If a daughter grows up in a family, then sooner or later the mother thinks about how to raise a girl as a kind, gentle, sympathetic, polite, feminine, decent, with good taste and manners – in a word, a lady. After all, those qualities that will be brought up in her from childhood, the girl will carry through her whole life and pass on to her children in the future. We asked mothers raising girls for advice on how they teach their princesses good behavior and self-care skills.
Appearance
Someone may say that being a lady is not relevant in our time. Perhaps you will no longer meet knights and not everyone will get to a social reception. But being a lady is not a temporary phenomenon, it is a way of life that is absorbed with mother’s milk and develops throughout the entire period of growing up. And receiving compliments and flowers as confirmation of her external and internal attractiveness is pleasant for any woman.
That is why the mother’s personal example will be the main teaching factor. If the mother is always neat at home, at work, and on a walk, in clean, ironed clothes, with hair and makeup, the daughter will unconsciously try to copy the image and behavior of her mother.
Ekaterina, 28 years old, Alisa’s mother, 5 years old:
“I always try to keep my appearance, wherever I am. At home, no curlers, holey robes and stretched sweatpants. Of course, in our family they don’t dress up in cocktail dresses for dinner, but neatness and tidiness are a must. I draw the attention of my daughter, if a dirty stain has appeared on her clothes, she must understand that this is ugly. Tousled hair is not allowed. That is, if during an active game the tails have blossomed, we will definitely correct them. Alice herself comes and asks to do it. In addition, I try to instill taste in my daughter, we go to the store to choose clothes together. I explain what goes well with what and what is best never to wear. I would like to convey to the child’s mind that fashion and style are completely different concepts, I think that over time it will be learned. And the time will come – I will teach you how to use cosmetics in order to avoid ridiculous, funny situations when girls wear makeup in such a way that they don’t look like girls. “
Behavior
Even the most beautiful dress and sophisticated hairstyle will not produce an effect if the girl does not know how to behave in the company of other people. Introduce your daughter to the basics of etiquette, teach politeness. Do not be afraid that it will be difficult, children learn new information quickly enough. It is worth explaining to the girl the importance of good manners, correct speech, and a smile as early as possible.
Maria, mother of Julia, 4 years old:
“My mother is a teacher, so in our family it was never accepted to be rude, to use obscene words. And now my mother helps me to instill in Yulia the skills of correct, competent speech. And I see that it is natural for a child to say that. Sometimes my daughter “brings” words from the street or from the kindergarten, but we gently explain that these are bad words, well-bred children should not say them. And Julia understands this without swearing and slaps on the lips. “
Elena, 30 years old, Christina’s mother, 6 years old:
“When we were looking for a kindergarten, we chose the one with etiquette classes. I think it is important for a future woman to know how to behave correctly with others, at a table, in someone else’s house, how to receive guests, how to maintain a conversation. Children are distinguished from adults by their immediate reaction, but at the right time, manners must change. What was touching in a baby looks disgusting in an older child. Poking your nose, shouting, tantrums and whims are unacceptable, you cannot interrupt elders, talk with a full mouth. In the classroom, children are taught this. In the kindergarten, they act out situations, and in the form of a game, the assimilation of such non-childish information is easy and fun. Christina is already teaching us at home. “
Thrift
Nothing develops respect for work like helping mom around the house. Children start taking the initiative quite early, so don’t ruin this zeal. Let the cleaning take 2 hours longer and the dishes are not washed as thoroughly as you would like. It is always possible to slowly correct deficiencies or share responsibilities. But your little hostess will see how important her help is to her mother.
Olga, 34 years old, Olesya’s mother, 4,5 years old:
“My daughter had a toy iron, a vacuum cleaner, a washing machine early on. Seeing me doing housework, she first repeated the actions in the game, and then began to help me. For example, Olesya copes well with sorting laundry for washing, knows how to press the program buttons on a real washing machine. We wash the floor together. Of course, my daughter spills more water than washes, but every time she gets better. When we cook, Olesya can stir eggs with flour for pancakes, chop vegetables under my control, roll the chicken in breadcrumbs. The child can do these simple actions. And the moral benefit from them is even greater – now we litter much less, monitor the cleanliness of our clothes, and the dishes prepared with the participation of our daughter are eaten with great enthusiasm ”.
