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Is it true that in the Middle Ages sex was banned almost 240 days a year? How was sex written and talked about in that dark age? And by the way, how did they do it? And what did the church think about all this? Rosalie Gilbert, an enthusiastic researcher of everyday life in medieval Europe for many years, provides answers to these questions in her book The Intimate Middle Ages.
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women and sex
In medieval Europe, it was considered unacceptable for a woman to enjoy sexual relations. Sex is what she had to endure for the sake of procreation. Since it was impossible to completely ban sex, the church imposed clear restrictions on when and where it should be practiced. Prior to this, spouses copulated wherever and whenever they wanted, which, from the point of view of churchmen, is no good.
Procreation is a business, and like any good business, it needs to be regulated. So the church has clearly described a number of situations where a woman is strictly forbidden to have sex, even with her lawful husband.
When is it forbidden to have sex?
Sex in the Middle Ages was banned on Wednesdays and Fridays for no apparent reason. Apparently, the choice fell on them by chance, since sexual activity on these days of the week does not contradict any religious traditions. Perhaps the church decided that sex would prevent the couple from spending Friday night at church, but we are unlikely to ever know for sure.
On Saturday, any activity in the bedroom was also strictly prohibited. Abstinence on Sundays was considered an immutable law. No sex, period. Burchard of Worms, a bishop from the city of Worms in the Holy Roman Empire, writes that the punishment for Sunday sex is forty days on bread and water. On this day, people should communicate exclusively with the Lord, and not with spouses.
It turns out that the ban was in effect four days a week. In a year, there were 208 days when husbands and wives were required to say a resolute “no” to carnal pleasures. According to the church, all holidays dedicated to saints were also excluded. Another minus 60 days a year.
But there were other official holidays when people had the time and opportunity to indulge in the sin of lust, and this had to be stopped somehow in a smart way. As a result, all forty days of Great Lent were prescribed to be spent in reverent thoughts about the sublime – no activity in the bedroom after dark. The same was true of the twenty days of Advent, and the twenty days of Pentecost, and the entire week of the Trinity, as well as the week of Easter.
Together, an impressive figure was obtained – about 240 days a year, no sex. Eight more should be added to the already listed forbidden days. A woman could not have sex with her husband eight days before he received the sacrament of communion.
Another taboo is sex during menstruation, which takes another forty to sixty days a year on average. And no sex during pregnancy and breastfeeding.
Where it was forbidden to have sex
With the same vehemence, the church handed out instructions regarding inappropriate places for sex. What were these restricted areas?
Common sense dictates that all public places were treated as such. Sex was forbidden within the walls of the church, during daylight hours and with a completely naked woman. At the same time, in principle, the missionary position was considered the only permitted position for love pleasures. The punishment for breaking the rule was quite harsh – forty days on bread and water.
And now the story of the real trial.
Amy Martinmass of Sharnford
One court case from the Episcopal Court Book of the Diocese of Lincoln, which was considered in September 1516, tells of the misdeeds of a certain Amy, who committed several sins at once. She sinned with a priest at an unacceptable time in an unacceptable place, and she had to pay the price for her rashness.
The punishment was public. The woman had to pass in public three times on different days and in different places, dressed in only one shirt, with her head, feet and ankles bare, holding a burning candle in her hand. The priest did not suffer any punishment. In general, the practice of court cases showed that the prohibitions on sex in the church did not apply to priests, since they were never punished for it.
Dark times
The ban on sex during daylight hours made practical sense. While the sun was moving across the sky, a woman should have been doing housework either in the house or outside its walls. Since the windows in the houses were very small, and the internal lighting was usually scarce and very expensive, it was necessary to do the maximum work during the daytime hours. Spending them on an activity that might lead to more mouths was considered a waste of precious time—a much better time spent on household chores.
Not having sex during pregnancy is the easiest to understand, even though it’s not a very fair rule. After the fetus moved and the pregnancy was confirmed, intimate relationships were punished – twenty days on bread and water. Seemingly light compared to many others, it was unlikely to have a good effect on the health of the expectant mother. If a pregnant woman was tormented by morning toxicosis, such a meager diet could greatly aggravate her suffering.
As we have already said, they did not have sex during breastfeeding. The risk that the milk will run out is unacceptable, and it is also impossible to conceive the next baby during the period when the already born baby is completely dependent on the mother. Poor families breastfed longer than rich families. It was considered right to do this for at least a year and a half, but for the poor, the term could stretch up to two years.
Sex during menstruation
From the church’s point of view, menstruation was definitely considered an inappropriate time to undress in front of a husband and have sex, but for this sin it was supposed to make a relatively simple penance – spend ten days on bread and water.
The church penitential book, written by Bede the Venerable around the year 700, not only forbade a man to get close to a woman during her “critical days”, but also prescribed, in case of violation, to spend forty days on water and bread.
Those who practiced medicine at that time believed that menstrual blood was poisonous and could spoil sperm. The science of the time insisted that sexual intercourse during menstruation led to the birth of a child with deformities and many terrible diseases – leprosy, epilepsy, or even worse. It was believed that after such an act, the baby could even be born … red-haired.
How to have sex
The missionary position was considered the only correct and approved by the church way. For those who didn’t know what to do or what it was, the manuscripts helpfully provided illustrative material.
The most intelligible of all books containing such drawings is the most famous medieval medical treatise on healthy living, Tacuinum Sanitatus. Coition in this book is depicted in a color illustration as follows: a man and a woman in bed are covered with an almost transparent coverlet, allowing the reader to see the position of the legs of both partners, required for successful, correct conception.
No other sex positions were recommended. The prohibitions were based on the ideas of the then medicine about the human body and its reproductive system. If the woman is on top, the male seed will not go in the right direction and conception will become impossible, which will make the whole act a waste of time.
The retro canino pose, that is, like a dog, was also considered sinful, because it imitates the behavior of animals, and the one who resorted to it must repent after spending the next ten days on bread and water. Any position that reduces the chance of childbearing was considered sinful. But despite the fact that there was only one pose recommended and approved by the church, in medieval literature there were enough pictures with forbidden options.
Source – Rosalie Gilbert’s book “The Intimate Middle Ages” (MyF, 2021)