Milla Jovovich: “I’m not afraid to be a child”

Milla Jovovich often exclaims. There are a lot of exclamation points in the transcript of our interview. And it’s not that she insisted, persuaded, pressed – on the contrary, these are mainly exclamations of amazement. Milla Jovovich wonders about her life. And life in general. She obviously knows how to appreciate her and treats her with taste and appetite … About the same with which she now bites off a large part of a chicken burrito in the garden of the Polo Lounge restaurant in the Beverly Hills hotel, where we meet. “Love this place! she says, chewing and wiping her lips. “Not because of the kitchen, not because of the pathos here. Because of the flowers. Do you know what they are called? Bougainvillea! And because of the atmosphere. The spirit of the 50s is preserved here, the spirits of the 50s are hovering – luxurious and elegant Hollywood. Stars were created here and great films were conceived, don’t you feel it? I look around the setting – white garden furniture with curlicue vignettes, starched tablecloths, fuchsias of the most desperate “fuchsia color” on the tables in vases and all around, waiters in virgin white and visitors – who are in business Brioni, symbolizing the hard path to career success, and those in casual jeans and T-shirts – these have clearly achieved success … And I don’t feel the spirit of the 50s. But I shift my gaze to my interlocutor, I see her transparent gambling eyes, a funny mess of red hair over the face of a perfect oval, how she wrinkles her nose and bites the burrito again … And I feel cheerful. Because she’s having fun, because she loves the combination of white and hot pink so girly here, because she takes a bite of a burrito – no, not even with appetite, even with courage. Her amusement is infectious. “Really great place!” I say with conviction, also putting a distinct exclamation point at the end of the phrase.

Psychologies: I am very pleased to see you so cheerful and cheerful today. A colleague of mine met with you many years ago. You were a teenager, but already a top model and a star. He tried to interview you about your first big movie role, in Return to the Blue Lagoon. And then he described your meeting as a real battle scene – you threw a bowl of ice cream that you didn’t like on the expensive sofa of a five-star hotel, sabotaged the most harmless questions … A colleague said something like: “The girl just hates herself and everything that is with her happening. Otherwise, she would not behave like a capricious diva!

Milla Jovovich: Oh, he really caught me in one of the fateful moments of my youth! I protested! I rebelled! I have risen! And everyone got it – from mom to very innocent victims like your friend.

What did you rebel against?

M. J .: And what do they rebel against at sixteen? But, of course, my case was special… I lived under pressure, under pressure. You know, my parents left the USSR. I grew up in America. But I grew up the daughter of emigrants – we had nothing, we had to achieve everything ourselves. Mom was a famous actress at home in Kiev, and in California she became a cleaner. It was all her sacrifice to my future. I studied ballet, tap dancing, playing the piano, took acting lessons, from the age of six I was taken to auditions – my future was hammered into me. When I was already a teenager, already a model, after shooting with photographer Richard Avedon, after I became the face of Revlon, I started wearing piles of university brochures from school, my mother was adamant: “Forget it. You will be a movie star! People go to university to find work. You already have a job. Get the most out of it.” My mother raised me in her own way. It was a typical Russian upbringing – without fantasies and illusions, practical. It implies that you are an extension of your parents, their little shadow. I was never messed with, treated like a princess. Mom never told me I was pretty or anything special. And she criticized me more than praised me – another characteristic feature of a typically Russian upbringing. And in general, the Russian trait is to criticize the one you love.

Do you still feel Russian?

M. J .: Of course I’m Russian! I am an American actress, but the person is rather Russian. My daughter and I speak Russian, and this is the main indicator of national identity – what language do you speak with your child. Yes, I received a very Russian, practical, earthly upbringing. The idea was that a child should not be allowed to be completely sure of himself. Discipline was above all. Which is understandable: the daughter of emigrants, who can only rely on herself, must get used to discipline. And I was an extremely disciplined child.

Until a certain point, as far as I know…

M. J .: Yes, once I rebelled! I began to be afraid of my mother’s expectations, they put pressure on me – she sacrificed too much for me so that I would not justify her hopes! She hoped that I would embody what she failed, that I would become what she did not become! I thought – and I still think it’s normal – that I should do everything to provide for our family, that I should become someone if we came as nobody! Inwardly, I devoted myself to the future of our family, its prosperity. We must have the best life! I was six years old, we had just moved to America, and at night I heard my mother crying. And then I promised myself that I would work, work and work so that my mother would never cry again! .. Until a certain moment it was so natural … But believe me, when you are fifteen, such obligations are a terrible burden … I just blew up question: is this what I do, did I choose it myself or did my mother choose it for me? .. In my rebellion, I was brave and radical. Adjusted for my financial situation.

If other girls at my age, having quarreled with their parents, went to spend the night with a girlfriend, then I resolutely declared: “OK, guys, I’m buying my own apartment and moving out from you!” And she really bought it, moved out, buzzed with rappers and rockers, smoked “weed”, even got married at lightning speed – in Vegas, of course. Mom then terminated this marriage – I was only sixteen, she had the right, but I was no longer against it.

