Rented apartment, unstable income, discord in the family… Surviving a midlife crisis is especially difficult with such baggage. Making plans for the future and hoping for success is even more difficult. How to regain faith in yourself?
You know how it happens — you don’t think about anything sad, but you don’t want anything. Everything seems wrong. Plans for the future, which you think about at such a moment, are stained with skepticism. Because it won’t work and there’s no need … A call from an unknown number lifted me just from such an emotional bottom: “Congratulations, your mortgage application has been approved, let’s agree on the day of the transaction …” The story of bowing to the golden calf has entered a new round.
Crises of “different ages” are different for everyone. The main thing is to see the symptoms. At some point, I noticed that I forgot how to smile. I just lost this simple skill. There were many reasons for this, but one was the basis. I’ve lost faith in myself. I believe that I can be truly useful and successful. Several work failures, unstable business income, family discord. The last one was the hardest. Coming home from work, I felt the unspoken in the air: «You are a loser.»
I turned around, looked around and saw that it was so
I live at least in the center of Moscow, but in a rented apartment. The car, though not bad, but for the capital — so-so. I vacation abroad a couple of times a year, but I have to count the money on vacation. Although the business is growing, there are no super profits. And then the years slip by. Probably a familiar thought to many. But for me it’s wrong, I’m not used to being lagging behind, especially for loved ones. One thing was clear — something had to change.
And I decided that I needed a new home. Even if it’s a mortgage. As a business owner, I had to collect a huge dossier. Documents and people, clients and employees, employees of the HOA and the credit bureau spoke about my reliability and success. The final chord was the medical board in the insurance company. People in neat suits carefully examined me to see if I could last another 20 years. Until the mortgage is paid. We decided that I would. And they gave out a piece of paper in addition to the three hundred already collected sheets.
I sit in front of a thick folder with documents for a mortgage, in fact — with a bunch of evidence of my own success, and I think: “But you have achieved a lot. Why do you have to endure people and circumstances? Why have you been carrying everything on your own for the past few years and put up with the feeling that those closest to you are using you?
And before I had finished thinking about all this, I found the divorce lawyer’s phone number in my notebook…
Further it was easier. With the awkward and inadvertent help of the bank, I suddenly began to believe in myself again. And he began to smile. Not immediately, but love and trust appeared in my life again. Business began to bring more money. And so much so that bondage was repaid not in 20, but in 5 years. Yes, and the former wife is quite happy. She made the right conclusions and was able to build a new happy family. No extra accusations.
It turned out what happened. Finding a new meaning, I took on a new responsibility. And he built not just a house, but a new self. Here is such a catharsis through a loan broker.