The woman who raised Timati himself, and now is raising his daughter Alice, shared her methods and advice on how to raise a happy child.
The mother of the famous rapper Timati is now no less famous than her son. Some time ago, Simona Yunusova started blogging on her Instagram about parenting. The famous grandmother of Alisa Timurovna talks about both her own experience and the various methods that she uses in raising her granddaughter.
Subscribers are simply delighted with the advice of the woman who raised Timati himself, and now is raising his daughter. Almost the whole country loves to watch how Alice grows and develops. At two and a half years old, the girl is very developed: she knows how to swim, knows letters, numbers, geometric shapes, the names of fruits, vegetables and much more.
The Woman’s Day editorial team has collected for you the best recommendations for raising children from Simona, so that your baby grows up as smart and active as Timati’s daughter.
The child does not need to be accustomed to an expensive and beautiful life.
It is very important to explain to the child that a lot depends on his efforts. You should not equate the well-being of your parents with your own. It is necessary to accustom oneself to the fact that life is different and one must be ready for this. It is necessary to cultivate a respectful attitude towards people, regardless of their financial situation.
Children copy us, so any actions and words should be carefully thought out who we are, and they are. It is necessary to explain that hard work is behind any success, and the most important thing, in my opinion, is to teach a person not to suffer from the fact that a neighbor has something that you do not have.
The main task of an adult is to instill in a child the skill to live in harmony with himself and be able to enjoy everything that surrounds him. In other words, it’s not worth teaching to be happy, but teaching to a beautiful life, in my opinion, is not worth it, people get used to good things very quickly without training.
Develop creativity in children
Children should be taught what is useful in everyday life, then there will not be many problems in adult life … Now I have a girl, and therefore I think a lot on this topic. I don’t want to write platitudes that a girl should be a neat and good housewife, this is so clear … But how to make routine work enjoyable?
An example from life: in my childhood, floors were rubbed to make them shine. The business is terribly tedious and boring, but my dad suggested doing it with music, and the work turned into an exciting experience! Helping to cook dinner at a time when everyone is driving down the street is also not the most “sweet”, but when they showed me how the dough “breathes” in my hands (for those who do not know when you start kneading yeast dough, it bubbles and it seems that in the hands of a living organism) – this is a fabulous sensation!
By the way, since then, I love to cook … Now I can say with confidence that children need to develop creativity, and then any work becomes interesting and not a burden.
Respect your child’s choices and opinions
My dad was a musician, a real communist and an incorrigible romantic who sincerely believed in the idea and that every person with his good deeds can change the world … He was an atheist, as befits people who chose to believe in an ideal society … My mother was restorer.
Grabar’s workshop is still located on the territory of the temple in Kadashi. Mom went through 38 years, the arrest, execution of her father, rehabilitation and much more … She was a believer and, to put it mildly, did not really share the romantic aspirations of her husband, but the main thing in our family was respect for the opinion of both.
None of my parents ever allowed themselves to be sarcastic about the ideals of another! This is probably why they managed to live such a long life together in love … I really want my parents’ little great-granddaughter to know the history of her country. I would like to have time to tell Alice about our family, so that she herself builds causal relationships, that is, she just learns to think, and that people on her way will definitely meet people who will respect her choice.
There are no easy children
Are there easy children? I have not met! There are different temperaments, on which the behavior of the child depends. Temperament cannot be brought up, much less changed. I have never met people with only one type of trait. Most often we see mixed variants, but you can always notice a dominant predominance.
I would treat introverted children with great attention, since external complaisance and calmness have nothing to do with their inner world. Both the silent and the chatterboxes personally cause the same alarm in me, since these are two sides of the same coin. I am now relying on personal experience.
I spent my childhood sitting on the edge of a constantly erupting volcano! It was very difficult emotionally, nevertheless close and understandable. Temperament, like the color of hair, eyes, is given to us from birth, we simply inherit its features from our parents. Alice will not be a comfortable child for sure! Well, baby, welcome to our cholera-sanguine family with elements of melancholy!
