If you still do not know anything about the blogger mother Katya Dolgorukova, then you certainly need to catch up.
The mother of four-year-old Alexandra has long attracted our attention on Instagram, where she has become a kind of guiding star in the world of motherhood for many future and current mothers. In addition to raising her daughter, Katya designs her own clothing brand and maintains a blog not only on Instagram, but also on her own .
In May this year, the Second Annual Instamam Award ceremony took place in Moscow, where, according to the voting results, Katya Dolgorukova became “Trendy Mom”.
Woman’s Day asked the popular blogger mom to share her parenting rules, which she focuses on in her relationship with her daughter Alex.
Parenting is a complex topic. Each child is unique, and each needs a different approach. But meanwhile they are all the same. I don’t think it’s right to give any advice, but I’m always ready to share my personal experience. If it turns out to be useful to someone, I will be very glad.
First you need to understand that Sasha is my first child (I hope there will be more). In this regard, I, one might say, experiment on her, learn from my own mistakes and just get to know motherhood.
The first thing I had to learn was patience. For me personally, this was almost the most difficult stage in parenting. It is an art to answer a child 20 times the same question while maintaining a friendly tone. But humor helps me. Every 5th after repeating the answer, I ask if everything is fine with my daughter with hearing, maybe it is worth going to the doctor and getting tested. Most often it helps. She switches over and doesn’t ask again.
The second is admitting to yourself that your infinitely beloved child can infuriate you from time to time. Yes, you didn’t think it was to enrage. Let’s be frank: our dearly beloved children are capable of infuriating even the most balanced person in the entire Universe. I don’t believe my parents who say the opposite. It is quite possible that I am mistaken, and if you know such people, please introduce me to them as soon as possible.
It is much easier for me to admit it than to hide it. Being honest about your emotions is important and necessary. We’re not robots. We are humans. And people cannot constantly be in a good mood and experience only positive emotions.
It’s okay to be angry. But you also need to be able to get angry
Hence follows third observation and at the same time my little victory… Every parent knows what a child’s tantrum is. And the reason is not important. One of the most popular reasons for my child is “the water is too wet.” Do you understand what I mean? That is, there is, in fact, no reason. It’s just that the little man needs to throw out his little negativity. And to teach him to do it correctly is the task of the parents. When Alex has this kind of tantrum, I do the following. I sit down on the level of her height (it is important for her to feel that we are on an equal footing), I tell her that she is angry and this is normal. Everyone has the right to different kinds of emotions – both good and bad. I must say that I don’t like it, but I love her even in these moments. Then I invite her to scream, stomp, hit the pillow / toy / the first thing that comes to hand. The main thing is not to beat the mother and people in general. And you know what? She screams, so much so that you can hear it at the other end of Moscow.
But it is precisely this cry that brings us closer together. It allows us not to hide our true emotions. Be honest and frank with each other
In my opinion, this is important. I really hope that we will maintain this closeness in the future.
The fourth skill, which is the rule of upbringing, which I learned when I became a mother, is the ability to say “no” correctly. First, no – it is not! “No” does not turn into “Yes” after 2 minutes. Otherwise, it’s a pipe. The moment a child rushes under the wheels of a car, even if you shout “no”, he will not hear. That is why (because of a banal fear) I teach her to perceive my “no” and understand that “no” is an unconditional prohibition that is worth hearing.
But there is a nuance. In those cases when her health does not depend on my “no”, I try to avoid it. Conventionally, if Alex asks for something sweet, and I understand that the limit has been reached, I say “no today” but tomorrow it will be “yes”! That is, I let her understand that this is not a categorical prohibition, you just need to wait a little and be patient.
Well, in the end one more rule of mine: I gave my word – hold! It works both ways in our family with Sasha. If she promised me something and did not fulfill it, I will definitely remind you. And whatever the cost to me, I’ll keep my promise. Or I won’t give it at all.
After all, losing the trust of a child is as easy as shelling pears. But it will take years to return it.
I am telling you this as a child. Not like mom …
That’s all. I wish you harmony with your children. Understand and accept each other as you are. After all, you are each other’s one and only, completely unique parent and child!
Ksenia Krasnova, Katya Dolgorukova