser than us. And after so many years, you need to “take off the crown” and admit that they were wrong about something. It is much safer when children are on the same financial level as them, and if richer, then slightly.
As a rule, parents do not realize this, but the fact remains: as a result, we get not only “hereditary” divorces, but also financial problems that pass from generation to generation.
MONEY SPEAKS PEOPLE, THEREFORE WE HAVE MOSTLY GOOD PEOPLE
What is the attitude of the majority towards wealthy people? With envy, anger and sometimes fear. Negative emotions are quite understandable: hanging on those with whom we are separated by a financial abyss, the labels of immoral, mercantile, soulless, it is easier to justify one’s insolvency.
We are not like that. We are generous, kind, supremely beautiful. The problem is that by repeating several times: “the rich are bad, I am good,” we tightly close our path to wealth.
I’M NOT GUILTY
When we fail at something, there are at least two ways. The first is to admit that we ourselves are to blame. They didn’t understand the subject, they didn’t get the necessary knowledge, skills, experience to succeed. It is difficult, you have to accept your imperfection and go to learn from those who understand the topic.
There is a second way – to find the guilty “outside”. It can be either abstract enemies, competitors, a crisis, the lack of business support programs, the employment of all niches, or very specific taxes, an employer or the government.
This path – excuses and shifting responsibility – tightly blocks the road to money. We are not to blame, there is no need to change, and old actions lead to old results. That is, to lack of money.
FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN
Have you noticed that the first time you walk to a new place, the road seems long? The return is much faster: you already know how far you need to go. Why is that? Striking the unknown. Same story with money. We are encouraged to believe that everything will be fine, but we do not understand at the technical level how exactly to come to this. That is why we doubt and fear failure.
Knowledge of specific tools: budgeting, asset-liability information, a personal financial plan for buying an apartment, car, travel – helps to cope with the fear of the unknown and put your finances in order.
What do psychologists say?
About envy
Envy is still quite a rare reaction. More often, people feel respect and pride for the financial well-being of their adult child. It happens that children offer their parents a job in their business, thereby creating a comfortable active niche, social demand, involvement in the child’s activities and good earnings. But everything, of course, depends on the relationships that initially developed in the family.
About self-justifications
We formulate it for ourselves like this: I did not become rich, but I am good, kind. Explaining it to yourself in this way makes it easier to come to terms with the conflict of unattainable claims.
As for the well-known stereotype, money does not spoil people at all: it creates new tasks. The problem is that not everyone handles them correctly. The social circle changes frequently. Stresses are added, because it is necessary to at least stay on what has been achieved, or even step higher. So money really can change a person – but not necessarily for the worse.
About the Developer
Roman Argashokov – an expert in personal financial planning, director and trainer of the Center for Financial Culture, author of the book “There is always money.”