Young ladies who are not adapted to life grow out of “princesses”
At all times, there were canons of beauty that women aspired to. I’m definitely not talking about that! For me it is always much more attractive than the standard – charisma and style! Alice is dressed the way all members of our family like it, without exception!
The same goes for haircuts. Finally, I don’t like it when girls are told that they are princesses. In my opinion, out of the “princesses” grow up not adapted to life, exalted young ladies, for whom a broken nail or a pimple that has jumped up is a reason for hysteria. It is better to be a sorceress who will make other people happy with her abilities.
The school must be approached responsibly
This story is the answer to questions about attitudes towards school. I was 11 years old, I really loved reading and literature lessons. Once we were asked to write an essay. I tried all evening, it was very interesting for me, I clearly remember the feeling of the creative process. In the morning I flew to school to share my work.
After reading it, the teacher said that it was copied or written by someone adult. The children laughed after the teacher, I got a “two”. I remember this forever, and I closed myself for a very long time. In the eighth grade, the school changed, where I met completely different teachers who supported me and helped me to believe in myself.
Probably, none of them is already alive, but I always think of these people with great gratitude and warmth! The school must be approached very responsibly. Look for yourself, get to know the teachers, talk to the parents of children who are already studying, and always keep abreast, since children do not always share what is happening in their life. I am in favor of looking not for a school, but for the personality of a teacher!
Learning to swim in the ocean
What is the difference between swimming in a pool and swimming in the ocean? It seems to be nothing for a floating child, but no! I think that the child is afraid of the volume when the boundaries are not visible.
It took a lot of effort for Alice to start trusting me. Glasses and fish helped, which are very interesting to watch, and surprisingly warm water, which is much more comfortable than in an outdoor pool.
It is important to teach your child to lose with dignity.
By watching or participating in play, you can learn a lot about a child’s inner problems. Alice has strong leadership qualities. I can see that it will be hard for her to experience losses.
The attitude to victories and failures in the future will determine the success and what conclusions a person will draw from this. The kid must be psychologically prepared for both victories and defeats. It seems to me that teaching a person to lose with dignity is a very important skill! In fact, the time to think appeared only now, but then …
Then I instinctively believed in my children for no reason. For all my youthful ambition and perfectionism, it’s amazing that my sons turned into people who know how to take a punch! Children imitate our actions and reactions more than our words. Therefore, you need to start with yourself!
You need to talk to a child in a human language.
My sons started talking quite early, but Alice surpassed all expectations, maybe because a girl? It is almost impossible to predict in advance how your child’s speech will develop. This process is very individual, like everything related to development. From 1 to 3 years, the formation of active speech occurs.
During this period, understanding what adults are saying is much more than being able to pronounce … From two months, Alice and I “aguk” in every way, and I am sure that this is a very important moment of unity when a child begins to speak the same language with an adult. … To be honest, this is unforgettable for me. Then you need to constantly talk with the baby, even if relatives and friends are twisting at the temple. The child discerns intonations and very soon begins to understand the meaning.
You need to speak slowly, clearly so that the baby can see your articulation, so it is easier to understand. We often asked Alice to repeat the words, even if something inarticulate sounded in response, we always praised her. I have already mentioned more than once that I am categorically against such words: bo-bo, pee-pee, yum-yum, and so on. This slows down the development of speech, you need to speak with a person in a human language!
Now Alice’s stream of consciousness is ahead of her speech capabilities, so we stop her and ask her to repeat it again more slowly, thus giving time to think over the phrase. I really love retelling. In my opinion, this develops the ability to speak. Recently, we have reached the stage – the clarification of the grammatical structure (stress, gender, endings, etc.). And here you should not be touched by the wrong cute words … I think that the task of an adult is to correct mistakes in time and tactfully … And I never cease to be amazed at what happens to a person just 2 years from birth! We also started talking in our sleep, and this is also progress!
Learn without hesitation to broadcast your emotions
I don’t know who Alice will become, but my task is to teach her, without hesitation, to broadcast her emotions. This is a very important skill that cures many psychological and, consequently, physical illnesses.
