Grandparents at 40?
If parents are ready to accept a lot of things from their children, being given the status of “grandparents” in their forties can sometimes provoke strange reactions… Emilie, 20, mother of Noah, 4 years old , and 6 months pregnant, recalls: “I had my first son when I was 17 and a half. Announce it to my mother was the most difficult step because it is very old fashioned. I brought the future daddy over to the house, offered everyone a coffee and, under my mother’s cup, I slipped ultrasound. Mom was angry with me for a while, we didn’t speak to each other for 4 months. ” An attitude that psychologist Christophe Martail explains as follows: “A mother who learns that her teenager is pregnant realizes that her offspring is now a woman. A potential rival … She ceases to be only his daughter to become a mother in her turn. Many young girls, on the verge of giving birth to a baby, are also put aside by their families, for cultural or religious reasons. Finally, some parents see the news as a personal failure. ”
How far should parents get involved in the motherhood of their teenager?
In many cases, the young mother still lives with her parents and brings up her baby under their roof. But then, what should be the attitude of the grandparents, and in particular of the grandmother? Push their daughter towards autonomy or, conversely, get involved in the education of her child?
“As far as possible, it is preferable that the grandparents get involved,” said the pro. Yes, there is always a risk that it will get in the way of the mom / baby relationship, but it depends on how they go about it. It is better to take this risk, rather than the young girl abandoning her studies, ruining her career, because she became a mother a little too early… ”
This mother confirms it: “I got pregnant when I was 15 and a half. I accepted it well, but now, at 28, I tell myself that I did not have a teenage years. I didn’t have a professional life either, I always took care of my child. If I could have had it later, it would have been better for everyone… ”