“This is another long-standing misconception,” says French psychoanalyst and sexologist Catherine Blanc. — It is very convenient for us, as it easily explains the problems with achieving sexual harmony, male infidelity and female fatigue. But scientifically this myth is not confirmed.
There are several reasons for this misconception. The first is physiological. Sexual attraction is equally strong in both sexes, but male erection and ejaculation are obvious, while in women all processes occur inside the body.
The second reason is cultural and historical. For centuries, women’s sexual desire has been seen as a threat to the institution of marriage. It seemed that a too passionate woman would not be satisfied with one man, and this was fraught with the appearance of illegitimate children. That is why many preferred to believe that women’s desire is primarily associated with the need for motherhood, and the modern woman continues to be torn between the roles of mother and mistress.
The third reason is hormonal. Month after month, the body of a woman of childbearing age produces eggs, the purpose of which is to be fertilized. During the period of ovulation, she feels most ready for sex. But to say that the rhythm of desire is subordinated to the hormonal rhythm is to reduce sexuality to the instinct of reproduction. In this case, the very concept of «sexuality» would apply only to women of childbearing age and only on certain days of the month!
However, love relationships are a whole universe in which men and women strive to meet, like each other, give pleasure and open up to a partner. The reproductive instinct may indeed be the basis for arousal, but in any case it is only a starting point.
The fourth reason is psychological. In childhood, we discover with curiosity and distrust sexual desire, which can be interpreted as aggressive and therefore condemned. If men, whose aggressiveness is tolerated by society, do not worry much about this, then it is difficult for women to accept it. Claiming that their sexual desire is weaker than that of a partner, women sincerely believe that they are only obeying the male will. And thus they avoid meeting the seeming danger of their own desire.
About the Expert: Catherine Blanc is the author of La sexualite des femmes n’est pas celle des magazines (La martiniere, 2004).