Are you worried that you can’t remember the name of the interlocutor you just met, or are you rushing home to double-check if the iron has been turned off? Do not rush to blame your “leaky” memory for everything – perhaps it’s not about it at all.
“A few years ago, when I was in my XNUMXs and XNUMXs, I was on my way to speak in Cambridge and was very worried that I would be late,” recalls writer and TED speaker Lisa Jenova. – Arriving, I parked somewhere in the underground parking lot. I usually take a picture of the seat number so I can find the car later, but here my whole mind was on the performance, and I didn’t even pay attention to where I parked it.
The talk was a success, I answered questions, signed a few books, and returned to the parking lot where I thought my car was. But she wasn’t there. I went searching, circling after circling, feeling more and more lost and helpless. I was sure that I left the car on the fourth floor, but in which section – A, B or C? I had no idea about this.”
Jenova admits that she was about to report the car stolen when she finally found it at location 4B.
Why did this happen to her? Was the writer’s bad memory to blame? Not at all. In order to remember something, we first need to notice it, which means that we need two things: perception (sight, hearing, touch, smell) and attention. Jenova didn’t find the car, not because she suffered from memory lapses, but because she didn’t even pay attention to where she parked it. Our brain does not capture everything, but only what we notice.
Every day, our senses are bombarded with information.
For example, when we see a Christmas tree in front of us, which they put up in the square and began to decorate for the New Year, this information is converted into signals and enters the visual cortex, located at the back of the brain. There, the image is processed, thanks to which we see the picture.
Then it can go to other parts of the brain so that we can recognize what we saw, compare with something, experience some emotions or form a certain opinion. But only if we “turn on” our attention, what we see will be imprinted in our memory.
So if you didn’t remember the name of the person who was just introduced to you, or the phone number that was dictated to you, or whether you locked the front door and turned off the iron, then you just didn’t pay enough attention to it.
Usually we remember what we are interested in, what is important to us, what is new, significant, what makes us emotional. In this case, our brain diligently picks out and notes the details – and ignores everything else.
Imagine the situation: at a party, a friend introduces you to her new partner. You greet each other, start chatting, and after a couple of minutes you find with horror that you don’t remember his name at all. Or you meet him in a couple of days at the supermarket – and you also can’t remember his name.
After you hear a person’s name, you have 15 to 30 seconds to remember it.
Without this effort, it will hardly remain in your memory. It is necessary to consciously “turn on” your brain, because usually we function on autopilot, or daydream, or chew the same “mental gum”.
What is the conclusion from all this? Because we remember what we focus on, we need to be more conscious about where to focus our attention. Optimists are more likely to pay attention to the good, and it is precisely such events that are imprinted in their memory, and in this we should take their example.
In addition, we may well work to improve our memory – for this it is worth first of all:
- minimize all that can distract us,
- sleep well,
- meditate
- reduce caffeine intake (the last such drink is 12 hours before going to bed).
Multitasking is still valued by many these days, but if you’re on the phone and editing a presentation or a report at the same time, is it possible to say that at least some of these tasks will stick in your memory? Hardly. Therefore, we should more often concentrate on what is happening to us “in the moment”, here and now. At a minimum, so that when confronted with a friend’s boyfriend, it would not be painfully ashamed that we cannot remember his name.