Mental health: how to maintain peace of mind when everything is collapsing around?

When we live in ordinary circumstances, we build around ourselves a house of cards, which consists of the prevailing ideas about ourselves and the world. When a strong wind begins to blow, this house crumbles … And then we find that the old schemes do not work, and our internal problems, which we previously managed to hide behind external comfort, now require enhanced study. How to live such a crisis period without psychological losses?

ACCEPT YOURSELF IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO LEAVE EVERYTHING AS IS — WHERE DO WE PUT A COMMA? 

Now it is especially important to listen and hear yourself, because external negativity in difficult circumstances only strengthens the internal one. Don’t deny or mask your emotions — that way they won’t go anywhere! A person who suppresses feelings and emotions in himself will simply not be able to steadfastly withstand external storms and hurricanes.

What can we not accept in ourselves?

• Positive feelings (“you can’t be happy because someone somewhere is unhappy”);

• negative feelings;

• Qualities and features of appearance;

• Something from our life.

Why is this happening? 

• We have not been trained to accept ourselves;

• We have been trained not to accept ourselves;

• Having a traumatic past experience.

HOW TO LEARN TO ACCEPT YOURSELF? 

The good news is that you can always change your inner state. Yes, it takes time and effort, but it’s real.

Think about it and honestly answer the following questions: 

• In what situations do you not accept yourself? What do they have in common? 

• Have you always failed to accept yourself? If not, at what point did you stop? Stop at that thought — what was that moment?

• What is stopping you from accepting yourself right now? In other words, how does rejection of yourself help you: what allows you to do/not do? Why not accept yourself to make you more comfortable and safer?  

The next step on the road to self-acceptance is working on self-image.

All negative attitudes about yourself:

• I am a bad/terrible person;

• I don’t deserve love;

• I’m a loser and can’t get what I want;

• I cannot trust myself/others;

• I’m to blame for everything. 

… you need to change in your head to positive ones: 

• I am a good person;

• I am worthy of love;

• I can succeed;

• I can trust myself/others;

• I can make mistakes. 

Such work should be continuous — set yourself up for a positive self-image: “Do I deserve? Yes, I deserve it! Also, work on your limiting settings.

For example, as a child, your parents told you that for some reason you were not supposed to have a toy. Over time, this developed into a negative attitude that you are unworthy of a good job, a car. As a child, this setting was useful because it removed the feeling of anxiety, but why do you, an adult, need it now? 

DEAL WITH EMOTIONS 

Sometimes, when we are drowning in negativity, it seems to us that these emotions have no limit. However, in reality there are not as many of them as we think. So, the Australian scientist Cal Bunyan calculated that there are only eight negative feelings! And here’s what’s behind them: 

1. Sadness — recover the loss for yourself.

2. Offense — restore justice for yourself.

3. Fault — restore justice for others.

4. Anger — neutralize pain, protect borders.

5. Fear — restore security.

6. Shame — feel complete.

7. Loneliness — create meaningful relationships.

8. Boredom — Motivation for change.

And if you dig even deeper, it turns out that all other feelings most often rest on fear — the main trigger for triggering our anxiety. 

HOW TO CONTROL NEGATIVE EMOTIONS? 

There are different ways to get your negative emotions under control. Here are some practices that will help the brain switch and forget about stress:

balance wheel 

A visualization that allows you to evaluate achievements in each of the areas of your life. Find a chart online and fill it out. See if you get an even circle. If not, then note where you need changes. 

Breathing in a square 

Imagine a square in front of you. For four counts, inhale as if you are rising from the lower left corner upwards, for the next four, exhale, moving from left to right along the upper side. Etc. 

Senseless account 

Read it yourself or have someone nearby do it for you. This technique is effective in helping with panic attacks. 

Hour of alarm 

You diagnose your anxiety, but consciously choose to think about it at certain times. For example, at 18:00 on Saturday. And when that time comes, sit down and worry with all your might. As a rule, such forced suffering is not possible for more than two weeks. 

Dealing with money anxiety

Write down on paper what is the minimum amount you need to survive (food, life-saving medicines for yourself and loved ones, and so on). Now indicate next to your monthly current income, surely it is higher than this amount? Our fear is always on the brink of survival. Therefore, if you understand that you can always earn the minimum amount for life, this is certainly good news!