So what made you stop the protests?

M. J .: You know I’ve always worked. And, no matter how I buzzed in the evening, I knew for sure that in the morning I should fly to Paris or Milan and be fresh and fit – this is what it means to be a model. This work ethic, work discipline has always been strong in me. But at the age of thirteen, I became a real Black Queen – all in drama, wrote extremely depressing songs, dreamed of gothic and sang self-destruction. And by the age of sixteen she decided to devote herself to music. She quit both modeling and cinema. In general, she left everything and rushed to London – to the most advanced musical front. And thus for a while … she pulled away from her life. I recorded an album, promoting it, performed in clubs and all sorts of holes, where everyone chewed and they didn’t care about me with a guitar. And re-evaluate what you have given up. This is how my rebellion ended. For some, youthful revolutions end with a reassessment of values, and for me, with a return of values. Thank God I lost the war for myself! It is impossible to shoot bowls at Art Deco sofas for a long time, sooner or later normal priorities are restored.

What are normal priorities?

M. J .: The ones in the books. I read all the time. Tudor architecture, Stuart history, Dostoyevsky, Nietzsche, Marquez, and up to Progressive Strategies for Raising Your Child… Everything and all the time. It turns out that I started working at the age of eleven, and I know life mainly from books … And I don’t think that I don’t know it. And kremanki flew, probably because I did not allow myself to live my childhood to the end. To be a capricious child… It’s funny, but now I’m more of a child than then – now I’m not afraid to be one… I build dollhouses – with all the utensils, pans, cabinets … I have dozens of them – a hobby. And I download Soviet cartoons from the 60s and 70s from the Internet …

I mean, do you believe in partnership, a union of equals?

M. J .: That’s it. And I not only believe, but also put the idea into practice. I finally succeed.

In your current relationship, married? May I ask why only now?

M. J .: I’ve been thinking about this myself. When she started dating a rock star – the guitarist of the Red Hot Chili Peppers. That’s when I realized I couldn’t be a rocker’s girlfriend. Nature is not the same, nature … The degree of emotionality is increased, reactions … sparkling, if you define them gently. And I can’t…belong! By and large, that is why before Paul (Paul Anderson – Jovovich’s husband, film director. – Approx. Ed.), My relationship, and with different people, lasted two or three years, all of them were extremely short. The vast majority of men tend to desire to possess. But they tend to deceive themselves. At first, they were always fascinated by my independence, that I was always busy with something, that I shot for magazines and wrote songs, that I walked the catwalk and acted in films, that I was young and wow, that I occupy a certain place and was not poor, that I didn’t care. I don’t need anything from them, except, in fact, themselves … And then they began to resent exactly what I liked about me before. Reproaches were used: “You are always busy”, “You canceled our trip because of work”, “You did not call when I was waiting for your call”. I hate the phone! It seemed to me that since I rely on a person and consider him the main thing in my life, I can do what I like, what I consider necessary. But it never worked. This is most likely my fault, but the fact is that I always hoped that the man next to me would be generous enough to make some space for my freedom. And everything happened the other way around: the partners tried to make me feel guilty, anxious, uncomfortable.

Now the hopes were justified?

M. J .: Yes. Paul doesn’t need to have all of me. He is exceptionally delicate. He is a strong man and therefore does not find me too assertive, too independent. He is characterized by such a special directorial calmness – when you are responsible for too much, you should at least be balanced and calm inside yourself. And he is calm. That’s why we’ve been together for so many years. Ten! But, of course, this is not the only reason. Second … There is nothing to hide – I am a passionate person. I want to do a lot of things, I get carried away, I take on everything. Anyway, my whole life is just a variety of work. What does it mean: we should be connected with a partner by a common cause, by what is essential for both of us. And if it’s not, I don’t even know what to talk about with him. I like a relationship where he says one thing, just like that, in chatter, I say another, he answers me, and – boom! We made a movie! Or shooting for a magazine. Or a song. In general, I could never imagine myself in a romance … for example, with a doctor. Hell, even with myself Dr. House!

But in general, it turns out that you appreciate in a man his ability to restrain, dose his love for you …

M. J .: On the contrary – the ability not to be afraid if a woman nearby feels good! Do not assume that her self-confidence, demand separate you. It is this kind of generosity that makes a man attractive in my eyes.

What do you like about women?

M. J .: You know, all the women to whom people are disposed are in agreement with themselves. They have accepted themselves and therefore do not carry their precious ego in front of them at outstretched arms, which needs more and more victims, whether it be a new man or a new bag for five thousand bucks. Women who know their own worth do not exaggerate or underestimate it. There are so many people in the world who hate themselves and their lives! So when you meet a person in genuine harmony with yourself, you yourself find balance. And a person who communicates calmness and confidence … what could be more attractive?

* The film “Freaks” by Levan Gabriadze with Milla Jovovich in one of the main roles (and in the other two – Ivan Urgant and Konstantin Khabensky)