Leisure
An important role in the upbringing of a lady is played by what your daughter has a penchant for. It is believed that girls should only practice dancing, painting or music. But this is a really outdated concept of harmonious development. Of course, it is important for a future woman to understand literature, painting, cinema, and know a foreign language. But in fact, girls are interested in much more, they can show their abilities, for example, in wrestling, in any other sport, to be engaged in a circle of radio or car enthusiasts. Watch your princess, consider her desires and help her express herself. After all, success in what they love and the pride of parents, like nothing else, increase the baby’s self-esteem and develop self-confidence.
Alena, 32 years old, Sofia’s mother, 8 years old:
“When my daughter was born, I decided to make all my dreams come true in her. And from the age of 3, she began to take her to all available circles – dancing, to vocal and theater studios. At first Sonya liked it, and then the whims began. I could not understand what was the matter. In the end, we dropped everything. But when school began, Sonya, following the example of her classmate, wanted to study in the pool. Unexpectedly, abilities were revealed that we did not even know about! My daughter wins competitions and is even a candidate for the future Olympic swimming team. The main thing is that it was her choice, Sonya is very responsible for her studies, she already knows how to organize her day. I think these qualities will greatly help her in the future. “
Social status
In play, the child learns life. Transferring real situations into their children’s entertainment, the child, as it were, tastes what it means to be an adult.
The most common toy for girls is, after all, a doll. Manipulating them allows you to prepare for future motherhood. However, toys of different directions are useful for girls – cars, puzzles, animals, sets of doctors, cooks, etc. After all, in the modern world, a woman is not only a wife and mother, she also drives a car, works as a veterinarian, conducts research, and even serves in the army. Explain in childhood how to play this or that role, and then, as an adult, your daughter will experience much less hesitation when choosing a life path.
Irina, Veronica’s mother, 5 years old:
“Girls love different toys. And this is their fundamental difference from boys: girls can love to play with boy’s toys – cars, pistols, and this is considered normal, while boys playing with dolls evoke strange emotions. Nevertheless, it is in playing with dolls that girls “rehearse life” – future motherhood, social roles. With baby dolls, Veronica does everything that I do with my youngest child: she bathes them, puts them to bed, takes them for a walk in a stroller. Barbie dolls allow you to arrange games into adulthood. And here I often observe our home situations. It is interesting to look at our family from the outside. Sometimes I notice unpleasant moments that were not noticed in real life, but in my daughter’s game floated out. Then I take note of where we, the parents, should behave differently. I think these games are useful for both children and adults. “
Intelligence and education
True ladies are always well educated. And it starts from an early age. Most people now have the opportunity to use the Internet or educational cable channels, where there are many educational programs and cartoons. This is a great help for parents in the difficult task of teaching children. Explain to your daughter the difference between a useful cartoon and a stupid one. The sooner she learns to think and reason, the sooner her opinion begins to form, the more interesting your princess will become.
But do not forget that from a medical point of view, the duration of TV viewing is 15 minutes in the morning and 15 minutes in the evening.
Nadezhda, 26 years old, mother of Valeria, 3,5 years old:
“My husband and I have never paid attention to the age marker. Every year we bought Lera books and construction sets for three-year-olds. It seems to me that is why at two years old my daughter could easily distinguish almost all letters and numbers. Educational cartoons are also of great help. Such concepts as “closer – further”, “higher – lower”, “more – less” and others, Lera learned quite early. And it’s good to speak in detailed sentences too early. Now she has already developed an evaluative attitude towards many things and situations, she understands which cartoon character behaves well and which one is bad. Of course, TV does not replace books and live communication, but still it is a great help. Some of the issues are explained there better than we parents could have done. Sometimes I even overhear advice and ideas from developmental programs, and then use them when the opportunity arises. “
You can paint as many qualities as possible for future ladies. But whatever you do, remember to love your princess. Tell your daughter how important she is to you, how beautiful, smart and, most importantly, unique. Develop individuality, because it is this quality that brings up personality. In an atmosphere of love and understanding, it will be easier for your daughter to make the right decisions for her, and the task of the parents is to guide and prompt in time.