A mentally strong person is a person both sincere and strong at the same time. Most often, this is the name of people who are able to bear the mental burden, steadfastly overcome life’s difficulties, but who have developed this ability on the basis of strong love or high duty.
Let us emphasize this: in contrast to simply persistent and courageous people, those who at the same time know how to love are called mentally strong. Stupid and narrow-minded people can also steadfastly overcome life’s difficulties, but stupid obstinacy and spiritual strength are not the same thing.
Maria Volkonskaya went to Siberia for her Decembrist husband, not because she was accustomed to dutifully follow her female lot. Everyone dissuaded her, but she made her own decision and shared hard labor with the one she loved.
Mother Teresa rose daily at 3.30 am and looked after the sick, repeating the prayer: “… Lord, help me to honor the good of my neighbor above my own. May I labor to understand him, and not seek understanding from him, may I labor to love him, and not seek his love… But she was not a dumb fanatic, but a wise businessman, philosopher and poet. Read her poetry!
Like any ability, mental strength is trained. He set high goals, learned to overcome life’s difficulties — gained spiritual strength. He got away from difficulties — he taught himself to give up.
Another clarification: a mentally strong person and a strong personality are not the same thing. If mental strength is manifested in the ability to bear the mental load, in overcoming life’s difficulties, then personal strength is manifested in a clash with other strong personalities, in the ability to be stronger in a direct personal collision.
Abraham Lincoln is a famous example of a mentally strong person: Lincoln lost 18 elections before becoming President of the United States. We can say that failures have pursued him all his life, but he repeatedly rose and stubbornly went forward, remaining in the memory of the country as the most worthy of all American presidents. Some events in his life:
- 1831 — Lincoln failed in business, declared bankrupt;
- 1832 — defeated in elections to the legislative chamber of his state;
- 1834 — again went bankrupt in business and was again declared bankrupt:
- 1835 -1836 — personal failures and, as a result, a severe nervous breakdown, was treated for a long time;
- 1838 — was defeated in the next election;
- 1843, 1846, 1848 — defeated in elections to the US Congress;
- 1855 — defeated in elections to the Senate;
- 1856 — defeated as a candidate for vice president of the United States;
- 1858 — defeated in elections to the Senate;
- 1860 — Elected President of the United States.
The textbook slogan of a mentally strong person was formulated by Winston Churchill: “Success is not final, failures are not fatal. What matters is the courage to continue!” Having failed the Battle of the Dardanelles in 1915 and causing the death of one hundred and twenty thousand people, he did not give up. In 1940, he became Prime Minister of England, defended his country and led the anti-Hitler coalition with Roosevelt and Stalin.
Mental strength is a characteristic of a person-personality who lives not by momentary emotions, but by reason, will and high values. At the same time, it is not uncommon for a person who is mentally strong in one situation to show mental weakness in another. In a situation of challenge and in a collision with external life difficulties, men are more often found to be stronger, and in situations of long internal stress, they are the first to break down. Women are more stress-resistant than men, more easily tolerate stress and breakdown in relationships (although it seems often the opposite seems to be the case). Where men rise to the challenge and try to resolve the issue directly, head-on, by force, women show great flexibility. Sometimes this is assessed as a woman’s wisdom, sometimes as a woman’s weakness. Men do not like to give up and often break down as a result; the girls seem to give up, but inwardly continue to resist. Girls often portray mental weakness where men boast of their mental strength.
This is hardly a natural feature, to a greater extent it is a question of upbringing: boys are ashamed to be afraid and crying is not accepted, girls can cry and be afraid — it’s normal. Moreover, men like girls, next to whom they feel strong, and girls are happy to play along with them, pretend to be weak — and get used to being weak.
However, over the past few decades, due to the fact that male upbringing is disappearing and boys are raised mainly by mothers, there are fewer and fewer men among grown-up boys, fortitude and mental strength are less and less characteristic of them. When men do not show masculine qualities, women have to show them, and more and more women with masculine behavior and masculine mental structure become: women are strong and persistent.