There are men who can talk openly about their sexual bloopers. Some even tell their friends about the recent prostate checkup from a doctor. However, such men are still rare. “Unfortunately,” says Dr. Jochen Hess of the University Clinic in Essen, Germany. A urologist, an advocate of openly talking about male impotence, encourages us to treat failures in sexual life with greater understanding. By the way, he explains whether it is possible to achieve a perfect erection and suggests how to achieve a satisfying sex life.
- “Every man has limitations on his ability to get an erection at some point in his life, but from a medical point of view this is not true erectile dysfunction.” Disorders can only be considered when they persist for more than six months
- A common reason men struggle with ED is because of chronic stress or a sudden, difficult event they experience
- Pressure from outside does not help either: from partners, colleagues, but also from advertising and pornographic content
- The urologist also answers the question of whether there are “norms” in terms of the size of male intimate parts
- More information can be found on the Onet homepage
Author: Clary Ott / Die Welt
Die Welt: Most women and men, when they hear about impotence, think about the problem of fertility and reaching orgasm. Meanwhile, it means something else, doesn’t it?
Dr Jochen Hess: We doctors talk about erectile dysfunction in this context, even though it is a very embarrassing term. Impotence is commonly understood as the inability to obtain and maintain an erection during sexual activity.
What exactly is a perfect erection?
The perfect erection is one that enables a man and his partner to have a satisfying sex life. A penis doesn’t have to be long, it doesn’t have to be fat, and it doesn’t have to be hard.
However, men often have different statistics on the size and duration of an erection on the back of their heads – and they yield to this pressure. What concerns do patients report in the urologist’s office?
The most common problem is stress. On the one hand, it may happen that a man has a problem with self-esteem – he no longer feels like a “full-fledged man” because he cannot achieve a proper erection. On the other hand, the fact that he cannot experience a satisfying sex life can strain the relationship he lives in.
- Also read: A new way to deal with erection problems. One lifestyle change can help
It sounds like a vicious circle: first you can’t, then you don’t talk to your partner, so the partner feels rejected and eventually the person concerned withdraws sexually, suppressing the fact that there may be a physical ailment behind it that can be remedied.
Communication is a very big problem – with a partner, but also with medical staff who can help. But even though most men are aware of the problem and say to themselves, “Oh gosh, I can’t get an erection,” they avoid saying it out loud. This leads to a certain pressure – internal, but also external, exerted by other people.
Further part below the video.
To what extent is the pressure coming from outside?
Just look around the city: there are posters and advertisements everywhere to ensure that men can do it anytime, anywhere, and for as long as they want. And when it is not communicated directly and immediately, it subtly resonates, for example in a car advertisement. Men think they need to keep up. When they feel the first signs that their erection may not be as expected, they may find themselves under pressure.
You mentioned close friends, among them there are also men. Are you suggesting that they hide their weaknesses and only talk to each other about achievements? There is a conversation, but about the wrong things?
It’s often dodging. In relationships, they can also have serious consequences, for example, giving the partner a false signal that he is not so attractive. The partner may also think that he is being cheated on. This can make the problem worse, make it worse. If you can’t talk openly about him in a relationship or with a friend, it’s worth talking to your doctor at least.
Do men mention to you during the consultation that they are also under pressure from pornographic content?
Oh yes. From there the message flows that a man, in this case a man, must be able to do it at any time and for as long as he wants. The porn industry seems completely unrealistic, where the sexual act lasts up to an hour or more. In such a world, will a man admit to his colleagues that something went wrong, that he came too early or had some difficulties at the beginning? Will he talk about real sex? If no one shares such experiences first, no one will start. To begin with, you need a certain amount of mutual trust.
Luckily, you can dispel some myths here. What are common erection problems?
Erectile dysfunction occurs if it has been sustained consistently over a period of at least six months. Every man has limitations on the ability to get an erection at some point in his life, but from a medical standpoint, this is not true erectile dysfunction. Factors such as stress at work or in everyday life may play a role. Sometimes it is important to take medication, comorbidities. Erectile dysfunction is a problem that lasts and prevents a satisfying sex life.
How is erectile dysfunction diagnosed in men?
First there is a physical examination with an emphasis on the genitals as sometimes other factors lead to erectile dysfunction. We also do a blood test to check your hormone levels, especially testosterone. Its deficiency leads to a decrease in libido. Then we bring up psychological issues. Since when did the patient notice erectile dysfunction? What medications does he take? Did he experience any severe stress during this time? Some men admit they do. And that is often enough! Such a conversation can put the male world back on track and give knowledge of what is normal and what could be a problem. Many leave the office with obvious relief.
In addition to potency pills, there are several good technical methods. The vacuum pump is even refunded. How exactly does it work?
The vacuum apparatus has actually been a bit forgotten, and the principle of its operation is really simple. You can imagine it this way: it’s a plastic cylinder that slides over a penis. There is a small rubber ring at its end that seals the inner workings of this plastic cylinder. It is possible to create a vacuum in this cylinder by pressing a button. The air in the cylinder is sucked out, which stimulates the blood vessels; blood is automatically drawn into the penis. This lays the foundation for an erection.
When you get an erection, you pull off the plastic tube. A rubber ring can be used to prevent blood that has been sucked into the penis from flowing back out. Without any side or systemic effects on the body, it’s pure physics, and it’s very effective. However, it has to be said out loud: it’s not the most romantic thing you can imagine in a relationship.
- Also read: When masculinity fails. How to treat erectile dysfunction?
Unless you and your partner treat it like another sex toy.
Exactly. You can communicate openly with your partner and involve him in the matter.
There are no reliable statistics worldwide on what the average member should be. Men, therefore, exert a lot of pressure on themselves, although there are no “norms” in place. What do you think?
99 percent men who come to us with a desire to enlarge their penis, from a medical point of view, do not have a small penis at all.
And when is the penis “too small”?
For adult men, the penis measures less than seven centimeters when stretched as a tip.
What does “stretched” mean?
You take the glans between your fingers, pull and measure from the pubic area to the tip of the glans. Slightly obese men have a lot of body fat there. This means that their penis is not small at all, they just have a little more fat around it, an optical impression. If they only cut some body fat and lost weight, their genitals would be more satisfying for them.
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