In a foreign country, she opened a business and became a successful blogger.
“People think I’m weird. Leave native Petersburg and go to Africa with two small children. For what?” – says Natalia Sakado, who has been living in the African province for four years and during this time has never regretted her decision.
Once Natalia did not even know about such a country as Ghana. She was born in Leningrad. She worked as an English teacher and did not even think about moving to another country, and even more so to another continent. And then she met him – an African student from Ghana, Frank, who was 7 years her senior. They were introduced by mutual friends – foreign students, also Africans.
Ghana’s official language is English. And Natalia tried to use every opportunity for practice. But at the first meeting she did not like Frank at all. And he himself, as Natalya thought then, was not at all interested in her.
Some time after they met, the girl dreamed of how she was marrying Frank. Then, waking up in the morning, she just laughed. And six months later, Frank called her out on a date. After another couple of years, they became husband and wife.
“Let’s meet, get to know each other better and get married!” “Our friendship began with about this phrase,” says Natalya. – And although I agreed then, I thought for a long time, why do I need it? It really took us a while to get to know each other, to get used to, but as soon as this happened, we realized that we could not live without each other. “
Having become Frank’s wife, Natalia did not even think of staying in Russia. After the birth of her first child, she left for Africa after her husband.
“Because this is my husband’s homeland,” she says. – I’m sure at this stage we are where we should be. This stage will end, perhaps our place of residence will also change. Who knows, it could be Russia, another African country, Europe or Australia “
When asked where is better, Natalya replies: “Where the family and husband are.”
The wedding was celebrated twice. First in the registry office, and a month later in the church. Only the closest ones were invited to the registration. We celebrated the event with a festive dinner with friends, and then … went home. Natalya goes to her parents, and Frank goes to the hostel. They were waiting for the wedding.
“My husband grew up in a Christian family, we got married in a Lutheran church in Pushkin. They baptized their eldest son there. “
Frank’s family received their daughter-in-law perfectly. But Natalia’s parents were skeptical about her marriage. But the daughter was released to Africa. Apparently, they decided: let him look at local life, then she will change her mind.
The first 10 months in Ghana were really hard for Natalia. No family, no friends. All day she sat with her one-year-old son Martin at home and did not know what to do with herself.
“I walked around a lot, read, thought about life. Thoughts about how quickly and aimlessly life passes through my head.
But it so happened that for almost a year Natalia had to return to Russia, where she gave birth to her second child. Meanwhile, Frank, a doctor by profession, tried himself in the United States and other countries – the family needed money.
“I missed my husband, but I really didn’t want to go back to Ghana. I didn’t miss food, nature, even the ocean. “
In Russia, the mother of two mulatto kids had a difficult time.
“That there are not enough Russian guys?” – the woman was often asked by casual passers-by, glancing sideways at the curly boys. In the store, in transport, in the clinic, on the playground – everyone was interested in her personal life.
And then Natalia with two children returned to Africa. This time everything turned out differently. She has a favorite business: a blog about Ghana and her own online store. Natalia supplies oils, soaps and fabrics from Africa to Russia.
True, in Ghana, a white woman catches sidelong glances on herself.
“The girls look appraisingly, and then they ask my husband:“ What is it about her? Why is she and not us? ” And he squeezes my hand tightly and replies: “We have to prove to them, you know? In Russia or in Ghana, they will all expect that we will not succeed! We must prove to the whole world that we can, that it is possible. “
“Living in Ghana, I want my children to absorb as much of my native Russian as possible. I communicate with my husband in English, and with them in Russian. I read them Russian fairy tales, show them Soviet cartoons, support my usual holidays and traditions. They will pick up “Ghanaian” automatically. “
By the way, Natalia’s eldest son has already appeared on Russian screens. Little Martin played in the TV series “Pregnancy Test”.
“In Ghana, no woman will ever think about the dangers of vaccinations for her baby. In this part of the world, children begin to be vaccinated earlier, the intervals between vaccinations are shorter – still a dangerous zone.
Wheelchairs are practically not used here, especially on the street. They tie babies behind their backs with the help of a special cloth. “
“A child in Ghana can be sent to a kindergarten from three months. He finds himself in a group of nurseries, where children only play, sleep, eat and watch cartoons. After two years, children begin to learn letters, numbers, books are read to them. The day begins with a ruler, children sing the anthem of the country, the anthem of the school, read a prayer. Everyone is in uniform, three or four styles for different days and occasions.
The younger groups have breakfast, the older ones only have snacks and lunch. Classes last from 8:00 to 15:00, after which there are additional classes: drama, music, cooking. There is no quiet hour for children over two years old. If the baby wants to sleep, he can be laid on the mattress.
There are almost no toys in the garden. This is due to the needs of society, the priorities of parents. A colleague of her husband’s complained that at the school, for which he paid a large sum, his children paint. Draw! And they should write, count and speak their name and age and a verse from the Bible in English with a tongue twister. “
“The Ghanaian man is hardworking. He must support his family, build a house (or two). He is characterized by ambition. Everyone wants to achieve a lot, dream of big money, expensive cars and nice houses.
When we started meeting with Frank, we saw each other once a week, not more often. I began to protest and received an answer: “I came here to study, everything else is secondary.”
In dealing with women, Ghanaians are characterized by ease and freedom. They give a lot of compliments, ask questions, joke. In Russia, this would be perceived as flirting, but in Ghana, such communication most often is just a desire to win over the interlocutor and maintain a pleasant conversation.
Ghanaians do everything for their children and their education. This is the continuation of the family, their future. And wives are their faces. If the wife doesn’t look good, they will blame the husband. ”
“The family has a clear division of responsibilities. The typical Ghanaian man does not enter the kitchen. And he won’t even put ready food on a plate – he will wait for his wife to do it. This is probably why it is customary in Ghanaian families to have helpers around the house. ⠀
Frank sometimes cooks and washes the dishes. But the phrases “you are a woman”, “you are a mother” are often heard in our family. Especially when it comes to caring for young children. For a Ghanaian, this is also a purely female job.
While full patriarchy reigns in Ghanaian homes, there is relative equality in management positions. Women can be seen in government and management positions. There are women directors, women pastors of churches. Women drive cars and enjoy the same privileges in society as men. ”
