Mobile, hyperactive, obnoxious…

Some of these definitions clearly carry a negative assessment, others are more neutral … This list of epithets can be continued, but you already understood what kind of child we are talking about. Experts refer to this behavior as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).

Studies show that this syndrome occurs in about 20 percent of school-age children, with boys four times more likely than girls. Such children are characterized by constant restlessness, problems with concentration, impulsivity, «uncontrollable» behavior.

The «unbearableness» of these children even at preschool age causes a lot of trouble for others — parents, educators, peers. With admission to school, the problems are aggravated and can accompany such a child for almost the entire school life.

As for his future, adult life, the forecasts are not at all unambiguous. Optimists argue that leaders and entrepreneurs grow out of hyperactive people. But there is evidence that about a quarter of these children experience difficulties throughout their lives. It is possible that in adolescence, the described symptoms can lead to the emergence of antisocial behavior, various addictions.

The problem also lies in the fact that in a family raising such a child, chronic fatigue occurs (especially among mothers), sometimes reaching mental exhaustion. This is often associated with a sense of powerlessness and guilt for the behavior of one’s own child.

What advice would you give to parents of an active child?

• First, it is worth getting the advice of a specialist (children’s neuropathologist or psychoneurologist). It is important to determine whether we are really dealing with hyperactivity syndrome. After all, mobility is a natural quality of a normally developing, cheerful child. An accurate diagnosis (whether there is ADHD or not) will help to understand what kind of help our “unbearable” needs from adults. It can also be a qualified drug effect. And yet the greatest effect is given by the special organization of the conditions for the education of such a child and simply by understanding the natural features of his mental make-up.
• To do this, you need to take the second step — to establish contact with a child psychologist. He will tell you how to correct the child’s behavior with an adequate attitude towards him in the family and at school. It could be a whole program of help. If this is the psychologist of the school where your child is studying, he can directly convey the recommendations to his teachers. In addition, a qualified psychologist will provide the necessary support to the mother or other relatives in overcoming the negative feelings that arise when raising a hyperactive son or daughter.

How to help a hyperactive student?

• Take into account such a characteristic property of his mental activity as cyclicity. This means that the periods of productive work of the brain are short (up to 15 minutes), they must be alternated with periods of rest. This is easy to do when doing homework. The teacher will have to explain that from time to time his ward may “fall out” of the course of the lesson. And not at all because of the desire to annoy his teacher. The «recession» will again be followed by a period of sufficient performance, you just need to slightly direct the child into the mainstream of the lesson by repeating some thought, etc.
• Do not make a problem out of the fact that the child often does not write down homework in class or does not write it down correctly. You can get out of the situation by learning the tasks from the teacher or more «responsible» classmates.
• If such a child attends an after-school group, weigh the pros and cons. The arguments «against» may outweigh: noise, the inability to be alone (and the hyperactive has such a need); the educator is unlikely to be able to give the necessary individual attention when preparing lessons, etc.
• Parents will have to play the main role in teaching such a child up to a certain school age (usually up to grade 5). This means that help should be provided not only with homework. Sometimes it is worth re-explaining the material that should have been learned in the lesson. Reproaches of slovenliness are useless here, it is better to gradually fill in the gaps that have already been made. In general, it is desirable to create a certain reserve with the child, somewhat looking ahead of the curriculum. This will allow him to more easily learn the «new» material when it is explained in class.
• As for the timing when it is optimal to lead these children to school — from the age of six or from the age of seven, this is a rather controversial issue. There is no guarantee that the recommendation to postpone the start of schooling until the age of seven, much less until the age of eight, will live up to our expectations. In any case, this issue is resolved individually with the help of specialists — doctors and psychologists.
• As the brain matures, the severity of the described behavioral and learning problems is smoothed out. But the effect is worth waiting for if systematic and competent work with such children is carried out for several years.

How to behave with a hyperactive, mobile child? How to respond to his behavior and actions?

• First of all, you need to learn to refrain from constant remarks, constant attempts to interfere in his stormy activities. Often we use pressure and control even when the child does not do anything reprehensible — we act simply out of habit.
• Stop constantly limiting his activity, initiative. By this, adults achieve rather than obedience, but indifference, disinterest, which can subsequently manifest itself in school failures.
• Provide more autonomy in business. Before forbidding something, think: what terrible thing will happen if a son or daughter acts in his own way?
• Refuse harsh criticism and obsessive advice on how you could do better. Praise even for subtle, but positive changes.
• Try to ensure that school life and homework do not become a heavy duty for a mobile child. Otherwise, he will show independence and experience joy only at his leisure. Choose an interesting curriculum for him, diversify his classes at home.
• Provide more opportunities to express themselves — in sports, in school theater, in earning pocket money, etc.

And one more thing: often a school, «exhausted» by the behavior of a hyperactive child, offers parents to transfer him as far as possible from his «native» walls — be it another school, a specialized class or home schooling. It is possible that in some cases such a transfer will be justified and will be a boon for your son or daughter. By itself, hyperactivity cannot justify a transfer. The decision should be made by parents after consultation with specialists (pediatrician, pediatric neurologist, psychologist, possibly psychiatrist).