What is needed for this? Nothing special! Just stand by your side and show by your example that nothing is impossible and scary! It’s always more fun to participate yourself than to watch others do!
Children under three years old should not be punished
To raise a child happy, you need to educate him, and this is impossible without establishing certain boundaries. “Good” and “bad” depend on our personal experience. The baby simply does not have this experience. Watch your children, and you will see: what is interesting is good for them! Stick your finger in a power outlet, touch an iron, get into a puddle, etc.
What could be the reaction of an adult? My kids loved to paint on the wallpaper. We lived with my grandmother, and in my absence they were constantly punished for this. They did not offer an alternative, but simply scolded. The consequence of this punishment was a complete and irrevocable refusal to paint. What if one of them could become an artist?
Families with frequent punishment can raise anxious children who are subject to force and unable to make decisions. Or children who subsequently do not hear anyone and do not obey the rules, this is how a child’s protest is expressed! I am not a supporter of allowing everything, I suggest thinking what we can offer in return, how to distract the child without suppressing the individual.
Of course, some behavior needs a clear and decisive prohibition (for example, aggression). It is very helpful to discuss actions from an early age. It is important for a child to understand why they are angry and why they are unhappy with them. My opinion is that it is not worth punishing at all up to 3 years, we must look for another way. In conclusion, I want to say: for myself, I found a way when a child feels that his parents are proud of him, this can become a much more motivating factor than all the punishments. Checked!
Adults should not get involved in children’s quarrels.
Once Alice, dad and uncle and I went to the kids’ club. Parents watch, drink tea, and children play at this time. At the age of two, the child is just beginning to learn to interact in a group, and on this difficult path it does not do without conflicts.
Alice was playing, at this time an older girl came up and tried to take away the toy. It didn’t work out, and then, naturally, the girl hit Alice. There was a heart-rending roar …
Children have a normal, healthy, primitive manner of communication. The one who is stronger wins. The youngest child is still a passive participant in the quarrel, and the older one provokes it. This process should not be interfered with, this is how the “I” is formed.
In an amicable way, adults should observe, but not interfere (within reason). By the way, after talking with her mother, the girl apologized to Alice.
To successfully potty train your child must be ready
Of course, the topic is not the most aesthetic, but there are many questions, so I’ll tell you what I know. I was young, but I prepared very responsibly for the appearance of children. I read, went to all sorts of courses, talked with parents of large families that were interesting and authoritative for me. She began to “plant” right in the hospital, after each feeding she held it over a basin. Very soon it seemed that it was already working, but in fact, I just instinctively caught the process!
Having gained experience, I can say that any fanaticism turns off the ability to soberly assess the situation! In order to successfully potty train, the child must be ready. How to understand this? The baby can stay dry for more than two hours, emptying occurs at about the same time, wakes up dry after a nap. All this suggests that the nervous system is already ready to control the process, that is, the child can endure.
We bought Alice the most ordinary pot, in my opinion, it should not be a toy. It is best to teach in the warm season. We just stopped putting on diapers during the day. You can also fill a rubber toy with water and hold it over the pot to show what the bear is doing.
Every time Alice succeeded, we praised her, but if it happened by, then we didn’t scold her for sure! By the way, the fear of the pot often develops in those children who are yelled at because of unsuccessful attempts. And also turn on your instinct, and you will feel when it is time to plant, even if the baby is playing and does not ask.
If the child does not succeed, do not give up and do not lose patience. All children are very individual and develop at their own pace.
It is worth fostering accuracy by setting a personal example.
Until the age of six, children absorb the good and the bad alike. When my sons were young, they, like most children, did not like to put away toys and put things in order. I methodically and systematically forced them to do it.
We cleaned and hung together, often I got nervous, it was easier to do it myself. After putting the children to bed, I began to scold myself that I gave up again, that I did not have enough patience, and the next day everything was repeated all over again.
Many years have passed, when I come to visit my sons, I can not help smiling! Even I do not have such an order! Adults are an example, and what children see is recorded in the subcortex … A child does not have an innate slothful gene. Draw a conclusion yourself and do not despair. Maybe in 30 years happiness will come to you!